Div Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 FYI, broke up with ex 6 months ago, we were together 2.5 years she cheated in the last 6 months. I was thinking today, after feeling pretty crummy about past events. I have been wallowing in self-pity wondering why why why, why would you one minute be in love with someone and in the next minute be flirting it up with other guys. I felt that there must be something wrong with me, and I keep looking at myself and what it is that caused her to disrespect me. It's lowered my self-esteem and made me a shallow shell of a man for the last 6 months. But today I had a realization, she didn't disrespect me, she disrespected the relationship. In a relationship there are three entities, two people and then the "relationship" itself is another object. All interactions between the two people pass through this object and affect it in someway. So by her cheating and dumping me, instead of wallowing wondering why she did it to me, I now actually feel kinda sorry for this third entity- the relationship which is now dead and burning. But not me, I am separate from this third entity. I am totally independent and can manage without it. This perspective has really helped me look at the bigger picture, so I thought I'd share it with everyone.
VJW Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 I hope that I can get to that point soon. Congratulations on your breakthrough!!
amy12344 Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 I agree, it's an excellent perspective!! Thanks for sharing!
Recommended Posts