OliveOyl Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Hi. My shortened story is that I separated from my husband near the beginning of the year. My situation is kind of complex, but basically: we have a disabled son (along with another kid), I was terribly unhappy in the marriage for a variety of reasons and had an online relationship for a while (which is now over, I don't think hubby knew about, and I knew it would never develop into more). I could say more about how my hubby wasn't dealing well with things either -- drinking too much, rages... -- but my main point is we both contributed to the breakdown of the marriage. I moved out and took the disabled son with me and left hubby and other child in the house. Moving out gave an immediate sense of relief and for several months I just didn't really do anything (finding a job with my son's disability is challenging, not to mention the fact I've been stay-at-home for many years). I hadn't been motivated to actually file for divorce, mainly because of protecting the other child's feelings (a teen), and all the financial implications. And in the back of my mind, I thought perhaps eventually, maybe slowly over time, maybe hubby and I would start taking reconciliatory actions, although I didn't think there was a high chance of that. However I recently learned (hubby told me) that he now has a girlfriend (that he has hooked up with since we were separated). I'm not "jealous" nor do I want him back. It's more that in some way, that knowledge sort of severs any sort of "family feeling" that was left for me. It makes me feel there is no reason now to stay married at all. I feel basically like all I am now is my husbands "nanny" (in that my "work" is taking care of our very difficult-to-care for son) while he gets to have a life. Perhaps this is somewhat irrational because I agreed to the separation arrangement... heck, I initiated it. But somehow, now that things have changed (for him... with son, etc. I can't really consider dating right now) I just feel like consulting an attorney, getting my assets (from the house, etc.), and getting OUT. Even though it will hurt financially... probably a lot. We have been *very* amicable up until now. Throughout our marriage and even through the separation, there has been no fighting, and very few arguments. But now things have shifted within me. That final bond has been broken.
sirweasles Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 you chose your route when you left. your H held you too. it its time for you to live up to your choiceget the d and move on.
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