need some on how you coped...

[feelingfine]

Hi all! So, here is the situation...separated 1.5 years b/c he chose to run. Into the arms of a younger woman. So, now when he has our children for the night or weekend he has her with them as well. My daughters (14/12) don't talk to me about it, but my son does. Says she is reallly nice.

It is sooooo hard for me to swollow. I am accepting the fact that we will divorce but how do you deal with your children being around the OW?

Thanks

[willowthewisp]

Hi,

 

I don't have kids so can only imagine what you are going through and how hard that must be.

 

Remember, she is not nice though. She is a women who went with a married man with children, that is not a nice women. Somewhere down the line it is likely she will treat your husband with as little respect as you treated you and your family, but by then I hope that you won't care and will be happy with someone else.

 

Hugs

[feelingfine]

thanks Willow! Very nice to read...hope you are hanging in there...I read up on you and know how hard of a time this can be.

[sirweasles]

just remember they are children and it doesnt matter how you feel this woman is in there lives you need to chose to not talk about her or only say possitive things about her it is very crucial to your kids and you will never be ok with another person playing your role as parent it sucks

[Steadfast]

My gf is divorced and this is the single biggest issue she has with her ex. Her kids love dad's live-in lady friend, who sends cute texts, leaves notes, etc.

 

She really has a hard time with it. Especially considering the fact that this woman is the person he cheated with during their marriage. I can see it.

 

Two things jump out. One, you are their mother and always will be. There is no competition, even if it occasionally feels like it. Second, the kids are innocent bystanders; what choice do they have but to deal with it? Remember: it could be worse. A lot worse. Know what I mean?

 

No matter how warm and fuzzy it seems, this woman knows -deep down- that her 'man' is a cheater. He's capable of it. Now perhaps, when things are new and exciting she's thinking they're soul mates; that you and her a far different people. That he had to get away. But he's the same man you were married to...or soon will be again. It will eat at her until something happens. Count on it. Her? She slept with a married man. 'Nuff said.

 

This has little to do with the kids, but it will preoccupy their time. Who will be there for them when trouble arrives? You will. You know it, they know it and most of all, the kids know it. Rest easy, they're only little for a little while-

[feelingfine]

Oh Steadfast...love what you said. It is so real and logical. Thank you for that!!