AgeOfUninnocence Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I'm sure I can't be the only person here starting to feel good about themselves again-- and for those who aren't there yet, you will get there!! However, lately I notice the one thing that does seem to get me feeling a little low is certain friends. I'm talking about the friends who get a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and suddenly seem to drop off the face of the planet, or become joined at the hip with their man. The majority of my close friends these days have been with their boyfriend between 4 months and a year and a half, and they are all convinced that they are going to be married and that's that. They have their entire futures planned out, and they are only underclassmen in college! And so on one hand, it strikes me that this is not fair at all, and upsets me and makes me wonder what's wrong with myself that I can't have that too. And on the other hand, I look at all the celebrity couples lately that have broken up after years of marriage, and I know that it's unlikely that all my friends will last with their guys forever. But somehow I look at them and don't feel like they'll ever have to deal with a breakup like I did. Or that they want to. In particular right now, I have a friend who has been speeding through a relationship with her guy and avoiding the fact that after a fight she and her guy had, he decided to get drunk and have sex with another girl. As hurt as she was, she still took him back in a day, followed him back to his school just because she couldn't stand being away from him (college LDR), told all his friends to keep an eye on him, and had sex with him multiple times before he'd gotten tested after sleeping with the other girl. She spends every weekend either visiting him or having him come to her school, and because of this she hasn't made any real friends in college besides he roommate. My friends and I hardly ever see her anymore because she spends every single day with her guy, and when we do see her, she has to bring him along. Despite the fact that they've only known each other less than half a year, she says he's her best friend, and when she has problems in her life, she'll call up him first rather than tell the rest of us. What's bothering me now is that she's reeking of codependency. Although her boyfriend seems to reek of codependency too. and personally, I just feel like that's not healthy. I thought I was a mess in my breakup, but I feel like if she breaks up with her guy she'll die, or worse, if a situation occurred where it's best for them to break up, she'd never accept it or go through with it because they're both so codependent on each other. How do you guys deal with a friend like this? I want her to be happy, but happiness can't solely be found in a relationship. You need to have balance. And it hurts me that even though I know this, and have done it well, I'm still single with no dating prospects going on. Most importantly, I know that this is just the lives of my friends, and I shouldn't let it get to me, but it really does. How can I learn to ignore and stop being so affected by what's going on in my friends lives?
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