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Star_Bright

By Star_Bright
in The Other Man / Woman

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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Star_Bright Established Member

Star_Bright

Posted
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Hi forum,

 

I haven't been on in awhile due to being out of the country traveling. I just wanted to check in and say hi to everyone. As far as an update goes, well, I have not had any contact with exMM for quite some time. At first we kept in casual contact as in, he would tell me he still loved me and was going to leave his wife and I would be like, well, let me know if you ever actually do. Then I got tired of it because I think it was just his way to keep tabs on me and it was dragging me down and I knew/know he is never going to leave her and really I don't want him any more anyway. I am in a much better place. So before I went out of the country I told him he could not contact me anymore. He didn't know I wouldn't have phone/Internet access so it was easy for me to "block" him and stick to my guns without feeling bad. Now I'm back and he has stopped trying to contact me and I feel so good.

 

I've been "dating" a new guy, as in, casual and group dates... just trying to take things slow because I don't want to be in a serious relationship right now. It's awesome to be getting to know a great single guy though, and on top of everything else it's showing me how messed up the relationship with exMM was as opposed to what I consider to be a more "real" relationship, where he and I get to know each other naturally and slowly instead of being inundated with a fantasy relationship based on escapism or hopes.

 

So I am doing well and I hope everyone else is too! Since it was just Thanksgiving I just wanted to let everyone here at the forum know how thankful I am for your support and advice! It helped me tremendously and I feel so much better than when I was with exMM.

 

Love to all,

SB

spice4life Established Member

spice4life

Posted
Posted
:) Thanks for the update this sounds very encouraging. I'm glad you are out there dating and strating to see what a normal courtship feels like. I need to do the same. I'm done with the A but haven't actually started dating yet. Reading your post has lifted my spirits! I was feeling a little mopy due to the holiday. So thank you for posting! :)
TigerCub Established Member

TigerCub

Posted
Posted

Congrats SB! :)

 

I am so happy to hear that you are finally truly free from all that pain and that you have opened a new and BETTER door to more healthy relationships in your life.

 

I am so very proud of you.

 

You really are such an awesome, smart and strong gal and I couldn't be happier for you :)

fooled once Established Member

fooled once

Posted
Posted
Hi forum,

 

I haven't been on in awhile due to being out of the country traveling. I just wanted to check in and say hi to everyone. As far as an update goes, well, I have not had any contact with exMM for quite some time. At first we kept in casual contact as in, he would tell me he still loved me and was going to leave his wife and I would be like, well, let me know if you ever actually do. Then I got tired of it because I think it was just his way to keep tabs on me and it was dragging me down and I knew/know he is never going to leave her and really I don't want him any more anyway. I am in a much better place. So before I went out of the country I told him he could not contact me anymore. He didn't know I wouldn't have phone/Internet access so it was easy for me to "block" him and stick to my guns without feeling bad. Now I'm back and he has stopped trying to contact me and I feel so good.

 

I've been "dating" a new guy, as in, casual and group dates... just trying to take things slow because I don't want to be in a serious relationship right now. It's awesome to be getting to know a great single guy though, and on top of everything else it's showing me how messed up the relationship with exMM was as opposed to what I consider to be a more "real" relationship, where he and I get to know each other naturally and slowly instead of being inundated with a fantasy relationship based on escapism or hopes.

 

So I am doing well and I hope everyone else is too! Since it was just Thanksgiving I just wanted to let everyone here at the forum know how thankful I am for your support and advice! It helped me tremendously and I feel so much better than when I was with exMM.

 

Love to all,

SB

 

Hey SB!!!

 

I have wondered where you were!! I hope you had a good time traveling!

 

And I am so happy to hear you are dating!!!! :) :) :) :)

 

Fantastic!

 

Even happier to hear you haven't let xMM weasel his way back into your life!

 

Thanks for checking in .... I have missed you!! ((hugs))

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Star_Bright Established Member

Star_Bright

Posted
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Posted

Thanks, TigerCub, Spice4Life and Fooled_Once! HUGS!!

 

Spice4Life- I'm glad my post helped you - you really will get there. It was a very hard process for me but I can truly say I am starting to get over exMM and I am focused on myself. On the dating front... it's hard for me in some ways. I don't feel I'm ready to date - I'm in IC and my therapist says I should spent some time single and paying attention to my feelings without letting a guy influence them or distract me from myself. At the same time, I've had opportunities present themselves that I didn't want to miss out on because I would feel like I was holding myself back due to exMM. Most of them have not felt right and I'm learning that dating is a process of filtering people out and that usually it's not the right match. but with this one guy, I have amazing chemistry. He's very smart, successful, nice, attractive, and funny, and it just kind of blows my mind that such a guy would be single and interested in me. :laugh: (I'm not sure why it blows my mind that a great catch likes me and only me, and I'm working this out in IC.) He expresses interest without being pushy or rushing things, which I really appreciate. I'm taking it slow and trying not to base my emotional state on how things are going with him (in fact, I take note of how I feel after I see him and have noticed I'm rather co-dependent on being with a guy to feel happier... so I've been making sure to do things for myself that make me happy, like writing, running, seeing my family, traveling, etc.), and so far it is going really well.

 

So anyway I would encourage you to test the waters dating-wise but remain true to yourself and focused on looking at your past and present and what you want in the future. :) I have a bad tendency to get all wrapped up in a guy as a means to escape my own issues, and that obviously hasn't worked out well for me!, so I am trying hard to break that pattern.

 

Thanks again to all three of you for your continued support!

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