SimonSerenade Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 So basically I sent a nice neckless to my ex along with a letter of closure and she has just recently emailed me to thank me for the neckless and hope's I'm well, She said it was only a just email to begin with so didn't expect much, Any other day I'd of pounced on this opportunity to talk to her but to my surprise my desperation for her as left me and I just quickly shoved it aside like bad news print, What should I do? Continue with no contact or reply?
bl22 Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 no no no no dont respond. if you do, she will ONLY think you sent her the necklace and letter in an attempt to get her back and get talking, she'll think its very decieving. TRUST ME. If she thinks that everytime she contacts you, you will respond being needy and desperate, it will put her off contacting you ( trust me i know this from experience) Just ignore it, trust me on this 1. Looks like your gamble may have paid off but this is the best you can expect for now anyway. Anymore and you'll ruin it all. You need to act like you've moved on now. Dont let it get to the point where SHE doesnt respond to you, which is what will happen if you respond to the email. What did she say btw?
Margot Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I agree with bl22, don't respond. You already sent her the necklace and letter and she said thanks. Leave it there, because then you respond and she doesn't you will feel bad. Also that she would see that you are making any attempted to catch her attention (and even if it's true) you can't show her that. I don't know why, but the just love seeing us needy and desperate. Stick to NC. My experienced had taught me that NC is the best way to heal, the best to show them that the break up doesn't affected us much (even if we are dying on the inside), and that you can live without her. By time she is going to be the one approaching you. When she sees that you are alright being without her. If she doesn't approach you will know that she isn't worth your pain.
Author SimonSerenade Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Just the answers I was hoping for, I think I'm coping rather well at the minute, Just taking each day as it comes and preoccupying my mind with games and such, So rather than thinking "I wonder what Sam's up to :(" I'm thinking "Hmm what class should I pick for my friend on Dragon Quest IX, No... she'd be a rubbish healer in real life, Maybe a warrior... She is a bit chunky", ha ha, At the moment I'd love nothing more than to have a go at her, She made my mum cry tonight when she dropped my son off as apparently she was a little harsh and bitchy but just going to ignore it, The next time I contact her will be just before New years eve to let her know that the offer to look after my son has been withdrawn for new years as I'll be going out, I feel I deserve it and then she can be the one staying in for once as I've given many of my weekends up. I'm hoping she'll grow up and I'm hoping she'll have a hard hit of realisation when it sinks in that I'm not there any more cause to be honest I just couldn't be friends with her, Would be all or nothing for me and as every passing day goes by, It's getting just that bit easier to get by, I feel I let her go in that letter I sent her and by doing that everything else went with it. I don't feel great or anything but I feel my self assurance and respect coming back to me as well as my dignity and pride and that's always great.
bl22 Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 You're deffo making progress, you sound the same as me tbh. Ive decided im not going to contact her on her birthday, just as your saying it will be a hard relisation hopefully that im not there anymore, and if its not then ill be glad i didnt say it. My friends are saying I would bea complete and utter fool to even bother wishing her a happy birthday when shes going to be spending it with him , plus she doesnt want me in her life anymore. Makes sense really. Well done for going out new years, got anything good planned?
EricaH329 Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I'm so glad to hear that she took notice in the closure letter you sent her! I know how you wanted her to at least acknowledge what you had done. That being said, if you feel that you cannot be friends with her for any reason, then don't. There's no reason you should have to. Of course, be civil because you both have a child together, but aside from that there is no obligation to her.
Tressugar Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 It was a letter of closure. Let it be just that.
Author SimonSerenade Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Thank's dude, To be honest I'd think you would be a complete and utter fool to take her back but you'd say the same about me, I suppose it all depends on the effort they make and the love they show at the time cause a simple apology won't make for there absence after all this time nor will it take away or make up for the pain that we've endured while they simply felt nothing. Not sure where I'll be going yet, Probably just somewhere local then I'll probably just go home and a have a bash on Fifa 11 or something lol. I feel I got my closure in that letter, I knew she wouldn't give it me and I'm quite proud of myself for going through all of this and maybe not so much coming out on top but at least surviving it and getting the closure for myself, I feel stronger just knowing she can send me an email and having no problem not replying to it.
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