Does anyone else see a problem with needing/wanting a relationship?

[betamanlet]

It just smells of dependence/codependency to me. Don't people like being their own person? Or is it the norm, and my views are abnormal wh ich I would have no issue with?

[westrock]

You can be your own person and also be in a relationship. The two are not mutually exclusive.

[carhill]

Do you think, if people didn't want relationships, that your job and the government seat you work in or near would even exist? Would you exist? Intimate relationships are a natural extension of our hard wiring as social animals. There are plenty of solitary animals which exist without relationships and merely are wired to mate during specific times and conditions to propagate their species. We could do that too. Some of us do. Some of us who don't probably should. Such are the ironies of life.

[SmileFace]

I see no problem with someone wanting a relationship. I think we are designed to be with someone. (Well some of us)

 

I have a problem with people who claim to need a relationship.That is when the dependence/co-dependence fumes start boiling.

 

The guy I am talking to now asked me why I am not in a relationship.

 

I replied " A relationship is what I aim for, but it isn't what I need. I like the idea of having someone but I have no problem being with myself. I am looking for someone to compliment me - not complete me".

 

Anyway your views aren't abnormal -- since I agree but I am abnormal. :-)

[Pyro]

wanting and needing are two different things. Perfectly fine to want to want a relationship.

[threebyfate]

wanting and needing are two different things. Perfectly fine to want to want a relationship.

So true!!

 

We truly are social animals as expressed by carhill. To not want to be close to another or others, sounds more like some form of social anxiety.

 

To need a relationship does sound like a codependency, whereupon you need someone to "complete" you. What? You're some kind of swiss cheese with big holes all over you?

[Star Gazer]

wanting and needing are two different things. Perfectly fine to want to want a relationship.

 

Yup, yup!!

[westrock]

One can also "need" a relationship without being needy or co-dependent.

 

To "need" is not necessarily a bad thing.

[betamanlet]

Do you think, if people didn't want relationships, that your job and the government seat you work in or near would even exist? Would you exist? Intimate relationships are a natural extension of our hard wiring as social animals. There are plenty of solitary animals which exist without relationships and merely are wired to mate during specific times and conditions to propagate their species. We could do that too. Some of us do. Some of us who don't probably should. Such are the ironies of life.

It seems to be the norm to get one to procreate and leave them, not many children are born to married couples anymore...

 

 

Not passing judgment, just stating reality.

[betamanlet]

I see no problem with someone wanting a relationship. I think we are designed to be with someone. (Well some of us)

 

I have a problem with people who claim to need a relationship.That is when the dependence/co-dependence fumes start boiling.

 

The guy I am talking to now asked me why I am not in a relationship.

 

I replied " A relationship is what I aim for, but it isn't what I need. I like the idea of having someone but I have no problem being with myself. I am looking for someone to compliment me - not complete me".

 

Anyway your views aren't abnormal -- since I agree but I am abnormal. :-)

 

 

Thanks, that feels good, that your , or our abnormality probably isn't so abnormal.

[Pyro]

One can also "need" a relationship without being needy or co-dependent.

 

To "need" is not necessarily a bad thing.

 

elaborate on this.

[skydiveaddict]

I gotta be honest Beta, being alone is getting old for me, I get along ok by myself, but I do miss having someone

[TokyoG33kyGal]

co-dependency for me is needing a relationship to fill a void or find validation

 

that's why i hate jerry maguire-like movies (you complete me)

[betamanlet]

I gotta be honest Beta, being alone is getting old for me, I get along ok by myself, but I do miss having someone

 

dont you enjoy your privacy?

[shlomo]

dont you enjoy your privacy?

jerk! J seems like a nice girl. Why keep waiting for a Megan Fox or Rachel Weisz to sweep you off your feet?

[Vesna]

I have been single for five years and I love it. The men in my age and demographic group do not suit me. I will not settle for anyone just for sake of saying to the world "Hey I am in a relationship". I'm too damned selfish to share and to me the word relationship should be changed to entanglement.

 

It annoys me to see so many intelligent women screw their lives up with the first man they meet after a break up and it also annoys me that they are annoyed with me. Why? Because I refuse to follow their trend and hook up with a loser. Misery loves company and that makes me a lousy companion. I have too much else to do with my life, like sort my head out.