The self-proclaimed,self-employed workaholic

[irc333]

No, it means she's going to be selective and will not waste her time with a guy she doesn't know if she's into. She doesn't have the time to do so, as a woman who works at Walmart does.

 

And please stop quoting someone's profile for analysis here. It's bad enough when you used to link to it, but quoting it is just as bad because it can be easily found.

 

I'm not quoting, I'm paraphrasing what I've seen quite a few women say in their profiles in general when they say they're busy. Chances of it being found are practically nil. That's why've I've stopped linking to it altogether, that way when I paraphrase, it shouldn't be found.

 

You worry too much about what I do here.

[Star Gazer]

I'm not quoting, I'm paraphrasing what I've seen quite a few women say in their profiles in general when they say they're busy.

 

If you're paraphrasing, you're putting your own spin on it.

 

I've never heard of a person, male or female, putting "I won't have time to date you" in an online profile. Why? Because it just makes no sense. It's like putting "I don't have time to work" on the top line of a resume to a prospective employer.

 

What these women are probably saying, which you're twisting around, is "I'm a very busy person and find it difficult to meet people outside of my work hours, hence why I'm here, to try another method of finding someone." I highly, highly, highly doubt they're saying, "I'm so busy I don't have the time to date."

 

You're just taking it that way because they're not responding to YOU specifically. It's time to stop spinning these women into undatable beings just because they reject you.

[carhill]

Workaholics *can* have successful and healthy relationships. Many do. A number (small number) of my friend's marriages are examples. The critical aspect is that each partner is *accepting* of the dynamic and their shared focus on work achievement and success. They join emotionally in their own unique way and it works *for them*. They also are very independent and self-actuating.

 

Using pandagirl's dynamic as an example, one partner, faced with a scheduling conflict, would be on the same page, e.g. 'no worries, yeah I have xxx and xxx going on and wouldn't be able to get away and (insert flirtatious remark) and I'm looking forward to that' Each person has a full and diverse life and the level with which they share it with their partner and share their partner's life is satisfying to them. Neither wants 'more' in a way which undermines the health of what they enjoy together.

 

As a disclaimer, I am nothing like this, but having a decade-long M to such a person taught me a few things. Respecting our differences is part of acceptance, whether within a relationship or as a symbol of incompatibility.

[irc333]

"I'm a very busy person and find it difficult to meet people outside of my work hours, hence why I'm here

 

This has nothing to do with them rejecting me, I am aware that if they will make time if they're interested.

 

I know it doesn't make sense, and I'm asking why are they putting such a disclaimer if they're a work-a-holic and obsessed with their career, personally, I think they should hide their ad or take it down, because it wouldn't be fair for anyone.

 

I'm just saying for those people that put such a disclaimer, "I'm a very busy person with my career, so a person must be able to understand this".

 

When I see this, it makes me wonder why they bother with online dating? Why put this disclaimer on the website, claim you might not have time for anyone in your life.

 

I hear one of the selling points with matchmakers is that the benefits of a professional matchmaker was meant for the busy professional. I could never understand this myself because if the professional is so busy, they really should not be dating at all actually....until they can tone down their intense career pursuits.

 

I've actually had seen people admit to the fact that WERE (past tense were) busy with a great career, kids, etc...and NOW found the time to place the add, because they chose to take it down a notch with the career, and now look for someone to share their life with. That is something that's commendable.

 

But what they are saying in their profile they might as WELL be saying, "I'm putting my career before any boyfriend or date, so I might not have time to date". Which is to say, the guys that she dates are put on the backburner at the very most, and you'll be lucky if you get to see them once a month.

 

I've known guys and women to have to move on because the person they were dating were so work obsessed.

 

I do find it that it makes sense, if your boss is making you work weekends or over time, but to do it voluntarily, well, that just shows that having a boyfriend or being married is not in your stars just yet.

 

I don't know, if I had a choice between going on a cruise with a woman, vs the OPTION of having to work that weekend, I'd save the option to work the NEXT weekend.

 

And yes, but...I've also literally said that I've seen some women bluntly put, "I'm busy with my career, so he must understand that I might not have time to date." I've heard that a few times (not many).

 

So thus, at this point in their life, they really should even attempt dating.

 

It's in the same category as, "My kids are #1, they come first, etc, etc", which I had seen countless times on dating sites.

[irc333]

I had a female friend that was in a restaurant industry, she worked late and weekends, he worked during normal business hours, so they hardly saw each other.

 

They even LIVED together.

 

She quoted it as, "Two ships passing in the night"

 

Unfortunately, this arrangement didn't pan out, and they split up.

 

 

Workaholics *can* have successful and healthy relationships. Many do. A number (small number) of my friend's marriages are examples. The critical aspect is that each partner is *accepting* of the dynamic and their shared focus on work achievement and success. They join emotionally in their own unique way and it works *for them*. They also are very independent and self-actuating.

 

Using pandagirl's dynamic as an example, one partner, faced with a scheduling conflict, would be on the same page, e.g. 'no worries, yeah I have xxx and xxx going on and wouldn't be able to get away and (insert flirtatious remark) and I'm looking forward to that' Each person has a full and diverse life and the level with which they share it with their partner and share their partner's life is satisfying to them. Neither wants 'more' in a way which undermines the health of what they enjoy together.

 

As a disclaimer, I am nothing like this, but having a decade-long M to such a person taught me a few things. Respecting our differences is part of acceptance, whether within a relationship or as a symbol of incompatibility.

[pandagirl]

So if a woman says IN her profile (which is read by ALL men), "I am a busy woman, so you better understand my career is important to me, so I might not have time to date you."

 

That means she doesn't like any men? LOL Funny.

 

It's a rhetorical question, see, she's saying it to ALL men that read it, not just the ones she's NOT interested in.

 

She's basically saying that she wants to date and probably be in a relationship, but she's looking for someone who will be compatible with her lifestyle, because she's not willing to change it.

 

Same with people who have kids.

[Star Gazer]

This has nothing to do with them rejecting me, I am aware that if they will make time if they're interested.

 

You wouldn't care about this woman's profile or be analyzing it unless she had rejected you/not responded to you.

[hydorclops]

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