Star82 Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I gave in and answered the phone this morning, stupid me. He had another female in the car with him (who definitely wasn't his wife). How quickly they move on and he's talking to me like it's nothing!!!!! My heart broke, but I held it together long enough to not let him know that and get off the phone. Lesson learned, but now I just feel awful.
carhill Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Hi OP... Read your original thread on this issue and will offer my sympathies. Your 'man' is a coward, pure and simple, and the episode with the 'other female' indicates well-established narcissism as well, IMO. The really good information is you now have tools to recognize such men and avoid investing your valuable time and energy in them in the future. If you can't block his phone number, merely change yours. Done. Best wishes in your healing
Author Star82 Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Hi OP... Read your original thread on this issue and will offer my sympathies. Your 'man' is a coward, pure and simple, and the episode with the 'other female' indicates well-established narcissism as well, IMO. The really good information is you now have tools to recognize such men and avoid investing your valuable time and energy in them in the future. If you can't block his phone number, merely change yours. Done. Best wishes in your healing Thank you very much. I have been reading up on NPD and I think you're right. He was sitting there telling me that he missed me and wished I was there with him, right in front of her! I'm just stunned.
carhill Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 You are observing important differences in how people feel and how they extend their emotions to the world around them. To be clear, this man has his compatible partner, and that's good news. You've identified that such a partner is not you. The 'stunned' is your emotional reaction to the incompatibilities. To you, such actions apparently are beyond the scope of what you consider to be healthy. Not so for him. He sees the world and its people completely differently. Great stuff
whichwayisup Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 That was just plain cruel and mean of him to do that to you. I am sorry you're hurting..Use your pain and hopefully that anger that's going to come to help you get over him. He is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not worthy of any tears. He's a total jerk! Don't cry, get MAD! Channel that energy into something positive and let the healing truly begin!
Author Star82 Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 I'm not feeding his ego anymore, so let's destroy mine......is that the game here? I', so confused. I'm giving myself today only to grieve and feel some self pity. Tomorrow morning, I'm moving on full steam ahead.
whichwayisup Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I'm not feeding his ego anymore, so let's destroy mine......is that the game here? I', so confused. I'm giving myself today only to grieve and feel some self pity. Tomorrow morning, I'm moving on full steam ahead. Good for you! If he truly is an N, don't bother to try figure out what goes on in his mind, o why he does things the way he does. His mind is a scary place! Just be glad he is out of your life!
spice4life Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I'm not feeding his ego anymore, so let's destroy mine......is that the game here? I', so confused. I'm giving myself today only to grieve and feel some self pity. Tomorrow morning, I'm moving on full steam ahead. Good for you! What a low down dirty thing for him to do to you. Be glad you are rid of him...he's someone elses problem now. Wow...you deserve so much better and this guy ain't it. So sorry you're hurting from this. Stay strong and move on from this creep.
Author Star82 Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 It definitely felt like a childish lash out kind of move, but that doesn't make it any less painful.
jj33 Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Oh that sucks so sorry. But I doubt its an OOW. How cruel would he have to be to do that. It could be someone he was taking to church or something like that. Why would he be so rude (and also rude to the OOW) if he called you in front of another romantic interest. He loses on both counts if he does that. He SOUNDS easy and breezy but he was calling. He obviously misses you and was checking out your response. Hold fast to what you want. Hang in there Big hugs
pureinheart Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I gave in and answered the phone this morning, stupid me. He had another female in the car with him (who definitely wasn't his wife). How quickly they move on and he's talking to me like it's nothing!!!!! My heart broke, but I held it together long enough to not let him know that and get off the phone. Lesson learned, but now I just feel awful. Hi Star...it all hurts so bad, but there will be a new morning for you:). I think that is really weird and immature, and I think he did that to get back at you. If this is the case YOU DO NOT WANT THIS TYPE OF PERSON IN YOUR LIFE! I knew a persaon once that always had to get people back if he felt they wronged him. OMG it was so hard to be with this person...it was all about revenge all of the time. IMO this is next to the worst type of person to have to deal with. They are capable of some really sick and cruel things. My motto is to avoid vindictive people like the plague! You have lost nothing, but he will. (((((((((((hugs)))))))))
awkward Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 The only way I can see that it was an OOW was if she is new and he was pretending that you were his wife. Maybe showing her that he is going to stay married type thing. It could have been his sister, his best friends wife, or babysitter, etc. I'm sorry that he hurt you. Don't answer his call next time. In fact, block him. You're on your way to healing. 2011 is going to be a much better year for you.
spice4life Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Amen to staying away from vindictive people. Star82, it doesn't make any sense as to why he would do this to you. I hope, for your sake, that the other poster is right and it wasn't an OOW. That would be down right cruel.
Author Star82 Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 Thanks everyone. This pain is just so intense. He was supposedly my "best friend" too.
fooled once Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 I am sorry Star ((hugs)) As much as it hurts right now, be glad it isn't a year from now when you are dealing with this. You deserve so much better. Do not accept less than you are willing to give. I hope each day gets better for you!
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