nowwhatnow Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Just a wild question here, but, say down the road an ex realized they made a big mistake by letting you go. Would they tell you? Or as the dumpee do you have to make certain lines of contact open so that if they had this realization they would feel comfortable telling you? Thanks for your thoughtss
Gt.ooh Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 It depends.. some are so stubborn, they'd never admit they made a mistake though they may have realized it. Some of them do admit to it, after some good time has passed. In order for it to be worth your time, they have to be the ones opening contact, and in some way shape of form showing/admit they made a mistake.
Don_da_Ho Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 If they really think they made a mistake and want you back, the WILL make contact. Keeping the "lines of communication" open is just giving yourself false hope and preventing you from truly moving forward with your life and a new person.
SithLord Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 it doesnt matter when the time comes, i know trust me. like Don said, move on and focus on yourself.
RecordProducer Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I really believe that people make all of their choices in life based on one criterion: is this choice going to bring me the lifestyle that I want. People make a change when they think they'll gain something from the change. They retain status quo when they think they'll lose something if they make a change. This is why people choose to marry or stay single. Divorce or stay married. Get a degree or get a job. To try to answer your question... your ex can be crazy about you or completely indifferent; the only reason why they might regret losing you is if they think that life with you in it would be more comfrotable and pleasant. Very seldom do we miss people - we usually miss the life we had while those people were near. For example, a woman whose marriage failed after 20 years is more likely to grieve over the marriage than over the husband - i.e. the benefits of the marriage, not the qualities of the husband is what she perceives as her ultimate loss. All we care about is life itself. We're often even mad at ourselves for ruining our own lives.
Fern Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I really believe that people make all of their choices in life based on one criterion: is this choice going to bring me the lifestyle that I want. People make a change when they think they'll gain something from the change. They retain status quo when they think they'll lose something if they make a change. This is why people choose to marry or stay single. Divorce or stay married. Get a degree or get a job. To try to answer your question... your ex can be crazy about you or completely indifferent; the only reason why they might regret losing you is if they think that life with you in it would be more comfrotable and pleasant. Very seldom do we miss people - we usually miss the life we had while those people were near. For example, a woman whose marriage failed after 20 years is more likely to grieve over the marriage than over the husband - i.e. the benefits of the marriage, not the qualities of the husband is what she perceives as her ultimate loss. All we care about is life itself. We're often even mad at ourselves for ruining our own lives. I'm not sure this is true. I paid my exes rent, uni fees and child support and he still had an affair with a 23 year old who works part time in a cafe and has a kid with another man. They're now together and most likely skint. I, on the other hand, have a new car and an entirely new wardrobe. Yet I'm the one who's miserable...
RecordProducer Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I'm not sure this is true. I paid my exes rent, uni fees and child support and he still had an affair with a 23 year old who works part time in a cafe and has a kid with another man. They're now together and most likely skint. I, on the other hand, have a new car and an entirely new wardrobe. Yet I'm the one who's miserable...Oh, I didn't mean financially comfortable. Yes, it happens quite often that people cheat on someone who gave them everything. I guess people are drawn by challenege, especially men. A friend of mine had a similar story to yours and her husband cheated with an older woman. My friend divorced him and his mistress moved in with him thereafter. They're still together. My friend now lives with a new BF and says she's very happy with him. However, she told me that all her partners have cheated on her and guess what: her new BF cheated on his ex-wife. I wonder if he's going to cheat on my friend, as well.
Fern Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Oh, I didn't mean financially comfortable. Yes, it happens quite often that people cheat on someone who gave them everything. I guess people are drawn by challenege, especially men. A friend of mine had a similar story to yours and her husband cheated with an older woman. My friend divorced him and his mistress moved in with him thereafter. They're still together. My friend now lives with a new BF and says she's very happy with him. However, she told me that all her partners have cheated on her and guess what: her new BF cheated on his ex-wife. I wonder if he's going to cheat on my friend, as well. Some people never learn that the honeymoon phase is temporary. My ex was like that. He cheated quite a lot. I pity these idiots, eternally chasing an illusion - the person who 'completes' them. Fools. The only bigger fools are the idiots like me who put up with it. Never again...
Tressugar Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 It really depends on a lot of factors involved. But often times a person usually just moves on in life. It's easier to move forward and start anew with a new person then to go back on previously covered territory with a lot of baggage hurt/pain.
collegeguy_24 Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 To answer the OP original question, it depends on the individual. Some may come back, some may not. I was, and still am to a certain extent, waiting for my ex to realize she made a mistake and to come back to me. But as time goes on, I don't think she ever will, and while its extremely hard, the more you get used to that fact, the easier it will be to move on.
poorguy Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Yes they do come back on their own. I've had 3 LTR's and 2 of them came back or wanted to, but I had moved on in each case. They really come back if they had a case of GIGS and the original relationship wasn't bad. So yes they do come back without a doubt. KEEP this in mind though-it happens a lot more than you will read in LS because people who get their ex back or get back together stop posting on here because their case is closed...I have an ex girlfriend that we broke up in June because she had GIGS and got a new boyfriend right away.....Now all of the sudden not 4 or 5 days will go by and she'll contact me about something-when at this point we should really be strangers
SimonSerenade Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Every one of my girlfriend's aside from just one who ended thing's properly came back to me sooner or later, More later than sooner though, I didn't contact them, I just did nice things for them silently in the background from time to time out of the goodness of my heart, I remember one of my ex's being in trouble with money and owing it to the wrong people so I remember posting some money through her door to help her out, Didn't want anything to happen to her or anything and 2 weeks later she comes running back telling me how much she misses me and what I mean to her, I've always turned them down though as by the time they've come back my heart had already lost interest in waiting around for them and couldn't bare to be around them any more, Think the longest it took somebody to come back to me was around 10 months and before that was around 5-6 months, If they leave they'll always find a reason to come back, The trick is being that reason but doing it in a way you don't contact them.
Jdw_Icequeen Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Yes they do come back on their own. I've had 3 LTR's and 2 of them came back or wanted to, but I had moved on in each case. They really come back if they had a case of GIGS and the original relationship wasn't bad. So yes they do come back without a doubt. KEEP this in mind though-it happens a lot more than you will read in LS because people who get their ex back or get back together stop posting on here because their case is closed...I have an ex girlfriend that we broke up in June because she had GIGS and got a new boyfriend right away.....Now all of the sudden not 4 or 5 days will go by and she'll contact me about something-when at this point we should really be strangers That is SO true! When people get back together they are over the moon! They have no reason to come here crying in negativity looking for positive advice! I went through a bad divorce then found a new guy, This drove the ex crazy and tried to leave the door open any way he could he begged me NOT to divorce him and I was pregnant with another mans baby! Yes I divorced my ex I was so done with him! When we feel horrible we need more guidence and seek it by leaning on other people. When your happy? Well what more could you want or need. People definetly come back and when they do ALOT of the time we have actually already moved on. Try to be positive. I know its hard to beleive but with or without them WE will be happy again!!
RecordProducer Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 They really come back if they had a case of GIGS What's "GIGS"? Now all of the sudden not 4 or 5 days will go by and she'll contact me about something-when at this point we should really be strangers Why should you be strangers? Is she telling you she wants you back or is it your perception? (not saying incorrect perception, just asking if she explicitly told you she wanted you back) If they leave they'll always find a reason to come back, The trick is being that reason but doing it in a way you don't contact them. Simon, could you please elaborate? Thanks.
HeavenOrHell Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 How long is a pice of string?! Everyone is different there's no yes or no answer to this. Anyone with any sense, and if the love was strong enough, would contact their ex to say they made a mistake, IF they knew there was a chance things could work out this time around and their ex is likely to want to try again. Sometimes though it is just too late and their partner will have moved on so maybe they'd have to deal with that fact and not contact their ex. A dumpee can't keep lines of communication open indefinitely, you can't wait around in limbo for someone, I did it for 6 months, never again! If a dumper really wanted to find their ex, then they would, no matter what. Just a wild question here, but, say down the road an ex realized they made a big mistake by letting you go. Would they tell you? Or as the dumpee do you have to make certain lines of contact open so that if they had this realization they would feel comfortable telling you? Thanks for your thoughtss
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