diormidnightpoison Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 So he and his w are renewing their vows. Everything is perfect now that I am out of the picture. I feel such a strong sense of guilt now. I thought he was different than the typical cliche of a cheater. . .a man who has a wonderful home life but uses the OW for some thrills. We lasted over three years and he told me over and over again how he loved me and how he learned so much from me. His w is the same, he is the same, things are great for them since he started saving for a Harley and took riding lessons. Why do I feel like I was just a moment of insanity, unhealth, during his time? I feel so stupid and devastated for this. I feel like I am the typical OW that people see in th emovies. I am the weirdo that goes after a married man and ruins his life, then ends up alone. thoughts?
East7 Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Have you heard about the "hysterical rebound" ? It sounds much like that: Couples after a DDay, becoming suddenly the happiest people ever in love with each-other...Most of the time it is a temporary psychological reaction to an affair. The routine comes back very quickly. However, you shouldn't rub it in, better stay NC, away from him, what is happening in their marriage shouldn't be your concern anymore.
steelknife Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 So he and his w are renewing their vows. Everything is perfect now that I am out of the picture. I feel such a strong sense of guilt now. I thought he was different than the typical cliche of a cheater. . .a man who has a wonderful home life but uses the OW for some thrills. We lasted over three years and he told me over and over again how he loved me and how he learned so much from me. His w is the same, he is the same, things are great for them since he started saving for a Harley and took riding lessons. Why do I feel like I was just a moment of insanity, unhealth, during his time? I feel so stupid and devastated for this. I feel like I am the typical OW that people see in th emovies. I am the weirdo that goes after a married man and ruins his life, then ends up alone. thoughts? i hope you are happy to know that you are not by yourself in this. i am too. i am exactly in the same boat as you are. asking exactly the same questions. he told me how much he loves me. where is it now? ive never had a man as intense as he was, or as vocal as he was to tell me he loves me. during that time, i could really feel it. i knew he loved me. but it is gone now. the knowledge-truth be said, i dont know anymore. before i deleted my fb, i saw them happy happy taking photos. and comments like how bs looks forward to their 20th wedding anniv. its like. what was i then? was it a joke? he has moved on an has completely forgotten me when during the whole time we were togehter, he wouldnt ever let me go.. it makes me sad, i am wanting so bad to ask him but what for? his answers will not make a difference. we will just have to find it with in us to accept things the way they are and move on. i read morningcoffee said that he wouldnt miss the chance of loving his xmw and the chance she loved him for the world. i wish i can say the same..at this point, im just totally hurt and broken on what he did to me. the things he did and said when we were "us" and the things he did to me after dday were done by two totally different persona. this is just the way it is..it hurts but what can i do?
Pokemon Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 You have to come to the understanding that your life IS much better without both of them in the picture. No more complications, no more wondering if he's sneaking around, no more half of a man. You should be finding solace in the fact that you're out of the mess and have your whole life ahead to look forward to! Be strong, toughen up and kick that crap out of your life and thoughts!
OWoman Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 DMP, if anyone is a cliché in this, it is him, not you.
Star_Bright Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Yep, he is the cliche and the entire A seems to be pretty typical. I know it hurts to realize this but with knowledge you can move on and determine not to get yourself involved with another cake-eating married man ever again. You can do way better!
Hazyhead Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 You have to come to the understanding that your life IS much better without both of them in the picture. No more complications, no more wondering if he's sneaking around, no more half of a man. You should be finding solace in the fact that you're out of the mess and have your whole life ahead to look forward to! Be strong, toughen up and kick that crap out of your life and thoughts! Absolutely! Dior, I understand your thoughts - had the same ones myself but, when all is said and done, it doesn't matter, what matters is what you do from here on out. Pokemon is right, you are much better off without him in your life, even though it is painful, but that too shall pass. Move on to better, hon.
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