TigressA's multi-dating log

[tigressA]

I just scheduled an impromptu second date with Guy #6. He'll be here at 8 and I don't know what we're doing yet, but I'm looking forward to it. We were talking last night on our date about supposed "weirdness" seeing each other on OKCupid now that we've met offline. I sent him an IM earlier on the site and said "Hi...*weirdness*". He missed it but sent me a message later saying, "Sorry I missed that. Haha, no weirdness, I was just making lunch. I like you =)"

 

I actually won't be meeting Guy #4 until after the 5th...it wouldn't have been sometime until around the 12th-18th (?!) until I put my foot down, saying that absolutely wouldn't work for me and I questioned his overall availability, which seems sparse. But he said he'll make it back on the 5th...to be perfectly honest my interest in him has waned. I don't think I want to wait any longer than I already have been, particularly since I met Guy #6 and am going out with him again tonight, and am meeting Guy #5 on Friday. It's been nearly 5 weeks with Guy #4 and I would have to wait another week or so just to meet him for the first time. Sigh. I'm just going to cut him out altogether before we meet because I'm no longer enthusiastic about him.

[Allisha]

What brought on the sudden date tonight?!

 

I love this thread!

[tigressA]

What brought on the sudden date tonight?!

 

I love this thread!

 

We were talking about when to see each other again, and it looked like anything reasonably past Friday would be a bit difficult to schedule. I said, "At risk of sounding overeager, I'm free tonight and tomorrow ." He said, "Okay, let's do tonight then. I have a thing with friends tomorrow night." So there you have it.

 

I have a feeling there will be a kiss this time. There were a few moments last night when there could've been but wasn't. I'm a little nervous, in an excited way.

[Allisha]

We were talking about when to see each other again, and it looked like anything reasonably past Friday would be a bit difficult to schedule. I said, "At risk of sounding overeager, I'm free tonight and tomorrow ." He said, "Okay, let's do tonight then. I have a thing with friends tomorrow night." So there you have it.

 

I have a feeling there will be a kiss this time. There were a few moments last night when there could've been but wasn't. I'm a little nervous, in an excited way.

He sounds like a sweetheart.

 

So, out of the 6 or 7 guys, where does this one "rank" in terms of the others?

[welikeincrowds]

Guy #6?! Out of 7!?!? LOL. Dude, ballin.

 

This would be just a minefield for me. I'm so bad with names.

 

Seriously one of these has got to come through.

[Crazy Magnet]

This would be a great time for a summary post! I'm starting to get lost

 

I've been following the thread as I always enjoy your adventures in dating but sheesh I'm confused. haha

[tigressA]

I don't actually have 7 guys on my radar right now.

 

Guys #1, 2, and 3 who I went out with fell off the map; interest was too low for me to bother to continue. I'm just numbering them in the order that I've met them online.

 

Right now there are only Guys #5, 6, and 7--I'm cutting out Guy #4 due to his lack of availability; it's really incompatible with me and what I'm looking for. I've been in sparse contact with him for 5 weeks now and I'm bored by it.

 

I'll sum up things with the newest guys for those who are confused.

 

Guy #5: I'm meeting him for Date #1 on Friday. He's 28. Completely inexperienced. Spent so much time on his studies that he's never been on a date, let alone done anything else. I have a thing for virgins though, lol! In some things we're very alike and in other things quite different, and we've had some lively, mature debates. Our conversations have become rather deep overall. I feel like we could be complementary to each other. He is looking for a LTR.

 

Guy #6: I'm meeting him for Date #2 tonight; we met for Date #1 on Tuesday. He's 23. We have a lot in common so far and conversation between us flows so well. He says he's open to "whatever comes along" but ideally he'd like to be in a LTR. He's cute; when he came to the door last night my roommate's gay friend (guy) answered, and today he told me "Ooh, girl, you don't see guys who look like him every day!"

 

Guy #7: I *may* be meeting him for Date #1 Thursday. Not sure. He's 24. Conversations between us flow nicely; we have a similar sense of humor and general outlook on life. He seems to be very ultimate-commitment-minded (marriage, kids, the whole shabang), which I'm not so sure about myself, but it's clear he is looking for a LTR so we are compatible in that.

 

Hope that clears things up!

Edited December 30, 2010 by tigressA

[Crazy Magnet]

Thanks! It does!

 

When you hit double digits you're just going to have to add it to your signature or my head might explode. lol

[tigressA]

:lmao:

 

I'm not going to let it get that far, CM. If none of these guys come through then I'm going to take a break for awhile.

[tigressA]

Just got in from Date #2 with Guy #6. Again, really great time. We went to dinner; I had told him beforehand that whatever we do I'm picking up the tab for. Again, we lingered for quite awhile in my driveway. We did kiss, quite a bit. He's a very good kisser. The lead-in to the kiss was so adorably awkward. He's rather shy, and I can be too, so we were both at a stalemate for awhile. When we took a breather I said, "I should say goodnight now...if things go any further I think I'll cross the line into tease territory and I don't want to do that to you. 'Cause no clothes are coming off tonight!" He laughed and said, "Okay, that's good. It's good to wait." So we said goodnight.

 

I like him. :)

[northern_sky]

Could you give them cute little nicknames, so we can keep them straight? The number system is making my brain hurt.

[Star Gazer]

Could you give them cute little nicknames, so we can keep them straight? The number system is making my brain hurt.

 

Agreed. I need nicknames. Perhaps you have a F*ckface Firefighter III?

[tigressA]

Could you give them cute little nicknames, so we can keep them straight? The number system is making my brain hurt.

 

I was starting to work on that, actually. I'm thinking:

 

Guy #5: The Nerd. He's a PhD. student in biomedical engineering.

 

Guy #6: The Model. He's rather physically striking and two people I know have also noticed this.

 

Guy #7: The Jock. He's really into playing and watching sports.

[threebyfate]

The current selection spans three stereotypes so this is very equal opportunity of you, Tigress!

 

Now I'm wondering which one will eventually appeal to you more.

[Allisha]

Just got in from Date #2 with Guy #6. Again, really great time. We went to dinner; I had told him beforehand that whatever we do I'm picking up the tab for. Again, we lingered for quite awhile in my driveway. We did kiss, quite a bit. He's a very good kisser. The lead-in to the kiss was so adorably awkward. He's rather shy, and I can be too, so we were both at a stalemate for awhile. When we took a breather I said, "I should say goodnight now...if things go any further I think I'll cross the line into tease territory and I don't want to do that to you. 'Cause no clothes are coming off tonight!" He laughed and said, "Okay, that's good. It's good to wait." So we said goodnight.

 

I like him. :)

 

So, he's gorgeous, a good kisser & wants to wait before certain things happen?

 

I could NOT be more jealous.

 

Sounds like a keeper (so far)...

[tigressA]

The current selection spans three stereotypes so this is very equal opportunity of you, Tigress!

 

Now I'm wondering which one will eventually appeal to you more.

 

Me too. So far I would say The Nerd is the only one who fully embodies his nickname with regard to stereotyping. Like I said in an earlier post, he literally has been too focused on his studies to even go on a date, and he's rather shy. He told me that he may not be very talkative at first when we meet. That's fine with me because I can chatter on for England. As I said earlier, I feel we could complement each other.

 

The Model is quite good-looking but he's genuinely modest about it, and unlike the "dumb model" stereotype, he seems quite intelligent (he's studying physics, he's very well-traveled); we have great conversation and make each other laugh a lot. We go on and on about all sorts of things and the time just flies by. There's definite physical chemistry there too.

 

The Jock seems very family-oriented and romantic. He's complimentary in a cute, fun way--never cheesy. Our conversations are consistently pleasant and varied in tone, at turns deep and personal and then hilariously funny and lighthearted.

 

I interact with all three really well. The only things to be determined with The Nerd and The Jock are if that interaction translates well offline and there's physical attraction present.

 

The ONE thing that is bothering me somewhat about The Model: I found out when we were talking that he has a sexual history with his female best friend. She was his first and it happened within the last year. I've decided to proceed with a bit of caution here.

Edited December 30, 2010 by tigressA

[tigressA]

The Jock didn't call; so much for that.

 

I am talking to The Nerd right now...interesting development. He has a sport bike! Rather not nerdy of him. And the weather's going to be nice tomorrow, so that will be our mode of transportation for the day. I've never been on one of those or a motorcycle or whatever else before and I've always wanted to. I'm kind of nervous about it but I've got to start sometime, right?! This is going to be an exciting New Year's Eve!

[tigressA]

I am back from Date #1 with The Nerd. This is a bit of a long entry, as I spent over 24 hours with him.

 

When I met up with him at the station, I immediately noticed how much cuter he is in person--his pictures really did not do him justice. I felt a little nervous when we reached his sport bike and he handed me the extra helmet. He helped me put it on and he showed me how to get on behind him. I thought I was going to be clutching at him out of sheer terror but oh my goodness, it was so much fun! By the end of the second ride (we went to a nearby mall for lunch and a movie) I was converted, officially a sport bike groupie. I told him so and he laughed. We had a fun little battle over the check at lunch but I beat him to it. I said if he really wanted to he could cover everything else, and he said there was no question of that.

 

We went to see The Fighter (great movie!). We got to the theater a little early so we were just sitting in there alone talking until a few other people started trickling in. By the time we were out of the theater it was dark, so we headed back to his place. He has a studio apartment near the campus he attends. We had planned on going out again later, but then decided to just stay in. We ordered food, spent the night talking a lot and watching Family Guy on Netflix. We were both sitting on his reclining couch. When it was time for sleep he offered his bed to me, said he could sleep on the couch, but I insisted I was fine where I was.

 

We both woke up around the same time, freshened up. He made breakfast, we sat on the couch together again, talked some more. He took me back to the station and waited with me until my train came. We both did the requisite "had a really nice time" thing and hugged goodbye--only contact we had besides me holding onto him while on his bike.

 

I think things went rather well overall, but I really got a sense of just how shy he is. When we were at his place there were a few times when I felt like we were getting closer physically--subtle things--but then an instant later it was like it had been all in my head. I certainly wouldn't have done any more than kiss him. I was absolutely dying to kiss him for most of yesterday and all the time we spent today but his shyness made ME too shy to even try to make a move. I had no idea what to do. I felt like anything I could have done or said would've been too much and scared him. I think if we meet again it's going to be on me to make the move if I want anything to happen. Perhaps he'll feel more comfortable on a second date. I don't know yet if there will be a second date.

[LondonS]

haha- I always name them too

current 3 I am dating...

Mr Rugby

Mr Banker

Mr Pilot

[tigressA]

I had just been numbering them before, but it was too confusing for some people, so I assigned names.

 

Thinking a bit more about my date with The Nerd, we're...different. Very stark differences as far as life experience. He's very "sheltered"--he hadn't even started drinking alcohol until recently, has never been drunk, and I mentioned before that he's new to dating and everything else related to it. He's been in school his entire life; that's been his primary focus. While I've been in school much of my life too, I also garnered experience in other areas of life. I've had really fun, crazy times in high school and particularly college. Over the course of our correspondence and during our date I had told him some stories and he seemed a bit shocked...in person it seemed almost to the point of being put off.

 

I'm wondering if he might be a little too goody-goody for me.

[tigressA]

Update on things with The Nerd...we finished talking a little while ago about how things went and our impressions of each other. The gist is that we both have some reservations...while we're both looking for the same things out of a relationship, he is very straitlaced and conservative, while I'm not. Some of the things I told him did bother him, and he acknowledged that while he may be wrong, he may not be able to look past them. And of course, I don't want to date someone who can't look past certain things that I've done. We both readily acknowledged that we get along well, that the date was really fun, there's an attraction, and that we have a lot in common otherwise.

 

He wants to continue to talk and see what happens, but I told him I wasn't into that idea, that it's not my style to try to persuade someone to go out with me again. I said that ultimately, I knew I liked him and would want to see him again--and to let me know if he decides he feels the same; otherwise, good luck to him in his search. So that's that.

Edited January 3, 2011 by tigressA

[tigressA]

Having considered it more, I really don't think I would want to get involved with him further. The things I told him about (playing strip padiddle with friends, skinny-dipping, kissing girls--all brought up in context) were seriously like NOTHING to me, while they're a big dealbreaker-type-deal to him.

 

I did all those things while I was single; I'd never do them while in a relationship unless my SO was present and felt comfortable with it. But the fact that he acknowledged he was uncomfortable with me having already done them is not something I want to deal with. I think he is way too tightly wound for me. Unless he shows he can be okay with this stuff, and I highly doubt he can, then I am officially no longer interested.

 

I think it comes down to modesty at the end of the day...with regard to the things I shared, it would seem that I haven't been discriminatory in who I share my body with. Nonchalantly stripping in front of friends for a game or for a refreshing swim, to me, just means that I'm comfortable with my body. I like being naked. But to him it may mean that I don't see my body as something special enough to keep the sight of it without clothing strictly to myself and to the person I become romantically involved with.

Edited January 3, 2011 by tigressA

[amerikajin]

I think it comes down to modesty at the end of the day...with regard to the things I shared, it would seem that I haven't been discriminatory in who I share my body with. Nonchalantly stripping in front of friends for a game or for a refreshing swim, to me, just means that I'm comfortable with my body. I like being naked. But to him it may mean that I don't see my body as something special enough to keep the sight of it without clothing strictly to myself and to the person I become romantically involved with.

 

It comes down to differences in values (and I'm not disparaging yours, by the way), and more importantly, it comes down to perceptions of reality.

 

I think most people go through phases when they don't take themselves so seriously and they openly express their sexuality, but I find that, generally speaking, the desire to express one's self sexually fades over time. It's replaced by that nagging reality that there's a lot more to companionship than just strutting one's stuff. People need reliability and stability in a partner. I think you're giving him the impression that you're the opposite, which is that you could be impulsive (in his eyes).

 

If he's looking for someone to have a little fun to pass the time with, then I think he would be more comfortable around someone who occasionally engages in recreational nudity. But I think he's looking for something other than a little fun to pass idle time.

Edited January 3, 2011 by amerikajin

[tigressA]

People need reliability and stability in a partner. I think you're giving him the impression that you're the opposite, which is that you could be impulsive (in his eyes).

 

If he's looking for someone to have a little fun to pass the time with, then I think he would be more comfortable around someone who occasionally engages in recreational nudity. But I think he's looking for something other than a little fun to pass idle time.

 

I know what he's looking for. He's looking for a serious, long-term relationship, and I am too. I think you're right; I gave him the impression that I'm impulsive rather than reliable/stable. In our conversation last night he had assumed, I guess from things I had told him, that I was just looking for short-term fun, which isn't true.

 

It seems pretty clear it won't go any further than this, which is disappointing because we both acknowledged that we get along fantastically well, otherwise. What I said before about us being complementary to each other turned out to be very true. I got the impression that because of the positives, he wanted to think about it some more before making the ultimate decision, but I have a feeling his mind won't change.

Edited January 3, 2011 by tigressA

[amerikajin]

I know what he's looking for. He's looking for a serious, long-term relationship, and I am too. I think you're right; I gave him the impression that I'm impulsive rather than reliable/stable. In our conversation last night he had assumed, I guess from things I had told him, that I was just looking for short-term fun, which isn't true.

 

It seems pretty clear it won't go any further than this, which is disappointing because we both acknowledged that we get along fantastically well, otherwise. What I said before about us being complementary to each other turned out to be very true. I got the impression that because of the positives, he wanted to think about it some more before making the ultimate decision, but I have a feeling his mind won't change.

 

I can't speak for him or every guy, but I think that, on some level, some guys might feel a little insecure. People have imaginations, and sometimes they might use their imaginations in negative ways. He might be placing your behaviors in imagined contexts.