Author tigressA Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 Here's an update...I've written off Guy #3 since it's clear he's not interested enough in another date with me. Guy #1 is still in the picture, though I'm kind of wondering if I may end up in the friendzone--nothing beyond hugs and playful touching has happened between us after 2 dates. We've been in contact, though I'm not sure when I'll see him next because we're both busy this weekend and my holiday plans are still way up in the air--there's a possibility I'll be out of town from Christmas Eve until a couple days after New Year's. I have started corresponding with 3 other guys--two strictly via email and the other via IM. It's still early with them so no mention of meeting just yet. I'm intrigued by the one I've been corresponding with via IM. He's 28, PhD. student, and he's reeeeeally inexperienced. Probably the most inexperienced guy I've met so far. I've always been charmed by that type, and our conversations have been going very well. The drawback to that is that it may take a little more time than what I'm used to before I meet him.
JustJoe Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 IDK about guys #1 and #3, after two dates, I would be having a handfull of a$$ and b**bs, instead of "playful touching", but then, that's me.
Author tigressA Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 Joe! Guy #3 kissed me on our date, but since then he's been really aloof so I just wrote him off. Not enough interest. "I'll let you know when I'm free" = "I'm blowing you off." Well, another update...the guy I tentatively labeled #4, the one I've been corresponding with for a few weeks now but still have yet to meet, sent me a message. He finally asked me to get together for coffee next weekend...BUT there's a potential conflict there, since my holiday plans are still unknown. I may be going away that weekend and not coming back until Jan. 3rd. I'm going to tell him and say I'll let him know ASAP what my final plans are, and if I do go away I'll work out another time with him to meet.
Author tigressA Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 I decided I'm not going away for the holidays after all, and Guy #4 and I have coffee plans for after New Year's. Mr. No Experience, now Guy #5, asked me out for NYE when we were talking last night. Looks like I'm getting back into the swing of things.
BackUpOrGetStung Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Looks like I'm getting back into the swing of things. Looks to me, like that guy that cheated on you really ****ed your head up.
mitchell Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Mr. No Experience, now Guy #5, asked me out for NYE when we were talking last night. Looks like I'm getting back into the swing of things. Does Guy #5 know he's dealing with a Tigress?? Rrrroowwl!!!
Author tigressA Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 Does Guy #5 know he's dealing with a Tigress?? Rrrroowwl!!! He has some idea, as my username on the site makes reference to a different fierce feline. To hear him tell it he hasn't even been on a date before, much less done anything else. He doesn't seem awkward at all though; he's just been really focused on his studies. He seems pretty old-fashioned too. I think I'll have fun loosening him up a little.
mitchell Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I think I'll have fun loosening him up a little. Just don't hurt him!
Author tigressA Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) I think I'm going to lessen the contact with Guy #5 for right now. We've been having hours-long IM convos for the last several nights and while they've been nice I would rather leave something for the first date, if that makes sense. It looks like my holiday plans may have changed yet again; I will most likely be going away after all. If I do I'll be gone for about a week, so that will help. I'm going to keep the contact to every other day at the most. I'm not worried about the contact with Guy #4 since he's so busy in the first place he doesn't find a whole lot of spare time to be on the site--it says something about his interest in me that he does put in the effort to maintain a reasonable level of contact, which for me is every two or three days. He's super-keen about meeting up after the holidays; he was all :D:D the last time we talked. I'm pretty keen too, despite how long it's taken to even make plans to meet. I am writing off Guy #1...I really don't think he's interested in being more than friends with me. He rarely initiates contact, and that our physical contact after two dates was still pretty platonic says a lot to me, too. If he is actually interested, it certainly is not clear to me, and I think if he really were it would be clear to me. So he's off the map. Edited December 21, 2010 by tigressA
Author tigressA Posted December 23, 2010 Author Posted December 23, 2010 Now there is Guy #6. He sent me an IM on the site; we had a really long, fun conversation and he asked me out to dinner for next Tuesday. I have a feeling I'll get along with him very well. We had a lengthy discussion about fashion, of all things. He looks like he could be a model himself--he's pretty tall and lanky, with ice-blue eyes and cheekbones and shaggy hair. When we were talking music he sent me some YouTube clips of a couple of bands. He asked me if I liked the second band and I said I did. He said, "Well, they're having a concert in January...and well, if we went on a date and we liked each other we could go to that." It was pretty cute.
Author tigressA Posted December 23, 2010 Author Posted December 23, 2010 Ta i am guy#1, and don't you forget it!!! Of course, Joe! It's a given :love: I realized I haven't been in contact with Guy #4 in a few days...but this is normal. I noticed he visited my profile early this morning. We just keep missing each other on the site. I have no doubt we'll still be meeting. I'm going to leave this thread alone until after I actually go on another date. It's been just talk, talk, talk lately. Next Tuesday is Guy #6. NYE is Guy #5. Guy #4 is TBD--sometime after New Year's. I'm not entertaining any new options at this point. Three is enough.
Imajerk17 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 This is a really good thread for guys to read. RE Guy #1: He probably thinks you aren't that interested, Tigress. You were the one suggesting that you both bring friends, which usually indicates low interest. It shows that women aren't always aware of the impression they are giving off. Or sometimes, they will give off the impression of low interest once or twice and hope that the guy will plow through anyway. Tigress asking for the "friends included" date is a great example.
Author tigressA Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 It's not that simple, really...I had initiated contact with Guy #1 on several occasions after that, and even asked him out (for dinner); he said he already had plans, asked for a raincheck, but since then I heard not a peep from him. Maybe the second date killed things; I don't know. But I certainly didn't fail to make my interest known. Anyway, there's yet another possibility on the horizon. I got a message from a guy yesterday and I responded via IM last night; we had an interesting talk. He wants to keep in touch...though he probably shouldn't take his time on asking me out, since I have 3 dates coming up. I am officially done with exchanging long messages. I hate it! I was corresponding with two other guys via that medium, but I woke up today and was tired of it. I wrote both of them saying that I had met someone, wished them luck on their search. There are too many other guys who are eager about meeting me and take the initiative to ask me out early on for me to bother with writing paragraph upon paragraph for weeks to guys who for whatever reason are pussyfooting around. The early bird catches the worm, guys.
Imajerk17 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Makes sense with Guy #1. And I hope it didn't come across that I was picking on you, Tigress! I am getting a lot from your blog. So Guys #4 and 5 are history? I am taking away from this that "playing it cool" often backfires.
Author tigressA Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 (edited) Makes sense with Guy #1. And I hope it didn't come across that I was picking on you, Tigress! I am getting a lot from your blog. So Guys #4 and 5 are history? I am taking away from this that "playing it cool" often backfires. Oh no, it's fine! Just wanted to clarify. Guys #4 and 5 aren't the two I was corresponding with via private messages. I hadn't labeled them because I wasn't sure it was going to go anywhere with them, and I was right. I agree, playing it cool does often backfire. It's not that you have to ask to meet the very next day or even within a few days--though I've had a few instances of that. I would say definitely do not wait any longer than a week before asking to meet, though there are exceptions...I would wait for someone if I felt they had potential and our schedules were just really crazy, like with Guy #4. If I hadn't felt there was potential I would've written him off already. I am really clicking with #5 and 6 so far. I'm very excited about meeting both of them. #6 and I were watching Princess and the Frog "together" on Netflix last night and doing running commentary; he had me doubled over in laughter. And #5 and I have been having very interesting, deep convos--we relate to each other well. Edited December 26, 2010 by tigressA
Imajerk17 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 (edited) Thanks Tigress! I am actually really quick to take things off-line and get the in-person meet up. I will ask for a girl's phone number in my second or third email to her, depending on how responsive she seems. It is mostly after her first long email to me. As it usually is that I write her first, she writes me back, and then I write her again and so on, this is typically during my second or third email back. (If she hasn't opened up more in writing by her second email to me, chances are she won't write me back a third time.) Sometimes instead of asking for the number I will just suggest a potential meet up and set up the first date via email. As before, this is in my second or third email to her, depending on how responsive she seems. If I chat with the girl via IM and it goes well, I will ask for her number or perhaps make plans then and there. Just one IM conversation for me please. Although I can see how Guys #5 and #6 are doing a good job building up the anticipation. Reading what you wrote, I am starting to wonder if I am missing out by cutting to the chase so soon. Edited December 26, 2010 by Imajerk17
Author tigressA Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 (edited) I think what you're doing sounds good. Keep it up. With #5 I had made plans with him within the first 3 conversations, #6 within the first one, and so we're maintaining contact until we meet. I like keeping the conversation to every other day or so, but I actually was a little bummed when I didn't catch #5 on Friday night even though we talked Thursday. I do things differently with the phone. I don't exchange numbers with the guys until a few days before we meet, sometimes even the day before. It's just always been that way for me. If we're not meeting for another week or so, I prefer chatting online at least a few more times before exchanging numbers. I feel like that adds to the anticipation. It gives me something pretty major to be curious about for much of the time, and that's exciting for me. Edited December 26, 2010 by tigressA
Author tigressA Posted December 28, 2010 Author Posted December 28, 2010 Date #1 with Guy #6 is on in little more than an hour. I'm a little nervous; I always am with a new person, but I'm still pretty confident things will go well. I'm in a ditherspaz about what to wear, and it's comforting to know that he is too since we're both style-conscious. There is officially Guy #7--the one who I previously mentioned was on the horizon. We've been talking every day so far; last night he asked for my number and he called me earlier this afternoon on his way back from work. He asked me what my week looked like; I told him, he said something about possibly getting a drink on Thursday, he'd call, blah blah. I said sure. I'll see what happens with that.
BobSacamento Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I can never keep crap straight when I multi-date. I think it's a retention problem. I've found myself thinking something like this many times: "Was this the one who likes Italian food or Korean food...did I even ask her yet...s*** I guess we'll go for BBQ..."
Author tigressA Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 I can never keep crap straight when I multi-date. I think it's a retention problem. I've found myself thinking something like this many times: "Was this the one who likes Italian food or Korean food...did I even ask her yet...s*** I guess we'll go for BBQ..." Somehow, I haven't had any issues with it. *knock on wood* I got in a little while ago from Date #1 with Guy #6. It went really well! We went out to dinner. We were sitting in my driveway talking for a couple of hours afterward. It just flowed. I could feel pretty serious sparks between us. We just hugged when saying goodnight but I noticed how amazing he smelled and I felt the urge to go in for the kiss. I resisted, though. There were a few awkward silences when I could tell the feeling was "Will we or won't we?" but they passed quickly. I definitely want to see him again, and he said the same. Thursday I have a possible date with Guy #7, and Friday is my date with Guy #5.
JustJoe Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I stay away from this thread, because it makes me jealous. I have no right to be, but it does. Why? IDK maybe I'm stupid
Stonewall Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Thanks for sharing the multi-dating experience with us. How long have you been doing this for?
Author tigressA Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 It's been a month now, Stonewall. I'm in my second "round"...I'm hoping that it yields something worth pursuing, though if none of these guys pan out then I'm just going to take a complete break for awhile.
Stonewall Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 It's been a month now, Stonewall. I'm in my second "round"...I'm hoping that it yields something worth pursuing, though if none of these guys pan out then I'm just going to take a complete break for awhile. Dating multiple people at the same time would seem very hard and emotionally draining. I'm having a hard enough time with just dating one person.
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