tigressA Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Welcome to my multi-dating log! I have decided to plunge back into this practice in order to hopefully find that one person I want to build a meaningful relationship with. I ask you to please keep your opinions on multi-dating, pro or con, to yourself; this thread is not about that. I'm simply using this to write about my dates and invite feedback on them. Now, to start: I just got back from Date #1 with Guy #1. I had a lovely time! We went to a local bar and played a few games of pool (I won twice by default), then parked at a booth for food. I could hardly stop laughing the whole night. He is absolutely hilarious. Very sarcastic sense of humor, which I love. He was a gentleman and chose not to drink when he saw that I wasn't. We have some interests in common, like acting. He's done only screen acting and I've done only stage acting, so we traded stories. He has a dating/relationship blog--showed it to me on his phone--so we both like talking about that stuff in a general sense. He's 27 and is an indie film producer. He's a tad bit shorter than I am (5'6"), which is nice because I prefer guys close to my height. I usually never go for the blond, blue-eyed type, but he's very good-looking. He's Ukrainian, came to the states in the early 90s--fluent in the language, but no trace of an accent. He has a really nice voice. We hugged when he dropped me off and he said, "Let's do this again." He asked me about next weekend but I had to tell him I'm away until Saturday, so it's on me to let him know when I'm available. I definitely want to see him again. Tomorrow is Date #1 with Guy #2--we're having dinner at a hibachi place. Details post-date.
Jannah Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Sounds like you're enjoying yourself! Hibachi, yum.
SmileFace Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Have fun ,.Just remember what you are looking for and enjoy yourself. Try not to break to many hearts . :-) Ukrainian, yum.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Oooo, T, I love your international taste...
amerikajin Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Sorry but I can't keep my opinions on multi-dating to myself, although I have to say, I don't see any major breaches of etiquette - yet. But I don't see how you can reconcile the fact that you want to find that special someone on the one hand, yet you're going to go on multiple dates with multiple suitors on the other. Oh well, good luck. Sounds like you're having fun. Not trying to piss on your parade or anything.
Author tigressA Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Oooo, T, I love your international taste... I seem to find all the cute international boys...my date tomorrow is Turkish, 1st-generation American.
Author tigressA Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Okay, I have another date on Tuesday now. This guy's notable because I have the highest match percentage with him that I've ever seen so far on OKC at 98%. Several times during our conversations I felt like I was talking with myself.
Els Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Sounds great Rare find, the guy with a relationship blog... don't think I know a single male with one! Or maybe they just don't let people know..
xpaperxcutx Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I seem to find all the cute international boys...my date tomorrow is Turkish, 1st-generation American. Work it girl!
Author tigressA Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 (edited) Sounds great Rare find, the guy with a relationship blog... don't think I know a single male with one! Or maybe they just don't let people know.. I know; I was pretty surprised when I found out. Upon seeing my face he joked that everyone else responded that way too, like "F*ck, I'm gonna go flush your man card down the toilet now." He is so funny. We had gotten a little lost on our way to the bar and he was turning around in a suburban tract; we noticed someone out front in their yard fiddling with holiday lights. He said, "Should we ask for directions? Or maybe you could just roll down the window and yell 'For the love of G*d, somebody help me!' and I'll drive off real fast." :lmao: Edited November 28, 2010 by tigressA
welikeincrowds Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Okay, I have another date on Tuesday now. This guy's notable because I have the highest match percentage with him that I've ever seen so far on OKC at 98%. Several times during our conversations I felt like I was talking with myself.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 T I just want to point out that you should space your dates a little more. Back to back maybe a little too exhausting especially if you plan on balancing more than 2 men at once.
Author tigressA Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 T I just want to point out that you should space your dates a little more. Back to back maybe a little too exhausting especially if you plan on balancing more than 2 men at once. Hm, good point Paper. I don't see any issue with it now because they're first dates and my schedule is more free. After this week is over they'll be more spaced out due to my schedule being fuller. I'm good at keeping stories, etc, straight, and I'm keeping physical contact at a bare minimum (hugs) so I don't see myself feeling worn out or stressed over this.
LittleTiger Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 We had gotten a little lost on our way to the bar and he was turning around in a suburban tract; we noticed someone out front in their yard fiddling with holiday lights. He said, "Should we ask for directions? Or maybe you could just roll down the window and yell 'For the love of G*d, somebody help me!' and I'll drive off real fast." :lmao: You did ask for opinions on your dates and I'm glad you find this guy so funny - however, the bit I've highlighted is NOT funny! Smacks of immaturity IMO. Anyway, look forward to reading more - hope you have fun and find whatever/whoever it is you're looking for.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Hm, good point Paper. I don't see any issue with it now because they're first dates and my schedule is more free. After this week is over they'll be more spaced out due to my schedule being fuller. I'm good at keeping stories, etc, straight, and I'm keeping physical contact at a bare minimum (hugs) so I don't see myself feeling worn out or stressed over this. Usually by the 2nd to 3rd states, you're expected to be more responsive and available for the men to discern whether you're interested in them. As long as you know what you're doing, have fun.
LittleTiger Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 (edited) Usually by the 2nd to 3rd states, you're expected to be more responsive and available for the men to discern whether you're interested in them. As long as you know what you're doing, have fun. Is this another one of those dating 'rules' that was posted about recently? There should be no 'expectations' of anything physical from either person until they are both ready, regardless of which number date you are on. There are other ways of showing interest without making yourself responsive or available to sexual advances. Edited November 28, 2010 by LittleTiger
Author tigressA Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Is this another one of those dating 'rules' that was posted about recently? There should be no 'expectations' of anything physical from either person until they are both ready, regardless of which number date you are on. There are other ways of showing interest without making yourself responsive or available to sexual advances. Right. One reason I'm doing this is to practice restraint with regard to physical intimacy and focus on getting to know a guy, or in my case guys, outside of that. But by the time I've had all my first dates, I should be able to discern who's not totally jiving among them so I'll likely be making a cut, or even two. I won't wait to do that beyond the second dates.
Els Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Is this another one of those dating 'rules' that was posted about recently? There should be no 'expectations' of anything physical from either person until they are both ready, regardless of which number date you are on. There are other ways of showing interest without making yourself responsive or available to sexual advances. Yes, seconded. I can't ever imagine being 'available' on the second or third date, especially if both of you barely knew each other prior to the first one. It'd be almost like having sex with a stranger.
BobSacamento Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Is this another one of those dating 'rules' that was posted about recently? There should be no 'expectations' of anything physical from either person until they are both ready, regardless of which number date you are on. There are other ways of showing interest without making yourself responsive or available to sexual advances. I think what she means by "available" is if a guy calls for a second or third date the guy might be turned off if she is busy for the next 5 days or so. He might interpret that as she is hinting she is not interested.
Els Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Oh, true. Didn't think of that after seeing LT's response
Author tigressA Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 (edited) Yes, seconded. I can't ever imagine being 'available' on the second or third date, especially if both of you barely knew each other prior to the first one. It'd be almost like having sex with a stranger. I don't think Paper was talking about sex, though. When I read her post I immediately thought of kissing/making out. I'm not totally sure about those, even. I definitely won't be kissing on any first dates. Once I narrow them down, which won't happen until after Tuesday's date at the earliest, I'll be more comfortable with ratcheting up the intimacy to a degree, like a kiss here and there. Edit: Just saw Bob Sacamento's post. It likely is that, too. Though if I actually WERE busy for the next 5 days or so, if I were interested in seeing the guy again I would definitely offer up a day/days I know I would be free. If I wasn't interested I would tell them up-front. I believe in being forthright in dating, particularly in this circumstance. Edited November 28, 2010 by tigressA
LittleTiger Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I don't think Paper was talking about sex, though. When I read her post I immediately thought of kissing/making out. Kissing is one thing, 'making out' counts as sex since, as far as I'm aware, it can include pretty much any sexual contact stopping short of full intercourse....... but then I'm English so maybe I've misunderstood what 'making out' means. I think it's worth pointing that out because if you're intending to practise restraint with regards to physical intimacy, wouldn't that include petting - certainly heavy petting anyway?
Author tigressA Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 I think it's worth pointing that out because if you're intending to practise restraint with regards to physical intimacy, wouldn't that include petting - certainly heavy petting anyway? Oh yeah, of course. I plan to not go beyond a kiss here or there--if there's even any opportunity for it; I prefer to not make the first move when it comes to physical intimacy--until I've narrowed it down to one guy.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Is this another one of those dating 'rules' that was posted about recently? There should be no 'expectations' of anything physical from either person until they are both ready, regardless of which number date you are on. There are other ways of showing interest without making yourself responsive or available to sexual advances. No it's not a dating rule and I certainly was not referring to sex. I don't know if any of these guys know you're multidating or not, but if they click with you they wouldn't hesitate to arrange more future dates. That means you're going to have to be more responsive with getting in touch with them
xpaperxcutx Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I think what she means by "available" is if a guy calls for a second or third date the guy might be turned off if she is busy for the next 5 days or so. He might interpret that as she is hinting she is not interested. Bob, thank you.
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