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What if both are virgins?

joshuay5

By joshuay5
in General Relationship Discussion

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joshuay5 New Member

joshuay5

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I've been dating my girlfriend for about 5 months now and she's a virgin.

 

How do I make her feel comfortable when the right moment comes? She doesn't know I'm virgin too at the age of 23 and she's 21. I still haven't told her.

 

I will be telling her the truth, which hopefully she will understand. If she doesn't then it's her loss.

 

The big issue is how do I avoid messing up? I can't teach her but neither can she. Help

jimbo Established Member

jimbo

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I wouldn't tell her. Might put second thoughts or doubts in her head. Nothing worse when two people do not know what they are doing. If you do not know what to do, study some porn. Actually watch it, not get off to it. Learn the moves.

Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted (edited)
I wouldn't tell her. Might put second thoughts or doubts in her head. Nothing worse when two people do not know what they are doing. If you do not know what to do, study some porn. Actually watch it, not get off to it. Learn the moves.

 

I disagree completely.

 

1) What they do in porn and what YOU will do in the bedroom, especially if it's her first time, will be wildly different. I strongly recommend educational sites such as http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/fr_index.htm instead. That is one awesome site, and I used it lots when I was first exploring my own sexuality.

 

Tailored for you: http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/female_virginity_2.htm and http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/female_virginity_4.htm

 

2) Tell her. If she herself, being a virgin, thinks less of you for being a virgin, do you really want her?

Edited by Elswyth
SincereOnlineGuy Established Member

SincereOnlineGuy

Posted
Posted
I've been dating my girlfriend for about 5 months now and she's a virgin.

 

How do I make her feel comfortable when the right moment comes? She doesn't know I'm virgin too at the age of 23 and she's 21. I still haven't told her.

 

I will be telling her the truth, which hopefully she will understand. If she doesn't then it's her loss.

 

The big issue is how do I avoid messing up? I can't teach her but neither can she. Help

 

 

 

Tell her that you are a virgin... you need not be in a giant hurry to do so, as she doesn't need to find out by the 1st of the month, etc.

 

It is perfectly OK that two virgins are dating and imagining one day sharing their first times together.

 

SOME elements of porn will give you enough sense that you are in the right general zone, but 'real' intimate sex should find you a lot closer to one another than they tend to get in porn. (no room for camera shots is needed at home there)

 

 

Do your girlfriend the honor of letting her 'know' you as fully as possible and it is OK to tell her that you are somewhat tentative about the prospects of making your shared first times special.

 

It really is OK for you to be yourself, no matter who that is.

betamanlet Established Member

betamanlet

Posted
Posted
I've been dating my girlfriend for about 5 months now and she's a virgin.

 

How do I make her feel comfortable when the right moment comes? She doesn't know I'm virgin too at the age of 23 and she's 21. I still haven't told her.

 

I will be telling her the truth, which hopefully she will understand. If she doesn't then it's her loss.

 

The big issue is how do I avoid messing up? I can't teach her but neither can she. Help

Do not bring it up, at all.

 

All women, even virgins, EXPECT men to be experienced. If you perform poorly you can say she just excited you too much or something like that. Truth is this regard will get her to lose any and all respect for you. Just never bring up the subject.

betamanlet Established Member

betamanlet

Posted
Posted
I disagree completely.

 

1) What they do in porn and what YOU will do in the bedroom, especially if it's her first time, will be wildly different. I strongly recommend educational sites such as http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/fr_index.htm instead. That is one awesome site, and I used it lots when I was first exploring my own sexuality.

 

Tailored for you: http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/female_virginity_2.htm and http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/female_virginity_4.htm

 

2) Tell her. If she herself, being a virgin, thinks less of you for being a virgin, do you really want her?

 

 

The reality is that virtually every woman will hold against a man his inexperience, even if she is inexperienced herself. Men are expected to be experienced. That is life.

betamanlet Established Member

betamanlet

Posted
Posted
You really don't know much about women, do you?

Yes, women are banging down the doors for inexperienced virgins. They are so in demand :lmao:

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joshuay5 New Member

joshuay5

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I already told her yesterday and she doesn't mind. At least I didn't get ditched again. This is happened last year for telling a woman I was dating for 3 weeks the truth. With her it was different. There was a smile on her face.

 

I'm not into playing games nor keeping secrets. If this would have led to a break-up then it means she isn't the right woman. I have no time in staying with someone who doesn't accept me for who I am. If a woman wants a man that sleeps around then she can leave me at any time.

 

Neither of us are ready yet so we're nervous about our first time. She told me not to worry but I'm a bit worried about messing it up. I want to make it very special once she's ready and last long like I've seen in movies.

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joshuay5 New Member

joshuay5

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I strongly recommend educational sites such as http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/fr_index.htm instead. That is one awesome site, and I used it lots when I was first exploring my own sexuality.

 

Tailored for you: http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/female_virginity_2.htm and http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/female_virginity_4.htm

I will be reading those articles though I think I'll have some idea from rated R movies.

Tell her. If she herself, being a virgin, thinks less of you for being a virgin, do you really want her?
I would have be thanking God for not spending more time with an immature woman. Fortunately this wasn't the reaction. She knows it now and is alright with it.
Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted
The reality is that virtually every woman will hold against a man his inexperience, even if she is inexperienced herself. Men are expected to be experienced. That is life.

 

Wow. Then I mustn't be a woman, I suppose?

 

I will be reading those articles though I think I'll have some idea from rated R movies.

I would have be thanking God for not spending more time with an immature woman. Fortunately this wasn't the reaction. She knows it now and is alright with it.

 

Awesome :)

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