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Posted

At what point did you start spending important holidays with your SO rather than going back home?

 

My family is 900mi away and I have no family here. I see them about 1x/year. SO's family is a 4hr drive away and he seems them much more often. Is it reasonable for me to expect him to spend holidays like Thanksgiving with me instead of going to his family? ETA: He's not an only child either. They've got 3 kids.

 

Some background: We're 24 and 26, dated 14 months, in a committed relationship, blah blah. He's the closest person I have in this city. I could've spent it Thanksgiving with my church group I suppose but I haven't been much of a churchgoer lately so it would be rather uncomfortable to answer all the "Where have you been?" questions. My friends in this city are all coupled up.. no thanks on being a third wheel in their homes. I spent Thanksgiving by myself.. made my OWN bird!

Posted
Is it reasonable for me to expect him to spend holidays like Thanksgiving with me instead of going to his family?

 

No.. holidays are meant to be shared and sometimes you just have to go do something you don't like to but it isn't unreasonable to switch where you spend it each year..

 

What about you spending it with him and his family ?

Did he not invite you ?

 

I think he should have insisted that you both go to his family's.. after all you are his SO and you would be alone...

Thanksgiving is about spending time with family..

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Posted

I wasn't invited and so spending it with his family wasn't an option this year. Long story.

 

I guess we didn't talk about it beforehand either so it wasn't like I told him it'd upset me if he went. I didn't feel sad that I'd be by myself till the day before.

Posted
I wasn't invited and so spending it with his family wasn't an option this year. Long story.

 

I know you said it was a long story and I'm not asking that you elaborate but it seems maybe there is your answer..

 

If you are his GF then he should have asked you to go with him since he knew you would be alone.. if it was his family that didn't want you there then maybe he should have spent it with you instead of his family..

 

Really it has always been basically an unwritten rule in my life that if I'm in a relationship then we do the holidays together and go to my families or to hers...

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