sinkerswim Posted March 10, 2004 Posted March 10, 2004 My boyfriend/fiance, has always went in his cave whenever there was a major problem. That means like when his parents passed away...etc. He just didnt want to deal with it at the moment and closed himself off from alot of people. If we ever argued, it would take him a day to talk about it sometimes. Other times we would discuss it right then and there. But what is going on with us right now, that is what has me worried. He wanted his space because I am too controlling. We are together 8 years and yes I do believe this is a big problem that I had. But he knows I am going to get help now. Anyway, he told me 3.5 weeks ago (Valentines Day) he wouldnt leave me hanging, because he didnt know if he wanted to break up with me or not. He had 3 chances to break it off with me officially. Im not taking off this engagement ring unless he says so. Last I saw him was Feb 3rd. Im sure some of you have been following my saga. So you know that already. Anyway, if he has a hard time communicating and is a shy person in general...do you think I should try to contact him eventually? I keep thinking he is afraid to call me either way. Like, he wont want to admit he wants to see me. Or he doesnt want to tell me he wants to break up. And he knows this will be wrong either way and he would have a brother kick him in the a$$ for doing this to me regardless. If I dont hear from him by next weekend (the 20th) should I call just to see what is up?
moimeme Posted March 10, 2004 Posted March 10, 2004 You might as well call once and ask him what he plans. At least you'll know.
dario Posted March 11, 2004 Posted March 11, 2004 Talk to him. Write him a letter (?) Just express yourself to him...write him saying that you understand that he's a quiet/shy person and that you're willing to understand and exhibit patience....to a point. It might help him too to realise that he has to offer more in terms of communication and bridge the unease that this creates.
Author sinkerswim Posted March 18, 2004 Author Posted March 18, 2004 Well, I called him yesterday morning.. Probably not a good idea since he was getting ready for work. But I did call and I didnt want to hear what he said to me. He said "What do you want, Renee...Im getting ready for work" I said "I thought you forgot about me." he just said "I have to go...Im getting ready for work" So I said "Weve been together 8 years, Ive never lied to you Ive never cheated on you..why are you doing this to me?" He didnt answer. Just that he had to get ready for work. I said "Will I talk to you again?" and he said "I dont know" I told him I loved him and we say Bye. I called right back and asked if he had my new phone number and address and he said "Its around the house somewhere..I have to get ready for work, Renee" He was very cold. NOT the same guy I know and love. Normally he would be so above that. I am soooo hurt and confused. Its not like him. I have no closure. What do I do now? I have to tell him how i feel. I wrote this letter...but I probably wont send it for a good long time. I just dont know what to do. He never broke up with me, I wear his engagement ring. How do I get closure now? If he wont talk to me... HOW? I feel as if I dont know if its over. It sounded like it... but he never said it was. Everything that came from him was "I dont know" in the past month. He knows better than to do this. He knows better. After 8 years he owes me more than that. Im shocked that he did this. Shocked and at a loss for words. We shared sooo much together and have so many memories. Isnt he thinking of any of that? I cry every day. Im very depressed.
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