Internet Dating

[threebyfate]

I didn't really find a high percentage of women not ready for a relationship.

So it's you that's preventing relationships from happening? Aren't you an example of why Internet dating can be self-defeating?

[BobSacamento]

So it's you that's preventing relationships from happening? Aren't you an example of why Internet dating can be self-defeating?

 

Not exactly. Sometimes I didn't want to go further, sometimes they 't weren't interested in me before I made up my mind. It was many factors.

[threebyfate]

Not exactly. Sometimes I didn't want to go further, sometimes they 't weren't interested in me before I made up my mind. It was many factors.

Didn't you just post this which means there was only one that you wanted a relationship with?

 

Not yet. I think the reason for that is that so far I found 1 that I was very interested long-term but she was not ready.

 

And then this, which says that women wanted relationships with you:

 

I didn't really find a high percentage of women not ready for a relationship.

[BobSacamento]

Didn't you just post this which means there was only one that you wanted a relationship with?

 

And then this, which says that women wanted relationships with you:

 

That is correct.

[threebyfate]

That is correct.

So you dated 12 women of which only one did it for you enough to want to have a relationship with. You've openly admitted that there's some work you have to do to yourself.

 

11 women all thought they wanted relationships with you but you didn't feel they were right for you. So, doesn't this mean you're one of the statistics of individuals for the 11 women, that says that Internet dating is a lot of work with little return?

[BobSacamento]

So you dated 12 women of which only one did it for you enough to want to have a relationship with. You've openly admitted that there's some work you have to do to yourself.

 

11 women all thought they wanted relationships with you but you didn't feel they were right for you. So, doesn't this mean you're one of the statistics of individuals for the 11 women, that says that Internet dating is a lot of work with little return?

 

Nah. Not all 11 wanted relationships with me. Some rejected me outright, rejected me after a few dates before I could really get to know them or found someone else while multi-dating. To say it's complicated would be an understatement.

[daphne]

people are going to get more individuals who aren't ready for relationships but claim they are,

 

I've definitely seen this, and at one point in tthe past been this. I have also seen men who are "ready to take down my profile and start a relationship" like right now. Not sure which is worse.

[threebyfate]

I've definitely seen this, and at one point in tthe past been this. I have also seen men who are "ready to take down my profile and start a relationship" like right now. Not sure which is worse.

From reading what's been happening on LS about Internet dating, it appears it's not the place it used to be, when members like Art_Critic and sb129 found their spouses. It sounds like fertile ground for many "wish I was a" player of both genders.

[pandagirl]

As a person who has used internet dating site off-and-on for years, after my last breakup (with someone I met online), I've thrown my hat in.

 

I think by the sheer NUMBERS and possibilities of meeting people via online dating, there is the potential of meeting someone and having a relationship with them. I mean, you could go on 20 dates in a month if you wanted to.

 

But that's the thing, there is something horribly inorganic about this process to me. In a "normal" real-life setting, I think you give someone more of a chance, you get to know them, you go on dates, there aren't as many expectations. I think with online dating, people are very apt to dismiss something after one or two dates, because the chemistry "wasn't there," only to move on to the next person in queue. It's the "next" syndrome, if someone isn't perfect.

 

That being said, I *do* think online dating is great if you just want to date, and not looking for anything serious. That's how I met my most recent ex. After a long dry spell, I decided to get my toes wet in the dating pool again. I wasn't expected at all to fall in love, but I did. And I know for sure my ex wasn't either.

 

But then again, I think there's as much as a chance of meeting someone in a bar and falling in love, as there is on a dating site.

 

Just my own opinion!

Edited November 29, 2010 by pandagirl

[Stung]

So,this internet dating lark.Just been browsing. All the guys near to my age, look old enough to be my father. No dis-respect intended, I'm sure they're generally good guys- but they just don't float my boat!

I'm not into cradle-snatching either, so perhaps I'll just give up!

Probably be better when I actually can go out and meet REAL people again.

I think the guy I was getting to know isn't that interested and I'm not going to set myself up for a fall.

Seriously though, do people ever really get together from these dating sites ,or am I wasting time and energy?

 

I don't know about the pickings in your local area, but I think it's wise to remember that many, perhaps most, people look better in person than in photographs. Pictures don't capture vocal timber or twinkles in the eye, men especially tend to spend less time worrying about lighting or dressing their best for posterity, and very few people are truly photogenic.

 

Anyway, there are lots of pitfalls to internet dating, just as there are to any other form of dating and dealing with complicated human relationships. But I can tell you that I met my husband through an internet site, and two of my close friends met their SOs that way, too.

[tincanman99]

I think its just one more thing that separates people. Its one more symptom of how isolated society has become. It goes hand in hand with the endless texting and all these electronic communities where no one ever meets.

 

I did it a number of years ago and went out with about a dozen women over 3 months.

 

As someone else said, pictures dont do people justice. Everyone looks better in person.

 

It also makes it too impersonal and carves the people up by written characteristics which dont adequately describe a person. It doesnt show that 'je ne sais quoi' that makes a person charming.

 

On top of this you cant see the person and judge their body language.

 

A couple of other things, I think the number of men outnumber the women by a huge margin. I think in some cases its 3 to 1 depending on the area.

 

For the men, good luck standing out, for the women, good luck weeding out the freaks and psychos.

 

IMHO men need to grow a pair and if they see a woman they find attractive, they need to go for it. The worst thing she will do is say no. So what, move on to the next one.

 

You can tell within 5-10 minutes in person whether you will click with someone.

[Seamless74]

IMHO men need to grow a pair and if they see a woman they find attractive, they need to go for it. The worst thing she will do is say no. So what, move on to the next one.

 

^^^^+++1

 

I believe thats pretty much the solution to all of the problems of the male gender.. If we could all do that on command we would pretty much all be happier regardless of the outcome..

 

Online dating is lame... That being said i have tentatively thrown up a couple profiles havent decided to commit to putting pics up I really hate it to be honest... All the lol's and haha's and smilies and read and unread deleted. Its really a bad situation..

[SunsetRed]

So far, I have not enjoyed dating online. It's akward having your first meet and first date be on the same encounter and so far the guys I've met have been very goal and agenda oriented about meeting me.

 

At least they are being upfront, but I don't appreciate being told that sex or being in a relationship are the requirements for our meeting.

 

I've only met a couple of guys though and there are millions on the site, so I'm going to meet some other guys before I give up.

 

I view online dating as a way to increase your chances of meeting people, not as a way to get laid or have an instant bf/gf. My profile states that I am looking to meet people and make new friends.

 

I've been told on this forum and on the POF forum that men join dating sites to either get laid or have a relationship. There's no gray area of simply meeting and forming a friendship first. This has been my experience so far although I'm still hoping to find the guy who is not desperate to get laid or have a gf to fill a void in his life.

[pandagirl]

I've been told on this forum and on the POF forum that men join dating sites to either get laid or have a relationship. There's no gray area of simply meeting and forming a friendship first. This has been my experience so far although I'm still hoping to find the guy who is not desperate to get laid or have a gf to fill a void in his life.

 

This is the problem. I feel like there is no "getting to know" you period because of this.

[Tim The Enchanter]

I've been told on this forum and on the POF forum that men join dating sites to either get laid or have a relationship. There's no gray area of simply meeting and forming a friendship first. This has been my experience so far although I'm still hoping to find the guy who is not desperate to get laid or have a gf to fill a void in his life.

 

That's because POF is a free site and therefore open to any Tom, Dick or Harry. It bemuses me when people criticise internet dating, and there only experience of it is free sites. Trust me, there is a big difference. I'm not saying you won't get losers on places like Match, but the fact that you have to subscribe in order to send messages helps to weed out the freeloaders.

[USCGAviator]

Yeah I don't know what the deal is on POF. I have great luck meeting in person so I know its not me. However just getting them to talk to you on POF is like pulling teeth.

 

I'm not sure what women in my area are looking for but apparently I'm not it lol. Probably the divorced with kids "baggage" stigma doesn't appeal to online women.

[Tim The Enchanter]

Yeah I don't know what the deal is on POF. I have great luck meeting in person so I know its not me. However just getting them to talk to you on POF is like pulling teeth.

 

As I said, it's the freeloaders who fill up that site that make it so frustrating. It's so dispiriting to keep seeing "read deleted" in your "sent" mailbox. Women on there get absolutely deluged with emails; more so than on paid sites because any idiot can make a profile on POF. Even if you're a good looking guy, the odds are stacked against you.

[alexlakeman]

Yes, there are many girls and guys online "just to get laid"; supply & demand. Then there also people on their, guys / girls, who are on there for dating and even ltr.

 

Let me give you an example; me last month. I was talking to a Brazilian woman, 36-37, we clicked, decided to meet on a Fri for HH. Well, within two hours, maybe three we were making out . We closed that bar down. At that point I did not invite her to my place, although I could've; what would be the worse that could've happened? That she would of said NO ?

 

Anyway, neither wanted the night to end, so she says "Let's go to this other bar I want to show you". We get there and shut that place down.

 

Still with me? Yeah it was a long 1st date lol.

 

She says follow me home, I don't want to walk through the parking lot alone so late. We ended up having sex in her vehicle. Wow, awsome! We haven't gone out since, and we've only talked 2-3 times (mostly her calling me).

 

Wait it was only oral, even thought she was 1/2 undressed, so I know you women "don't count that as sex" lol

 

I guess I was a good one night stand. Last time we talked a wk ago, she said she's been very busy but wants to see me again.

 

So you see I could say now "all" women on line are looking 4 just sex". Just like some women talk about guys. I certainly asn't going to say NO on the first date! LoL

 

She probably did the norm for women the next day and " blamed it on the alcohol" . Lol

[Tim The Enchanter]

Thanks for sharing that with us.