worlybear Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 So,this internet dating lark.Just been browsing. All the guys near to my age, look old enough to be my father. No dis-respect intended, I'm sure they're generally good guys- but they just don't float my boat! I'm not into cradle-snatching either, so perhaps I'll just give up! Probably be better when I actually can go out and meet REAL people again. I think the guy I was getting to know isn't that interested and I'm not going to set myself up for a fall. Seriously though, do people ever really get together from these dating sites ,or am I wasting time and energy?
BobSacamento Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 Over about 2 years on and off I've met and been on dates about 12 women. Totally worth it. You can't go into it with ridiculous expectations. It is just another tool to meet more people.
SignalFlare Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 Over about 2 years on and off I've met and been on dates about 12 women. Totally worth it. You can't go into it with ridiculous expectations. It is just another tool to meet more people. Exactly. Internet dating just gives you access to more people. I don't see how that can be a bad thing! I heard something like 1/4 of all married couples met online.
daphne Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 Off the top of my head I know 2 married couples and 2 engaged couples who met online that would have otherwise probably never met. Like the last poster mentioned, it's just another tool. I think if you expect to find perfect you may be disappointed. But that can be difficult to find in the real world as well.
threebyfate Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Not a believer in Internet dating sites. Although not fool-proof, real life is a better way to figure people out since you have full view of their body language, facial expression and diction, where it's easy to gauge in less than a minute, whether physical chemistry is there or not. To be fair, with I-dating, you get access to a lot more people. When this happens, you also end up wasting that much more time weeding out people who are just messing around or aren't compatible.
LittleTiger Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I've made no secret of the fact that I met my wonderful man online. Without the internet we'd never have met - small matter of 12,000 miles! I had no real expectations and then, all of a sudden, there he was.
BobSacamento Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Not a believer in Internet dating sites. Although not fool-proof, real life is a better way to figure people out since you have full view of their body language, facial expression and diction, where it's easy to gauge in less than a minute, whether physical chemistry is there or not. Eventually you do meet the person in real life. I usually set up a coffee met to figure out the chemistry. Maybe I go about it a different way.
threebyfate Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Eventually you do meet the person in real life. I usually set up a coffee met to figure out the chemistry. Maybe I go about it a different way.Bob, are you or were you looking for someone long-term?
yah Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Funny, I am the type of person you'd never expect to go on internet dating websites. Well, one day I did and a week later met one person for a date. We're still going out now, 14 months later. That said, I'd NEVER do it again!! Too scary. lol Yeah, I don't know of any couples who met online.
daphne Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Eventually you do meet the person in real life. I usually set up a coffee met to figure out the chemistry. Maybe I go about it a different way. I think this is the best route. Spares both of you the lengthy written courtship and expectations when you don't even know if you have chemistry.
BobSacamento Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Bob, are you or were you looking for someone long-term? Yes I am......(Too Short)
Cee Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Most people who I know have done pretty well with online dating in terms of dating and short term relationships. One person I know found the love of his life on Match and they are living together. I only know one person who has failed completely, but I think his expectations were completely out of whack. As others have said, it's a tool. Online dating has its drawbacks, but having a sense of humor about oneself can smooth those problems.
green_tea Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 It has not worked for me at all. I have dabbled in it for the last few years, but did not get contacts from anyone that I actually wanted to go out and meet, except for one - and then he turned out to look completely different from his photos. That was the last straw for me, I found it all too much work. Am happier to meet someone in real life now where I can gauge whether there is any attraction before investing any time. Glad to hear that there are some people that it has worked for though.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I always filter. I look for a combination of looks and smarts. I can't have one without the other.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I swear by internet dating (and sometimes swear at it) but it has been a source of elation and frustration over the years. Mostly frustration.
ConstantCraving Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 (edited) I met my last long term girlfriend online. In fact, ALL the women I have dated since 2003 I have met online. The idea of hanging out in a bar or club with a bunch of drunken idiots on the remote chance of meeting a nice woman doesn't appeal to me. Likewise, my working enviroments have never been conducive to meeting women. I also have to laugh at the stupid idea of taking a night class at the local further education establishment on the remote chance of meeting someone. I feel sorry for the poor saps who teach those classes. All their unmarried students are looking to hook up. They don't give a **** about carpentry or learning French. Do the students all leave after the first lesson when they don't meet someone? Edited November 28, 2010 by ConstantCraving poor grammar
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I met my last long term girlfriend online. In fact, ALL the women I have dated since 2003 I have met online. The idea of hanging out in a bar or club with a bunch of drunken idiots on the remote chance of meeting a nice woman doesn't appeal to me. Likewise, my working enviroments have never been conducive to meeting women. I also have to laugh at the stupid idea of taking a night class at the local further education establishment on the remote chance of meeting someone. I feel sorry for the poor saps who teach those classes. All their unmarried students are looking to hook up. They don't give a **** about carpentry or learning French. Do the students all leave after the first lesson when they don't meet someone? 2003? Blimey, and I thought I was a veteran from starting in 2007! I'm like you, though. All but one of the dates I've had since 2007 has been via online dating, and I met my last girlfriend on match. Completely agree about classes being a crap way to meet women. You know from day one whether there is anyone there you fancy, so if you're just there for that purpose you are screwed.
threebyfate Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Yes I am......(Too Short)So, in two years with a massive catalog of women where you've dated 12 of them, have you found a long-term relationship yet?
irc333 Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 It is just another tool to meet more people. That is, if you can EVER get them to meet you in person...that's a feat itself.
alexlakeman Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 For those that it has worked, they will say it's great, myself included! For those that haven't made it work for them; they will say "it su.cks, better to meet people in real life. BUT you rarely hear these people saying, " ii hate online dating, BUT I met a great guy / girl through another avenue, not online. Bottom line is that they probably s.uck at dating weather online, in person, at a bar, at a family function, or if they put them right in front of them. Now that some veterans cam out of closet, I'll spill my beans too lol .last 8 yrs (so 2002) when I got divorced all BUT 2 women I have met online. The first two I met back in they day when we had no high speed internet and AOL chat rooms was the hot spot, lol. Actually 3 relationships. One was 6 moths The next turned out psycho, wiped me out financially, together 9 months. I posted a life long restaining order on her lol. Next one was also aol, and it was a 3 year relationship The last online relationship ended in 3/10 and it was wonderful. 2Q10 dated... Forget it I just realized I skipped one or two online relationships that were great. I mean "met" online. In the last 3-4 months I have gone on about 15 first dates, one 1 mth relationship. Now I have 3 candidates on the table for 1st dates this week and will weed down to one, since x-mas is coming up. I still have a few emails I have stopped comunicating with on other prospects as well. The way I do it is - prefer to talk on the phone for a week or so and see if there is chemistry, do we have things in common, does she like texting, etc. That weeds out some candidates; it's like the phone interview. Then I just have less first dates. At this point some times I am the dumper and at times I am the dumpee. Just focus on each person you comunicate with, don't setl unreasonable candidates,etc. Good luck Ps this was typed on my BB, so if typos, I'm sorry lol
alexlakeman Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 That is, if you can EVER get them to meet you in person...that's a feat itself. No different than if you meet someone on a first date and they give you a fake #. Why aren't the phone calls turning into first dates or why aren't you able to close the deal ? Just post it, someone my try to help. By the way, maybe it's the age? And works better for older people? I'm 45 and date 29-46.
alexlakeman Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 So, in two years with a massive catalog of women where you've dated 12 of them, have you found a long-term relationship yet? It could happen! Just last night I was updating my spreadsheet, and pics, and in my case I've gone out on about 6-8 first dates in the last 2 months and non turned into 2nd relationships. Two decided not to go forward and the rest I was the dumper.
BobSacamento Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 So, in two years with a massive catalog of women where you've dated 12 of them, have you found a long-term relationship yet? Not yet. I think the reason for that is that so far I found 1 that I was very interested long-term but she was not ready. The other reason is because I'm working on issues with being superficial.
threebyfate Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 It could happen! Just last night I was updating my spreadsheet, and pics, and in my case I've gone out on about 6-8 first dates in the last 2 months and non turned into 2nd relationships. Two decided not to go forward and the rest I was the dumper.It could also happen in real life rather than catalogue shopping, real life where you get to instantly gauge body language and facial expressions. Not too many people are good at controlling both. Not yet. I think the reason for that is that so far I found 1 that I was very interested long-term but she was not ready. The other reason is because I'm working on issues with being superficial.In this one instance out of 12, neither was honestly ready for a relationship. While in real life this happens too, I think it's much easier to hide these issues behind a monitor. Also, considering the amount of selection from Internet dating, people are going to get more individuals who aren't ready for relationships but claim they are, even though the net percentage between online dating and real life meetings might be similar. Just more individuals to wade through hence more ways to distort mind set towards dating in general or opposite gender biases. Once again, this is solely my opinion about online dating.
BobSacamento Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 In this one instance out of 12, neither was honestly ready for a relationship. While in real life this happens too, I think it's much easier to hide these issues behind a monitor. Also, considering the amount of selection from Internet dating, people are going to get more individuals who aren't ready for relationships but claim they are, even though the net percentage between online dating and real life meetings might be similar. Just more individuals to wade through hence more ways to distort mind set towards dating in general or opposite gender biases. Once again, this is solely my opinion about online dating. I didn't really find a high percentage of women not ready for a relationship.
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