She dropped me like ahot potato!

[nabo13]

Well I was in a one year relationship with a woman who was 17 years older than me. she was tring hard to get in a serious relationship with me but I told her we can't have something because the age gap is big.

 

It was a friend with benefit relationship and she was my best friend. After that year, I moved far away but we kept the relationship, we were talking on the phone and texting for 3 months. Then my friend met a guy who is 11 years younger than her.

 

She broke up with me through a text message because of him. Her text was saying "I found somebody take care". Then I texted her back saying that I didn't ask her to tell me that stuff and why are you telling this? because I thought we just have a friendship and wasn't trying to know about her personal life. She texted back saying it is because her new bf doesn't want her to talk to ex lovers. Then I said I am just a friend and asked her if she wants me to delete her phone number? She said yes and asked me not to reply to her message. All that stuff happened when I was at work. It is like she is a different person because she was acting cold but she was so caring and affectionate during our relationship. I got mad, then called her, he pick up the phone, I talk to her briefly, I reminded her that she wanted to be my friend even if she gets in a serious relationship, she ends the conversation by saying that she has to go.

 

I kept trying to talk to her, she told me through text messages that she doesn't want to lose her man which is just a lame excuse for not talking to me on the phone. I tried to talk to her by keep calling her for a week or so then I stopped and left her alone. I guess she fell in love with that guy who she just met. She ended it in a real cold way, and she is the one who was showing a lot of emotions toward me and saying that she loved me. I guess she feels guilty of what she has done to me and she can't face me because she wants her new life.

 

Maybe that guy is controlling and insecure. I am just mad because she ended it in an impersonal way through a text message which shows that she doesn't care about me. All the sudden turned to a cold turkey when she found somebody. I dunno if her relationship with the new guy is gonna work out because most older woman/younger guy don't work out and he seems insecure and controlling just a guess from what she is saying. She showed that she is heartless and dropped me like a hot potato.

 

I wanted to break up with her before because I felt she wants to be a gf not just a friend but she was so persistent and didn't want to lose my friendship, she was actually stalking me by keep calling and texting me to keep the relationship going. I kept it because I cared about her and wanted to have a close friend. I wasn't planning to be insensitive to her feelings if I found somebody else like what she did.

 

One time I asked her do you get depressed and sad when you loose a loved one like a bf? because I felt she acted indifferent when our relationship was rocky and she was cheated on by an ex bf. Her reply was no because she said that she learned when she was young she learned to let the bad feelings go because they are poisonus. It is like she is different than most people because it is normal to hurt after a break up.

 

It seems like she intended to hurt me because she told me to deal with my feelings in one of her texts. She showed that she cared a lot about me and she was my friend for 15 months. Anyway, I was going to minimize my contacts with her when she tells me that she met somebody. At the end of our relationship, I was just replying to her calls and texts, I didn't want to lead her on because I always felt she wanted more than just a friendship. I was just offering a listening ear and just acting as a friend by trying to give her advices. I guess she deleted all my contact informations which means that she doesn't want to hear from me again. Anyway, I left her alone and didn't contact her for the last 6 weeks

 

I just want to know why was she insensitive regarding my feelings. And why she refused to have a closure conversation with me? and tell me about her new situation. She just communicated with me through text messages which is so diserpectful after I talked her briefly on the phone when she broke it off with me.

[ConstantCraving]

That's a rough situation and I can relate to it because I've had a similar experience with a vauge, non-commital, evasive and insensitive older woman myself.

 

Some women just take a perverse thrill from messing with a guy's head and heart.

 

The only way to stop yourself from being treated badly is to INSIST on being treated with respect and consideration.

 

If a woman can't give you that, then wave "BYE BYE".

[a_woman]

breakup? It sounds like you kept insisting you were friends only, she tried to make it work for a while, you didn't budge so she went and found someone who wasn't bothered by the age gap. Why the drama? You had your chance. You snooze, you lose.

[Don_da_Ho]

LOL. You tell her she's too old, but you'll be FWB. Then when she meets a guy that wants a relationship with, you suddenly pull this BS "friend" card. Bro, you weren't friends really, you were just bed buddies passing time until one of you found someone they wanted to be with. You just can't stand the thought that she dumped you and did it by text. Leave her alone. You don't need "closure" that word is just a bunch of BS for someone that is butthurt. If you're really a "friend" you will respect her wishes, not be selfish, not be a stalker and leave her alone as she asked.

[nabo13]

Well we were friends. I moved, the sex stopped between us and we kept the relationship going for 3 months. My preference is to date somebody my age and she has her preferences too, she likes younger guys, I was honest with her. She could left the relationship long time ago if she wasn't happy just keeping it on the friendship level without taking it any further. I didn't force her to stay my friend. Plus she used to stalk me to keep being my friend when I told her or felt that she is looking to be more than a friend. For sure, she needs to repect the time we spent together, call me and let me know about her decision in a nice way. I would be mad for losing a friend because we used to talk on the phone every week and I wont be able to be her friend anymore. I would understand her decision if she wants to focus on her new relationship and stop talking to me because she may still have feelings for me but I don't think so and she can't be my friend at the moment.

[Don_da_Ho]

Respect the time you had together and call you? WTF? That's laughable. Bro, she met someone else and dumped you including your friendship. She doesn't want you in the pic because of her new man. You should respect that and move on.

[durkadurka]

Respect the time you had together and call you? WTF? That's laughable. Bro, she met someone else and dumped you including your friendship. She doesn't want you in the pic because of her new man. You should respect that and move on.

 

QFT.

 

Also, any girl that drops you like a hot potato without any grace actually doesn't really give a **** about being friends with you afterward.

[nabo13]

Ok you guys mean that I should dropped her when I moved out because I don't get sex anymore from her. Just use her for sex then dump her when the sex stops. She is the one that she used to say that she likes to stay my friend forever and all that bs not me. She gave me the impression that she cares a lot about our friendship then she turned to a cold bitch. That is why I got mad.

[AlisaMarie]

Ok, here's my take on this... from a girl's perspective:

 

You had an older woman giving it to you good. You knew that this couldn't be serious because she was that much older and that **** just doesn't work out. But you loved her dearly as a friend and made that very clear to her.

 

SHE on the other hand... probably thought the sex was more than FWB. Us girls attach more emotion to sex that most guys do. Did you tell her you loved her???

 

You keep saying she broke up with you... but how do you break up with someone you're only friends with? You mean she broke your "friendship" off. I think this is where people are getting your story confused.

 

Since she had an emotional attachment to you... the sex was enough to fulfill her needs... but once she found someone to give her both... (a relationship and sex... a commitment) she HAD to get you out of the picture.

 

You see? She didn't end her friendship with you... she severed ties because she wanted more than you could offer her. Period. Let it go. Most girls just don't work like that. Esp 30+... I don't know, just what I think.

[nabo13]

Good answer, you got it right. She broke off the friendship with me. It is just she didn't call me and explained her situation to me. Our relationship was intense, we were close friends. I just wanted her to say to me what you said regarding that she found somebody who wants to be committed to her and wants to be in a serious relationship with her and she wants me to get out of the picture and sever ties. It is hard because she was so cold and didn't respect our friendship. Ending a relationship should be always done in a more personal way. I mean how do you feel if your boss sent you an e-mail telling you that you got fired. I would understand her situation that her new bf is a jealous person and she wants to protect her relationship. By ending it this way she gave me the impression like she has some negative feelings toward me.

[Don_da_Ho]

She sent you a text and told you that she met someone and for you to take care. You have your answer. You're just butthurt because she dumped your "friendship". All is fair in love and war. Like we have all said: you decided she was too old; you decided she wasn't what you wanted; you decided it should be FWB. Then when she meets someone and she finds what she was looking for, you call "foul". Too funny. Oh! But she was too insensitive to your feelings! Maybe you should contact her and tell her you just really want to continue with the way things were with the two of you and she should dump her new guy.

[Am4Real]

Well I was in a one year relationship with a woman who was 17 years older than me. .

 

17 years....seriously....I hope you're older than 16 or there might be legal troubles besides all the drama you've described. LOL

[nabo13]

Well I would call if I want to dump somebody and give an explanation, she is just a coward. Yeah she is old, I mean I didn't like to be seen in public with her. Plus I live far away now long distance. I mean we were just talking on the phone like once a week and texting in the last 3 months. There is no way for us to meet. It wasn't her decision, she has been told what to do. Her new bf is just a jealous person. I guess he is insecure, and has trust issues or trying to control her. I think he checks her text messages too. I just wasn't happy to lose a friend that's all. Yes I agree it is my mistake in the first place because I went after casual sex and didn't date properly but at least I had a lot of fun with her during that year. At the end, it was just a long distance friendship.

[Am4Real]

Well I would call if I want to dump somebody and give an explanation, she is just a coward. Yeah she is old, I mean I didn't like to be seen in public with her. Plus I live far away now long distance. I mean we were just talking on the phone like once a week and texting in the last 3 months. There is no way for us to meet. It wasn't her decision, she has been told what to do. Her new bf is just a jealous person. I guess he is insecure, and has trust issues or trying to control her. I think he checks her text messages too. I just wasn't happy to lose a friend that's all. Yes I agree it is my mistake in the first place because I went after casual sex and didn't date properly but at least I had a lot of fun with her during that year. At the end, it was just a long distance friendship.

 

Good - you realize now you were a BOY TOY and don't really care about her emotionally anyway. I think your real issue is she feels the same way about you and your being jealous knowing she has found a new "toy". Put your ego away and let her go -- she doesn't want you (as you did to her), move on!

[Don_da_Ho]

LOL. Are we still talking about this? LOL. You're just butt hurt because she cut you out of her life. Sounds like you were more emotionally attached than you think. So you wanted to continue being long distance pen pals? How cute. Bro man up and move on with your life.