MrNate Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Maybe guys out there need to learn from this...and learn how to be happy in life without a woman. One of the best things I've heard on this site in quite a while. If you're happy without one, it's inevitable that one will effortlessly walk into your life.
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 The average looking ones are still more likely to hit on men than the hot ones. And let's be honest; if you're a good looking guy, you can afford to wait for a woman to hit on you. Let's be honest, if you're a good looking guy, why wait? You can have your pick of who you want rather than waiting around for some girl to approach you. I've heard guys IRL calling unattractive girls who approach them 'desperate' and 'easy.' Actually, my guy friends often JOKE about girls initiating or doing the approaching if they do not find her attractive. With that said, if the girl is not too unattractive they have an, 'oh well, atleast I'll get laid' attitude.
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 yeah even the average looking women get hit on tons, so I don't know why you think they are going to start hitting on guys. Not sure what to tell you. Get over it? Agreed. You'd have to be a very unattractive woman to not get hit on at all.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I don't approach men because letting them approach me is the easiest way to know they are attracted and interested. If a guy's not, it will never work, so why bother? Also, for me, it feels like defying biology and instinct to approach a guy. Do I think I could learn to do it and maybe even get good at it? Sure. But I'm not a big believer in going against your nature.
Mad Max Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Let's be honest, if you're a good looking guy, why wait? You can have your pick of who you want rather than waiting around for some girl to approach you. Because you can get away with it. If someone doesn't want to approach you, there will be others that will. I've heard guys IRL calling unattractive girls who approach them 'desperate' and 'easy.' Actually, my guy friends often JOKE about girls initiating or doing the approaching if they do not find her attractive. With that said, if the girl is not too unattractive they have an, 'oh well, atleast I'll get laid' attitude. And women that have unattractive guys approach them call them creeps and stalkers.
Mad Max Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I don't approach men because letting them approach me is the easiest way to know they are attracted and interested. If a guy's not, it will never work, so why bother? Also, for me, it feels like defying biology and instinct to approach a guy. Do I think I could learn to do it and maybe even get good at it? Sure. But I'm not a big believer in going against your nature. Technically, women in power and making good money go against nature as well.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Technically, women in power and making good money go against nature as well. She said "for me." I believe she was speaking of her own nature and not for all womenkind.
Woggle Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 She said "for me." I believe she was speaking of her own nature and not for all womenkind. I do know what she meant and I hate to get on a rant again but I do notice how some women seem to pick and choose whatever is easiest for them when it comes to equality.
Mad Max Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 She said "for me." I believe she was speaking of her own nature and not for all womenkind. I only targeted one part of her post. I read most of the posts in the thread that got locked. I'm in no mood to argue.
Mad Max Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I do know what she meant and I hate to get on a rant again but I do notice how some women seem to pick and choose whatever is easiest for them when it comes to equality. ^^^This^^^
Hopeful30 Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Plain and unattractive women should change up their game, and not depend on their looks to attract people. You can be the ugliest girl in the room, but if you have a magnetic personality, people will still flock to you. She just needs to be smart and know what works for her, and what doesn't.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Technically, women in power and making good money go against nature as well. Sometimes it really does feel like I'm going against my nature by working so hard and putting so much of my focus on making money. I'm proving to be pretty good at it, but I think I'm even better operating in more traditional female capacities. It is very hard for me to be competitive and dominating in the way that you need to in business, but I summon courage, steel myself, and do what I need to do. When I found myself in the wake of my fourth serious relationship that didn't work out, at 32, I realized (with great pain and resistance) that it was time to wake up from the fairy tale and get real. Survival instincts kicked in, and I turned my focus to my own future -- a future that might not hold a good man with whom I can build a life.
Mad Max Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Sometimes it really does feel like I'm going against my nature by working so hard and putting so much of my focus on making money. I'm proving to be pretty good at it, but I think I'm even better operating in more traditional female capacities. But in many instances, remaining within your gender's capacities is counter-productive. It is very hard for me to be competitive and dominating in the way that you need to in business, but I summon courage, steel myself, and do what I need to do. That's all you can do. When I found myself in the wake of my fourth serious relationship that didn't work out, at 32, I realized (with great pain and resistance) that it was time to wake up from the fairy tale and get real. Survival instincts kicked in, and I turned my focus to my own future -- a future that might not hold a good man with whom I can build a life. Many young women think life is a fairy tale, in that Prince Charming will sweep them off their feet and ride into the night. Life doesn't work that way. I truly believe that very few things are hardwired into us. I believe the majority is social conditioning.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I do know what she meant and I hate to get on a rant again but I do notice how some women seem to pick and choose whatever is easiest for them when it comes to equality. Equality is not about behaving in exactly the same ways. It's about being free to behave however you want, without gender rules boxing you in to one of two sets of roles: pink or blue. Equality means a man is free to raise children at home or fix cars, and a woman is free to go to war or be a nurse. I know from experience that results are usually poor when female friends of mine approach men -- at least, they would be poor for someone like me, who wants a relationship as opposed to casual sex. Casual sex is all my female friends have gotten from approaching men. There IS still the generalized belief that women who approach men are desperate or easy. Women are not going to abruptly change their behavior (not approaching men to approaching all the time) overnight. The shift will be gradual.
Woggle Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I understand that but it doesn't always work that way. I approached my wife but she is the one that proposed to me and made most of the moves before we married so sometimes it does work out.
Mad Max Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I know from experience that results are usually poor when female friends of mine approach men -- at least, they would be poor for someone like me, who wants a relationship as opposed to casual sex. Casual sex is all my female friends have gotten from approaching men. I doubt they've approached enough men to determine whether the results are poor. It's easy to get rejected once or twice and say that it doesn't work. You also have to look at who you're approaching and how you're doing it. There IS still the generalized belief that women who approach men are desperate or easy. Women are not going to abruptly change their behavior (not approaching men to approaching all the time) overnight. The shift will be gradual. Women believe that, not men. The problem is many do not know how to do it properly.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I doubt they've approached enough men to determine whether the results are poor. It's easy to get rejected once or twice and say that it doesn't work. You also have to look at who you're approaching and how you're doing it. I have two friends in particular (both quite attractive ladies) who approach men about half the time. One of them has gotten involved with at least 6 or 7 guys she approached, and it never got to the level of anything meaningful. But when she dates guys who approach her, she has better results. Women believe that, not men. The problem is many do not know how to do it properly. Correct. I have basically no idea how to do it. It's a totally new thing for women! I have NEVER done it. I'm sure I would look like a complete idiot the first few... dozen times. haha Got any tips for us? What's the best way to approach a guy you fancy?
Woggle Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 If you want to attract a quality man just be natural and be friendly and easy to talk to. Don't try to act all extra sexy because that is what does attract the players.
Mad Max Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I have two friends in particular (both quite attractive ladies) who approach men about half the time. One of them has gotten involved with at least 6 or 7 guys she approached, and it never got to the level of anything meaningful. But when she dates guys who approach her, she has better results. I'm guessing she doesn't know how to do it properly. Naturally, her success rate would be close to 0. Correct. I have basically no idea how to do it. It's a totally new thing for women! I have NEVER done it. I'm sure I would look like a complete idiot the first few... dozen times. haha Got any tips for us? What's the best way to approach a guy you fancy? Walk up to him, introduce yourself, and start a conversation on just about anything. It can be about the damn weather for all it matters. Obviously, flirt as well. If he's reacting positively, suggest the two of you get together for coffee, dinner, etc. Whatever you do, don't approach a guy by grabbing his ass. It's not cool and most won't take too kindly to it. I've had it done to me and I didn't enjoy it one bit.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Many young women think life is a fairy tale, in that Prince Charming will sweep them off their feet and ride into the night. I never believed that, but I did see myself meeting a good guy who was a good match for me, and us working together to build a great life. And yes, I imagined that if we started a family, I devote myself to caring for the kids for at least a few years, while he worked to support the family financially, and/or ideally, we lived on our savings. That traditional model made sense to me. I truly believe that very few things are hardwired into us. I believe the majority is social conditioning. I think it's about 50/50. Cats are cats, birds are birds, and people are people.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Walk up to him, introduce yourself, and start a conversation on just about anything. It can be about the damn weather for all it matters. Obviously, flirt as well. If he's reacting positively, suggest the two of you get together for coffee, dinner, etc. Whatever you do, don't approach a guy by grabbing his ass. It's not cool and most won't take too kindly to it. I've had it done to me and I didn't enjoy it one bit. lol I know they didn't do that, because I have seen them in action, and they would never just grab a guy's butt! (I have definitely wanted to do this to some guys before, but I would not!) They do exactly what you described, it looks like to me. And though they try to arrange an actual date, the guy usually just pushes to go home together that night.
Mad Max Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 lol I know they didn't do that, because I have seen them in action, and they would never just grab a guy's butt! (I have definitely wanted to do this to some guys before, but I would not!) They do exactly what you described, it looks like to me. And though they try to arrange an actual date, the guy usually just pushes to go home together that night. No one has a 100% success rate. But I guess it's easier to do it once or twice and claim that men don't like it. It would be the same thing if I got rejected by a few women and claimed that women don't like to be approached.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 No one has a 100% success rate. But I guess it's easier to do it once or twice and claim that men don't like it. It would be the same thing if I got rejected by a few women and claimed that women don't like to be approached. I am willing to try it a few times and report back here. Maybe not right away, but eventually. I have nothing to lose. It might even be fun. Like I said, I have NEVER done it. But there's a first time for everything.
Cracker Jack Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Well, you come off as a pretty intelligent, kind person, Ruby. I'm sure if you decided to go the route of approaching, you wouldn't just come across sex-hungry guys who were only interested in taking you home. I mean, there are plenty of them out here, but there are also good men out here for you, too. Hell, approaching can be hard for many of us. I honestly suck at it, but I hope to stop sucking at it soon.
Mad Max Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I am willing to try it a few times and report back here. Maybe not right away, but eventually. I have nothing to lose. It might even be fun. Like I said, I have NEVER done it. But there's a first time for everything. You have literally nothing to lose. If it doesn't work out, you retreat, continue with your life, and wait until someone else comes along. If it does work out, you have a potential boyfriend/husband.
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