pandagirl Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I'm three months out of my break-up, and to those of you who saw me right after it happened, you saw how devastated I was. I would have killed for a second chance, but now? Not so much. What's changed? Well, basically it comes down to one thing: why would I want to be someone who let me go in the first place? I'll be honest, I still love him and miss him and think of him a lot. But I am only human, and in a way, it makes me feel good that I'm able to care about someone so much still. But I digress. Neither one of us was perfect in the relationship, but the difference is, I would have never given up on us or him. That's just the type of person I am. I don't think I will ever reconcile with the fact that he did. Loving someone is relatively easy, being in a relationship takes work. Our problems weren't anything any couple doesn't encounter over the course of a relationship. So, no, I don't want a second chance. If he called me up tonight and begged for me back, as much as I do love him, I would still say no. I don't like quitters.
starkissedd Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 i like this, although i dont feel it applies to my relationship. he gave up because he has too many stresses in his life (addict dad, raising his sister, taking care of his suicidal mom), he cant handle a relationship right now. although i wouldn't have given up, i can understand how he would have.
Author pandagirl Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 I guess my life had outside life stressors, too, like work, moving to a new city, etc. I don't know, I just feel that people should be able to cope within the realm of a relationship. I know sometimes life gets over-whelming, but you just don't give up on the person you are supposedly in love with.
starkissedd Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 true but different people handle things differently, i guess. although i feel like i wouldn't have given up, i will never know what its like to be in his shoes. i cant fault him for being imperfect, because I am just as bad.
reknown29 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I'm agreeing with pandagirl here. Its been two months for me andI still LOVE this girl to death. She constantly wants to see me while she is out dating other guys. I am yet to refuse her. I just cant say no. I try really hard to but I just cant not see her. I'm not sure what is going on in her head with so many mixed messages but she has hinted that she would get back with me. Thats its not completely out of the question. She does love me... Though, as stated above, this girl left me over some very basic realtionship arguments. We would bicker over how to cook things, leaving a towel on the floor etc. This was her reason for leaving and she was very cruel when she broke it off. I dont think I could get over this. Its almost like the more she wants me back the more I realize how I may ever be able to forgive her or trust her, etc. She broke my heart. It would be easier to forgive her if she stabbed me in the arm. For real. that would have healed by now... If she gets on her knees and begs and begs and feels really bad for how she ended it I may do it, but she is sooo stubborn that this would never happen. Its hard because I love this girl a lot but I am starting to love my self more as time goes on and I rebuild self esteem after it was shattered by her. I think low self esteem is necessary to get back with someone who broke your heart enough that you had to spend coutless hours on a forum just to get by day by day. Who wants to go on with life having low self esteem, no one. after being dumped it is probably best for oneself to go with the saying, 'it is better to be loved, than to love'. Build yourself back up, find someone new who loves you, but of course dont lead anyone on. Its a fine line.
Jdw_Icequeen Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 I guess my life had outside life stressors, too, like work, moving to a new city, etc. I don't know, I just feel that people should be able to cope within the realm of a relationship. I know sometimes life gets over-whelming, but you just don't give up on the person you are supposedly in love with. I can't wait till I am where you are! Where I won't accept him back he left saturday night. Wounds are fresh but completley agree HOW DARE THEY GIVE UP! I would never have done that to him or us! Are problems wern't even that bad. A person that can't take the heat of how relationships work SHOULD"NT bother with them to begin with! I at this point feel fooled and lied to. I told him from the beginning I didn't want a relationship because of my past. He hounded me and chased me until I finally let my gaurd down. A little over a yr! He gives up! I'm sorry I'm not miss perfect! But if you think your better then I am and can just leave so easily. Then it shows me you were fake from day one. So many promises from people are LIES! one thing I can't stand are liars! Heart felt love to all of you that are feeling literally sick and in pain! We don't deserve this we are not perfect but deserve to be treated with love and respect! Best regards Colorados love sick Icequeen..
Fufu Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 (edited) Second Chance? No way... I don't want to end up devestated again if again he pulls the same stunt "GIVE UP" Faced some conflicts, he rather leave and give up. Just because of we have personality differences, he don't see we are compatible (Thanks, after 3 years of relationship) I wouldn't love a selfish person. I wouldn't love a person who only expect his own happiness in the long run of the relationship and not willing to work hand in hand to resolve conflicts or problems. (he must be nuts to think that a compatible couple does not have conflicts and can work things out normally.) The most amazing 2 phrases he ever told me, "If I was an As*hole, I will come back and spend 3 months with you then break up with you next year before I go back to Australia." "I rather we break up now because of these reasons. If we break up because of cheating or Infidelity, it will even be more messy." (Which I felt that he might get distracted by other women and can't stay faithful) Edited November 27, 2010 by Fufu
Amandabanana6 Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 I'm three months out of my break-up, and to those of you who saw me right after it happened, you saw how devastated I was. I would have killed for a second chance, but now? Not so much. What's changed? Well, basically it comes down to one thing: why would I want to be someone who let me go in the first place? I'll be honest, I still love him and miss him and think of him a lot. But I am only human, and in a way, it makes me feel good that I'm able to care about someone so much still. But I digress. Neither one of us was perfect in the relationship, but the difference is, I would have never given up on us or him. That's just the type of person I am. I don't think I will ever reconcile with the fact that he did. Loving someone is relatively easy, being in a relationship takes work. Our problems weren't anything any couple doesn't encounter over the course of a relationship. So, no, I don't want a second chance. If he called me up tonight and begged for me back, as much as I do love him, I would still say no. I don't like quitters. I absolutely lovvvvvvvvvvvvvveee:love: this post. Every time I miss him I'm going to think of this "I would have never given up on us or him". He took the easy way out by running away from a fight.
cerridwen Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 Brilliantly said pandagirl. His giving up on us shocked, saddened, and enraged me. And yes, it's what's keeping me from wanting a second chance because he can't go back and change history. He gave up and left me standing there holding a bag with our future in it. Now I too have let it drop to the floor. Sadly but resolutely, I'm moving on.
nittanylion Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 I'm three months out of my break-up, and to those of you who saw me right after it happened, you saw how devastated I was. I would have killed for a second chance, but now? Not so much. What's changed? Well, basically it comes down to one thing: why would I want to be someone who let me go in the first place? I'll be honest, I still love him and miss him and think of him a lot. But I am only human, and in a way, it makes me feel good that I'm able to care about someone so much still. But I digress. Neither one of us was perfect in the relationship, but the difference is, I would have never given up on us or him. That's just the type of person I am. I don't think I will ever reconcile with the fact that he did. Loving someone is relatively easy, being in a relationship takes work. Our problems weren't anything any couple doesn't encounter over the course of a relationship. So, no, I don't want a second chance. If he called me up tonight and begged for me back, as much as I do love him, I would still say no. I don't like quitters. So bargain stage has past, anger stage has past, sad stage has past, and now you are in paradise " acceptance stage". Congratulation, you have made this far.
SmileyGirl Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!.... You sound just like me... and I think the hardest part to grasp my fingers around with the end of my five year relationship was that yes, we moved in together and yes, we KNEW it was going to be quite an adjustment and YES I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE HARD WORK. BUT... no matter WHAT I would have fought to the end!... because that's just how I am.. Cheers to all of us who would never give up when the going gets tough.. I promise you ALL we will one day find someone who will appreciate this characteristic about us in a relationship.
nittanylion Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 So bargain stage has past, anger stage has past, sad stage has past, and now you are in paradise " acceptance stage". Congratulation, you have made this far. Please moderator delete this post.
nittanylion Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 I'm three months out of my break-up, and to those of you who saw me right after it happened, you saw how devastated I was. I would have killed for a second chance, but now? Not so much. What's changed? Well, basically it comes down to one thing: why would I want to be someone who let me go in the first place? I'll be honest, I still love him and miss him and think of him a lot. But I am only human, and in a way, it makes me feel good that I'm able to care about someone so much still. But I digress. Neither one of us was perfect in the relationship, but the difference is, I would have never given up on us or him. That's just the type of person I am. I don't think I will ever reconcile with the fact that he did. Loving someone is relatively easy, being in a relationship takes work. Our problems weren't anything any couple doesn't encounter over the course of a relationship. So, no, I don't want a second chance. If he called me up tonight and begged for me back, as much as I do love him, I would still say no. I don't like quitters. So bargain stage has past, anger stage has past, sad stage has past, and now you are in paradise " acceptance stage". Congratulation, you have made this far. I wish i am single. I would swoop you up in a heart beat. I like a never die attitude or give up attitude in a girl like you.
Author pandagirl Posted November 27, 2010 Author Posted November 27, 2010 So bargain stage has past, anger stage has past, sad stage has past, and now you are in paradise " acceptance stage". Congratulation, you have made this far. I wish i am single. I would swoop you up in a heart beat. I like a never die attitude or give up attitude in a girl like you. Aw, thanks. I am a super loyal gal, and once I believe in someone, I will always believe in them. No matter what. To be honest, I think I am headed towards the "acceptance stage," but I still get sad and cry, though it's different now. I no longer "crave" him or really want him back, but I still miss him and what we had together. How can you not be sad over losing someone you love and shared so much with? The difference is, I know now I will be just fine and dandy without him. But like I said, yes, I "lost" him, but he also "lost" me. I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world, but I still believe I am special. I have a big heart that I chose to share with him. If he ever find a woman with half the heart I do, he'll be lucky.
bleeg Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 I'm three months out of my break-up, and to those of you who saw me right after it happened, you saw how devastated I was. I would have killed for a second chance, but now? Not so much. What's changed? Well, basically it comes down to one thing: why would I want to be someone who let me go in the first place? I'll be honest, I still love him and miss him and think of him a lot. But I am only human, and in a way, it makes me feel good that I'm able to care about someone so much still. But I digress. Neither one of us was perfect in the relationship, but the difference is, I would have never given up on us or him. That's just the type of person I am. I don't think I will ever reconcile with the fact that he did. Loving someone is relatively easy, being in a relationship takes work. Our problems weren't anything any couple doesn't encounter over the course of a relationship. So, no, I don't want a second chance. If he called me up tonight and begged for me back, as much as I do love him, I would still say no. I don't like quitters. What makes you think he'd call? HE broke up with YOU. I like the attitude though.
Author pandagirl Posted November 27, 2010 Author Posted November 27, 2010 What makes you think he'd call? HE broke up with YOU. I like the attitude though. I'm for sure not begging HIM back.
Ajax Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 Glad you're making such progress Panda. You've been through a lot and come a long way. I'm doing pretty well myself. I think about my ex less and less, and when I do it takes more effort just to remember her face and voice. It helps that I had a date last weekend and we're going out again tomorrow:)
circa66 Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 I am with ice queen. this woman pursued me over the course of a year. I went slowly and 6 months in I went all in with my love. She would tell me she loved me and i would say i love you more and she would reply, no you dont. She was a chameleon. I waited 45 years for a woman who had the same interests as me. it was round peg round hole. then she 'fell out of love" and decided a weeks later it was over. The break up was soo cruel. I have dated lots and never experienced the cruel hints and what not. I dont have closure and I dont know the truth other than there was a guy at the end and he may already be moved out for the next guy. All this has happened in the last 7 weeks. The lies and betrayal are horrible but not understanding is the worse. I wish soon i could say no way I would take her back. I am hoping i become that strong soon. I dont know how i could take her dumping me again
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