I want to send him a message

[tobydog]

telling him what a cruel bastard he is for not seeing his poorly son this week and that as he has shown no concern that he has effectively rescinded/ revoked all rights to take him whenever he feels like it. Which is not much. Hardly at all in the last 10 weeks. Would you?

[just_some_guy]

No, that's just being dramatic.

 

Try going N.C., for your own sanity.

[PegNosePete]

Don't sink to his level. Vent on here instead

[amy12344]

that kind of anger -- though COMPLETELY justified -- will not get you the results you want. In fact, it will only make things worse.

 

Vent here, and to your close friends, but don't send him that message.

[Surfer203]

I have learned that the anger towards your spouse does NOT help. I have been separated for 5 weeks now.. and the first 2 weeks were us fighting back and forth, at that stage she said "IT'S OVER- I WANT A DIVORCE" and now after we both cooled down and talked a bit she is saying that she was telling me that in defense of my anger.

[Gunny376]

The less said is the best said! Take a Fool's Advice!

[willowthewisp]

You want to send him a message? If he's also not paying his way, get a damm good solicitor and apply for child support, ancillary relief, seperation agreement etc. (You're in the UK right? You do not habe to serve divorce papers you can have a solicitor draw up a seperation agreement).

 

Go complete NC. You have made it clear he can see his son, he does not wnat to, his own mother has been contacting him asking why he doesn't want to see his own son, your anger (whilst justified) will not make any difference to him. As my counsellor said today, the acknowldgement of his wrong doing must come from him, nothing you can say or do will make him admit and apologise for his bad behaviour.

 

I know how horrible this all is. You desperately want to fins a way to make them see what they are doing, I'm still waiting for an aplogy nearly 2 years on. My counsellor assures me one day I will get that apology, I guess I will have to wait and see, but I am not going to put my life on hold and wait for it and neither should you.

 

It's really early days for you, be kind to yourself, but as difficult as it is you need to go NC.

Edited November 26, 2010 by willowthewisp

[goingstrong]

telling him what a cruel bastard he is for not seeing his poorly son this week and that as he has shown no concern that he has effectively rescinded/ revoked all rights to take him whenever he feels like it.

 

I wouldn't send that. It will have the exact opposite affect of what you want.

[tobydog]

You are all right, I didn't send it. x