Are you a good catch?

November 27, 2010

Her transparency was so apparent that it almost didn't seem worth mentioning, since it would have been like pointing out the obvious. I'm surprised by how generous some posters are being. *shrug*

November 27, 2010

SG, I'm going just point out that both you and Northern were the first to start throwing punches. And even after I apologized and tried to clarify what my intentions were, you continued to throw punches. That is fact and can be verified by anyone willing to scroll back and read all the posts in this thread. So my final stance is don't dish it out if you can't take it.

I think you and I must be reading two different threads. I actually did scroll through the thread, and there were five (5) people who intimated they thought you you were bragging and thought it was unattractive in the first page alone (40-posts-long page), and you didn't sling mud at any one of them. Then, even more posters continue on suggesting your bragging was unattractive, and yet again, you didn't sling mud at any of them. And this was all before Northern/Shadow or I said a word.

Nope, you waited until Northern/Shadow spoke up to start throwing punches, and they were pretty low blows. It's as though you didn't feel capable of picking on someone your own size?

As for "don't dish it out if you can't take it," you should take your own advice. You crucified Northern/Shadow, and yet you can't take a little bit of criticism about the way you presented yourself. Why is that, I wonder?

You've got nothing on me, but whatever punch you make, I assure you I can take the hit and handle it without getting vicious by attacking the vulnerable in order to defend myself. So keep sparring if you'd like, but I wouldn't recommend it. If you're familiar with boxing, you'd know that it takes a lot more energy to swing and miss than it does to make a connection.

And that is all I have left to say to you, Sweets.

Good. Don't want you to wear yourself out.

November 27, 2010

i am not a good catch.

i realize i have many good qualities, however, my emotional instability/unavailability negates them all in the sense that--until i can solve those problems--i will only hurt the men who date me, as i am unable to sincerely emotionally engage with them.

if and when i rid myself of this, i am sure i won't have problems finding dates. finding someone who i can love, however, well, that is a whole other story.

November 27, 2010

Ultimately, this is a forum and sometimes things get said wrong, or worded poorly, or taken wrong. It's the way of things, I suppose. I'm not worried about it. But if I offended you in any way, I apologize.

You didn't offend me at all Sarah. I was just a little disappointed to see that someone who started a thread purportedly to encourage others to feel good about themselves, should resort to making unkind comments about another poster who, from her previous posts, clearly has low self esteem. I understand that you felt you were retaliating but sometimes it's better to turn the other cheek.

November 27, 2010

Maybe it's semantics, but I view apologies differently. IME, they're designed to make the other feel better about a wrong you've committed, not to dismiss their feelings or to personally attack them.

*shrug*

Nice try, sweet heart.

I attempted to clarify my position on posts 13, 14, 80 (This post also contained an apology), 83.

That's a total of 4 sincere, genuine posts where I tried to state my opinion a bit more clearly. Furthermore, in this entire thread I had NOTHING but nice things to say to everyone else. Go ahead and read all the posts where I compliment people. Does that sound like I wanted to make anyone feel bad?

You and Northern straight up called me a liar by saying you didn't believe my clarifications and NONSTOP insisted that I meant something ugly by my post (even though all the other posts I made in this thread prove otherwise) Please see posts: 73, 86, 88, 90, 91, 97, 99, 106, 108, 114, 118, 126, 158, 169, 171, 173, 175, 176, 185 for reference.

The VERY FIRST post I said (that can be considered insulting) didn't come until post number 139. I also wrote some negative stuff in post number 159 (even then, I still apologized for my poor wording) THOSE WERE THE ONLY NASTY THINGS I SAID IN THIS ENTIRE THREAD AND THEY ONLY CAME AFTER NEARLY NONSTOP NASTINESS FROM YOURSELF AND YOUR LITTLE SIDEKICK.

Anyone with any reading comprehension skills whatsoever can see that you're just a bully trying to manipulate this thread into something it's not. What your motives are, I have no idea. Apparently, there is NOTHING I can say to you (positive or negative) that will deter you from your path of self righteousness. I've read other threads you've posted in. Nearly everything that comes out of your mouth is a vague criticism poorly guised as 'helping' (Sad to say, a lot of really emotionally upset people fall for your nonsense) or you just outright try to start fights and arguments. If that's your game, I'm not going to try to stop you because obviously you get some sort of sick thrill out of making people feel bad about themselves. So continue, if it makes you happy.

But that's not me and I'm not going to play your game. How about from now on, you just do you and I'll do me?

November 27, 2010

Her transparency was so apparent that it almost didn't seem worth mentioning, since it would have been like pointing out the obvious. I'm surprised by how generous some posters are
being. *shrug*

I agree that the OP appeared to be bragging, what I don't agree with is that this was her conscious intention. What was going on unconsciously may be entirely different, and that's for her to deal with - or not.

If you are referring to me when you say some posters are being generous, I think there is enough mud slinging on this thread already, from all directions. I've made my views pretty clear and I don't think it's necessary to join in the fight.

Personally, I believe that if you are generous to others you will receive generosity in return - if you spit venom, watch out for the poison darts!

November 27, 2010

There's another way to look at this thread. This site is full of people who've been torn apart from break up, affairs, divorce and other relationship woes. Can't a thread like this be a good way for them to start rebuilding themselves or at minimum, start looking at their good points instead of blaming themselves for loss?

this is how i took this thread. i don't think the OP created the thread to simply brag about herself. yes, she does list many things that are good about her, but so what? if she is all of that, then good for her.

why is it strange to pen down things that are true? suppose i think one of my positive qualities is being a caring person. so, some of you are saying that if i write that in a post in the manner of a list, it suddenly is me simply trying to brag? this is ridiculous.

i think the OP is correct when she says that a lot of us are really hard on ourselves and that we should take more time to look at the good within us, which sometimes produces material gains. there is nothing wrong with that, i don't think.

I like TBF's suggestion too, but let's be honest about what the thread was really intended to do. I mean, look at the very title. It's not "You are a catch!"

When I think about my personal value and integrity, I think of...an essence. Not a list.

you are nitpicking, Star. the thread title is a question, which i answered as a "No." that doesn't mean i can't read other people's posts, wherein they say good things about themselves (and, in some case, for a change) without thinking they are merely bragging.

personally, this thread did make me think about the good things i bring to a relationship, but it also made me realize that my good qualities are tied down by my own problems/insecurities, which i need to rid myself of.

it is a good read, and i think that you are reading into it in a negative way.

November 27, 2010

the thread title is a question, which i answered as a "No."

Too bad you're wrong. I think everyone is a great catch in their own way. And if you would take the time to tell me about yourself, I'll prove it to you!

November 27, 2010

Mr.Nate could go on and on as to why he's so awesome.

But we already know why he is.

November 27, 2010

You didn't offend me at all Sarah. I was just a little disappointed to see that someone who started a thread purportedly to encourage others to feel good about themselves, should resort to making unkind comments about another poster who, from her previous posts, clearly has low self esteem. I understand that you felt you were retaliating but sometimes it's better to turn the other cheek.

Thank you little tiger, you just prove my point she has low self esteem.

November 27, 2010

I do think OP shouldn't have stooped to making abusive comments towards Sky, simply because she questioned her intentions in starting the thread. Overall, the thread is a good idea at the base of it-but it is dressed up in a manner that does not go down well with some, understandably.

The title does suggest some sort of competition, but then I read further, and OP makes some very nice comments, and turns what some posters viewed as negatives about themselves, into positives. That is a good thing.

I don't think people should think too hard into a title though, it is just a title. And it did seem slightly brag-worthy (word?) but heck, if people can take something good from this thread, go for it.

The main issue is the comments made to Sky, which were uncalled for and out of line. That's my major gripe with the OP, having personal digs is below the belt and I'm sure against TOS? Correct me if I'm wrong there, but there is a contradiction-you want to build people up, but then you tear another poster down.

I'm not going to question your intentions with this thread, because I don't know, it could be a well-intentioned thread getting derailed with negativity, it could be some bragging contest etc, I don't know. No one does, other than you.

November 27, 2010

Nice try, sweet heart.

I attempted to clarify my position on posts 13, 14, 80 (This post also contained an apology), 83.

That's a total of 4 sincere, genuine posts where I tried to state my opinion a bit more clearly. Furthermore, in this entire thread I had NOTHING but nice things to say to everyone else. Go ahead and read all the posts where I compliment people. Does that sound like I wanted to make anyone feel bad?

You and Northern straight up called me a liar by saying you didn't believe my clarifications and NONSTOP insisted that I meant something ugly by my post (even though all the other posts I made in this thread prove otherwise) Please see posts: 73, 86, 88, 90, 91, 97, 99, 106, 108, 114, 118, 126, 158, 169, 171, 173, 175, 176, 185 for reference.

The VERY FIRST post I said (that can be considered insulting) didn't come until post number 139. I also wrote some negative stuff in post number 159 (even then, I still apologized for my poor wording) THOSE WERE THE ONLY NASTY THINGS I SAID IN THIS ENTIRE THREAD AND THEY ONLY CAME AFTER NEARLY NONSTOP NASTINESS FROM YOURSELF AND YOUR LITTLE SIDEKICK.

Anyone with any reading comprehension skills whatsoever can see that you're just a bully trying to manipulate this thread into something it's not. What your motives are, I have no idea. Apparently, there is NOTHING I can say to you (positive or negative) that will deter you from your path of self righteousness. I've read other threads you've posted in. Nearly everything that comes out of your mouth is a vague criticism poorly guised as 'helping' (Sad to say, a lot of really emotionally upset people fall for your nonsense) or you just outright try to start fights and arguments. If that's your game, I'm not going to try to stop you because obviously you get some sort of sick thrill out of making people feel bad about themselves. So continue, if it makes you happy.

But that's not me and I'm not going to play your game. How about from now on, you just do you and I'll do me?

I had to laugh at the sidekick thing. If you spent any time around here, you'd quickly learn that Star and I are anything but "sidekicks." Just because we happen to agree on something doesn't mean we're in some evil conspiracy against you.

While we said we thought you were bragging (big whoop), you took the viciousness up several notches in your posts directed at me. Not sure why you decided to rip me apart in particular considering the other posters who made similar comments.

I find it strange that you think complimenting posters elsewhere somehow proves your niceness/sincerity. So if you're attacking one person and being nice to others, that means you're nice and sincere?

Need I remind you that the worst accusation made at you was that you were bragging and being competitive. Is it really worth getting all vicious over?

Edited November 27, 2010 by northern_sky

November 27, 2010

Mr.Nate could go on and on as to why he's so awesome.

But we already know why he is.

Stop bragging!

November 27, 2010

I respectfully disagree. Her "I don't give a crap what you're going through" comment, as well as her abusiveness in responding to people in this thread (as highlighted by Easy Heart), suggests she sees no desire for personal growth. *shrugs*

Actually SG, if I may be pedantic for a moment, you can't disagree with me - respectfully or otherwise. I said '....you strike me....' which means it's my perception of her as a person and you can't disagree with my perception.

Obviously what you're disagreeing with is that she has a desire for personal growth and I beg to differ there. The 'I don't give a crap' and other similar comments suggest someone lashing out in self defence and I see no connection between that and a desire for personal growth. We all say things in haste or in anger at times, especially when we feel cornered.

Whichever way you read it, the original post of this thread tells me the OP is someone who values being the best she can be and she admits there is room for improvement. She never said she was perfect - that's just how you read it.

November 27, 2010

LOL Ive never played WOW strangely enough...... I hear its FUN...I know I like everquest and Diablo 2 thats my ish... LOL

The other gamer girl on this thread plays Starcraft and this one plays Diablo.

I mean the last time I checked, girls only play the Sims? LOL

November 27, 2010

I had to laugh at the sidekick thing. If you spent any time around here, you'd quickly learn that Star and I are anything but "sidekicks." Just because we happen to agree on something doesn't mean we're in some evil conspiracy against you.

Funniest thing we've read in a long time! Dare we agree, it's a conspiracy!! (I just made a rhyme! )

While we said we thought you were bragging (big whoop), you took the viciousness up several notches in your posts directed at me. Not sure why you decided to rip me apart in particular considering the other posters who made similar comments.

Need I remind you that the worst accusation made at you was that you were bragging and being competitive. Is it really worth getting all vicious over?

That's what I find so bizarre. The critcism we AND MANY OTHERS gave her PALES in comparison to her vicious reaction/retaliation. We are not entitled to have an opinion and disagree with her, I guess, otherwise we'll experience her wrath. Duly noted.

November 27, 2010

Wow! Never mind gender wars, the women are doing a good enough job at warring amongst themselves and we guys can sit back with some pop corn.

P.S. I don't eat popcorn.

I am disappointed too with OP retaliatory post to northern, I don't think that level of criticism was called for, but I dont think it negates the good that can come out of this thread.

StarGazer I note your commitment to the forum etiquette as per the following thread.....

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t253855/

November 27, 2010

Thank you little tiger, you just prove my point she has low self esteem.

I don't understand why you think it's so funny that one of the posters has low self esteem. If you read my post carefully you'll see I wasn't talking about the OP (if that's what you're about?).......and even if I had been, I still fail to see what's so funny about someone struggling with self esteem.

November 27, 2010

Actually SG, if I may be pedantic for a moment, you can't disagree with me - respectfully or otherwise. I said '....you strike me....' which means it's my perception of her as a person and you can't disagree with my perception.

Haha! You're so very right! I stand corrected.

November 27, 2010

I fear the more I think about how good of a catch I am I'll develop the self-delusion that someone isn't good enough for me. I've was raised to not have a big head and that has stuck with me.

November 27, 2010

StarGazer I note your commitment to the forum etiquette as per the following thread.....

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t253855/

I fail to understand how that thread has anything to do with this one. Please get back on topic.

November 27, 2010

I sooooo agree! Which is why I recoiled when I read your next statement:

Why are you focusing on just Northern? There are plenty of people, myself included, who have insinuated exactly what she did. Why don't you address their comments? I'll tell you why you focused on just her: to discredit the comments she made (in an attempt discredit all of them, including mine), and also to kick her when she's down. And that makes this is one of the meanest posts I've read on LS in a long, long time.

Northern recognized her good qualities, and also pointed out things she doesn't like about herself - like disorganization. So what? Didn't you do the same exact thing?

She's insecure about some things. Sure. Aren't we all? But I wouldn't say she hates herself. If you've been following her threads, she's been making great progress, and should be encouraged for that rather than beat down.

Yes. Indeed.

November 27, 2010

I don't understand why you think it's so funny that one of the posters has low self esteem. If you read my post carefully you'll see I wasn't talking about the OP (if that's what you're about?).......and even if I had been, I still fail to see what's so funny about someone struggling with self esteem.

Look, here is my point. If you are a good catch, and high self esteems, you dont need to prove to the world that you are great catch. It will show from others seeing through the person characters by personal interaction. When a person(OP) brag about being a good catch, it shows me that she has deficiencies and has flaw in her characters. To prove her point, she talks down or condescends other posters on this thread.

November 27, 2010

The other gamer girl on this thread plays Starcraft and this one plays Diablo.

I mean the last time I checked, girls only play the Sims? LOL

You have evidently been checking only one subset of girls.

November 27, 2010

I do think OP shouldn't have stooped to making abusive comments towards Sky, simply because she questioned her intentions in starting the thread. Overall, the thread is a good idea at the base of it-but it is dressed up in a manner that does not go down well with some, understandably.

The title does suggest some sort of competition, but then I read further, and OP makes some very nice comments, and turns what some posters viewed as negatives about themselves, into positives. That is a good thing.

I don't think people should think too hard into a title though, it is just a title. And it did seem slightly brag-worthy (word?) but heck, if people can take something good from this thread, go for it.

The main issue is the comments made to Sky, which were uncalled for and out of line. That's my major gripe with the OP, having personal digs is below the belt and I'm sure against TOS? Correct me if I'm wrong there, but there is a contradiction-you want to build people up, but then you tear another poster down.

I'm not going to question your intentions with this thread, because I don't know, it could be a well-intentioned thread getting derailed with negativity, it could be some bragging contest etc, I don't know. No one does, other than you.

Does anyone know what a bully is in an internet forum ?

Someone who abuses another poster and that person's friends then gang up and and bully the poster partly by agreeing with the horrible behavior

I see this happening in this thread..

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