Are you a good catch?

[sb129]

Lol, this thread strongly reeks of jealousy ...

 

Nope, not here. I am happily married.

 

There's another way to look at this thread. This site is full of people who've been torn apart from break up, affairs, divorce and other relationship woes. Can't a thread like this be a good way for them to start rebuilding themselves or at minimum, start looking at their good points instead of blaming themselves for loss?

 

Yes, absolutely.

 

However the OP just didn't sit so well with me.

 

Maybe it was something to do with the wording and structure

[daphne]

I didn't think you were, nor do I think I was "picking on" the OP. I think this thread is a bit odd, and I don't think it was intended with the nicer purpose proposed by TBF. That is all.

 

If/when I ever post a list, I'll live up to it.

 

No one can live up to a list at all times. My intent was to reassure the OP that there's nothing wrong with posting something positive about herself. If anything, I think there were a few people that were trying to tear her down and it's unnecessary.

 

Now I'll stop hijacking her thread.

[nittanylion]

If you are such a good catch, why do you need to reveal yourself you are a good catch? Self esteem issue?

[turnstone]

I'm a great 'catch' for my fiancée and he for me, but it has nothing to do with our talent for cooking, our skill with an iron or our ability to make millions out of selling ski wear to aborigines. It has everything to do with shared values and expectations. We need and want the same things, that's all.

 

Every single man I have ever dated for longer than a year has proposed to me with ring in hand. I think this has always been the case with me because I truly am a great catch.

 

Actually, I've only been single for about 2 months. I was married for 10 years, happily.

 

OP, I don't know (or mind) why you started this thread, but I'm curious - how many guys have you dated for over a year?

 

I feel like this thread was mostly a huge brag fest for the OP, and I don't buy her more charitable explanation. I'm also disturbed by the focus she puts on material possessions in terms of her "catch" qualities. I also wonder about her cultivating these qualities to make herself a better catch. Shouldn't she be doing them for herself, not to impress some guy? The whole post has a she protest too much feel.

 

Northern sky, I can see why you feel the way you do, but I also feel that some other posters would have got away with writing the OP. Maybe Sarah1977 just isnt popular enough? I've seen plenty of other posters bragging about themselves in a far more blatant way than Sarah has here, even in this very thread, and not be condemned for it in the way that we can see here. Infact I've even seen them be applauded!

[Star Gazer]

Northern sky, I can see why you feel the way you do, but I also feel that some other posters would have got away with writing the OP. Maybe Sarah1977 just isnt popular enough? I've seen plenty of other posters bragging about themselves in a far more blatant way than Sarah has here, even in this very thread, and not be condemned for it in the way that we can see here. Infact I've even seen them be applauded!

 

I think the difference is the WAY she presented her list of traits that in her mind make her a catch, combined with this:

 

But these qualities of mine are not accidental. I have actively worked on developing them over the years because I do want to be an excellent catch for any man.

 

The way she presented her qualities made it sound she was setting forth the universal qualities of being a great catch for any man, and that of course, she had them...but does anyone else? The thread title was also suggestive of something akin to a competition... such as, "Do you measure up to me?"

 

There's nothing wrong with recognizing one's great qualities. It's just the way they were presented in the OP that left a bad taste in my mouth.

[daphne]

I also emailed almost 200 women on a dating site, and never got 1 reply.

 

I've known a few guys who were in the same boat. Granted, one is a bit of an awkward introvert and his photos reflect the awkwardness a bit but the other is attractive.

[turnstone]

I think the difference is the WAY she presented her list of traits that in her mind make her a catch

I've seen, in my opinion, far more unpleasant ways of presenting how wonderful someone thinks they are than the way Sarah did here!

 

 

, combined with this:

 

The way she presented her qualities made it sound she was setting forth the universal qualities of being a great catch for any man, and that of course, she had them...but does anyone else? The thread title was also suggestive of something akin to a competition... such as, "Do you measure up to me?"

 

There's nothing wrong with recognizing one's great qualities. It's just the way they were presented in the OP that left a bad taste in my mouth.

 

Yes, I understand what your (and others) opinion is, but I'm just saying its not universally shared.

[Star Gazer]

I've seen, in my opinion, far more unpleasant ways of presenting how wonderful someone thinks they are than the way Sarah did here!

 

Sure. And...? Does that mean lesser evils are okay?

[turnstone]

Sure. And...? Does that mean lesser evils are okay?

 

My point was to illustrate that if Sarah1977 were a more popular [prolific? Bullying?] poster, her OP wouldn't have been castigated as it was.

[daphne]

Its all about location, and what the women "think" you have to offer.

 

Well, if that's the case then it's their loss. I think people should be looking for common core values and secondarily, interests. The superficial trappings are great if you have the first two, but alone don't merit a conversation.

[Star Gazer]

My point was to illustrate that if Sarah1977 were a more popular [prolific? Bullying?] poster, her OP wouldn't have been castigated as it was.

 

I honestly couldn't disagree more; it would be worse. But whatevs.

[eerie_reverie]

I'm not a great catch. I drink a lot, and after 3 drinks, I start looking for an ex's face in the corners of whatever bar I am in. I imagine I am pretty hard to get close to.

[turnstone]

I honestly couldn't disagree more; it would be worse. But whatevs.

 

Maybe in future when a popular poster states how fabulous they are the reaction will be worse, but it hasn't been in the past. I'm not sure how you can disagree with a fact, but..... whatever.

[Star Gazer]

Maybe in future when a popular poster states how fabulous they are the reaction will be worse, but it hasn't been in the past. I'm not sure how you can disagree with a fact, but..... whatever.

 

Well then in that case everyone must have agreed?

[turnstone]

How is that relevant?

 

To clarify for you: Sarah1977 has met with some antagonism after writing something self-praising. I stated that maybe she wouldn't have gotten such a hard time if she were a more 'popular' poster. I then went on to illustrate the point by describing how I have seen a 'popular' poster write far more lurid self-aggrandisement posts to receive nothing but applause.

[Star Gazer]

How is that relevant?

 

To clarify for you: Sarah1977 has met with some antagonism after writing something self-praising. I stated that maybe she wouldn't have gotten such a hard time if she were a more 'popular' poster. I then went on to illustrate the point by describing how I have seen a 'popular' poster write far more lurid self-aggrandisement posts to receive nothing but applause.

 

Did said poster start an entire thread aimed at self-praising, and start the OP with a laundry list of self-praise?

[turnstone]

Yep. And this phenomenon isn't limited to one poster, either!

[turnstone]

Well then in that case everyone must have agreed?

 

Once again, how is this relevant?

[Mad Max]

Am I a good catch? I've been in relationships before, I'm not a virgin, and women do approach me. I must be at least a somewhat decent catch.

[Citizen Erased]

I'm fantastic. That's all you need to know.

 

The amount of time I spend posting on here probably detracts from my fantasticness in the eyes of most people though...

[Star Gazer]

Once again, how is this relevant?

 

Because why would they argue with the poster if they agreed with them? Seems obvious to me.

 

Please link to the threads these popular posters started for purposes of talking about what a great catch they are. I don't recall seeing any, other than MY "Brag About Yourself!" thread.

[Star Gazer]

Am I a good catch? I've been in relationships before, I'm not a virgin, and women do approach me. I must be at least a somewhat decent catch.

 

Yup. Logic would dictate that. We're all a catch in our own way. There's no universal standard.

 

I'm fantastic. That's all you need to know.

 

The amount of time I spend posting on here probably detracts from my fantasticness in the eyes of most people though...

 

You ARE fantastic, darling!

 

(And same here! Haha!)

[threebyfate]

And I'm also fantastic, beyond your wildest dreams of fantastic. Can we all hug now? Oh and don't crease my shirt. Kthxbye.

[threebyfate]

Looks like I'll need to convince y'all why I'm so fantastic.

• The mother of a beautiful, healthy, smart, charming and happy baby boy.
  
• The wife and partner of a beautiful man.
  

I could list at least a thousand more reasons for being fantastic but I'm too modest to do so.

[LittleTiger]

One man's meat..........that's all I'm going to say!