Are you a good catch?

[Sarah1977]

I see a lot of people here insisting that they want someone to 'love me for me.' Yet, I fail to see what makes them such a good catch? What makes them so love able and special in the first place? Do they even know?

 

So I wanted to start this thread in order for people to sit down and think about what makes them a good catch. I think if you know and understand what you bring to the table, relationship-wise, it helps to build confidence.

 

I'll go first...

 

I'm a darned good catch. I'm in my early 30's with no children. I have been married before, but there is no baggage there. I make an excellent income and I own my own company. I have great credit and zero debt outside of the mortgage on my home and on a couple of commercial properties I own.

 

I am in great shape and I'm good in the sack. I am very smart and have an excellent sense of humor. I do plenty of volunteer work including working with abused children and I do hospice work with people who have incurable fatal illnesses. I'd make a great Mother someday and I have really good manners. I don't smoke, do drugs and I only drink socially.

 

Most of all, I'm easy to be with. I'm not jealous or insecure. I don't nag the men I'm with and I won't take it personally if they don't notice the dishes in the kitchen sink. I don't smother, play games, or demand that a guy jump through hoops in order to read my mind. I'm a cheap date; I'd rather go for a hike in the woods than a fancy restaurant. I'm generous without expecting anything in return. I'm even tempered. I'm open and honest, I keep my promises, and I try to conduct myself with a fair bit of honor and grace.

 

I'm not saying that I'm without fault. I have a poor sense of style and couldn't put together a fashionable outfit if my life. I'm terrible at math and a crappy driver. I'm also very, very legitimately busy which makes it hard for me to be spontaneous or to spend as much time as most men would like to spend with me. But I do try to make the most of the time that I have. The result? Every single man I have ever dated for longer than a year has proposed to me with ring in hand. I think this has always been the case with me because I truly am a great catch.

 

But these qualities of mine are not accidental. I have actively worked on developing them over the years because I do want to be an excellent catch for any man. It's always been important to me that I become the sort of person capable of treating a man well and making him proud to stand by my side.

 

So, what qualities have you actively tried to develop to make yourself a great catch?

[jimbo]

I think I am.

 

The positive's

Zero baggage

Never jealous or out for just my gain.

No debt

Own my home outright

A few nice cars

Love to travel

Love sports

In excellent fit shape

Kind, loving will do nearly anything for my partner; within reason

Know some excellent moves in the sack, including tantra sex.

No psychological issues

No emotional issues

Logically sound

Not clingy

Very independent

Great listener

Great problem solver

Love adventure and trying new things

[hydorclops]

I'm not modest. I really am awesome. Still, it's not in my nature to brag.

[NoLongerSad]

 

 

So, what qualities have you actively tried to develop to make yourself a great catch?

 

 

Humility.....

[RecordProducer]

Sarah, it smells to me as though you're trying to justify why at age 33, you still haven't found Mr. Baby Daddy. And your answer is: because you're just too good.

 

However, I suspect that the true reason was set forth in this admission:

I'm terrible at math

[jimbo]

lol. Math is an important trait.

[EasyHeart]

So, what qualities have you actively tried to develop to make yourself a great catch?

I try not to be so insecure that I have to brag about what a great catch I am. I let other people figure that out. Edited November 26, 2010 by EasyHeart

[tb24]

I'm a good catch:

 

-I'm intelligent

-I have a good, steady job

-I'm fairly good looking (my face anyway my body isn't so great )

-I treat my girlfriends with the respect they deserve

-I have awesome looking long hair

-I don't do drugs

-I'm the kind of guy girls don't mind introducing to their parents (Even if this does seem to be instant turn off for a lot of girls!)

-I'm a lover not a fighter

-I'm happy to go with the flow

-I'm generally a happy person and don't let the little things get me down

 

 

Of course I have my bad points:

-I'm underweight

-I'm still living with my parents at aged 24 (Though I'm buying my own home in the new year!)

-I'm a huge geek... but at least I admit it.

[northern_sky]

I wrote a long response, but I think it could best be summarized by LOL.

[RecordProducer]

-I'm the kind of guy girls don't mind introducing to their parents.

This is solid proof that you're not meeting the plain and simple meaning of a "good catch."

 

If you were - what our society considers - a good catch, your girlfriends would be dying to introduce you to their parents, who would be dying to meet you... that successful, wealthy, generous gentleman!

[tb24]

Eh? That's what I said

 

Some girls tend to go for the "bad boy" sterotype, which is just not me.

[Sarah1977]

Sarah, it smells to me as though you're trying to justify why at age 33, you still haven't found Mr. Baby Daddy. And your answer is: because you're just too good.

 

Actually, I have been married before. And plenty of opportunity to get married again, if I did so desire.

 

Besides, I think you misread my post. The reason I started it was because I noticed a lot of people on this forum seem to have very little confidence with members of the opposite sex. There's a lot of vague ranting about how 'no one loves me for me' and blah, blah, blah.

 

I thought it would do THEM some good to sit down and logically think about what they bring to the table relationship wise. Sometimes if you take a step back, take time to list your strengths, you begin to realize you really are a good and decent person worthy of a relationship. This knowledge just MIGHT make some people here feel a little bit more confident during dates and ultimately a little successful.

 

In short, I don't mean for this thread to be about me. The reason that I wrote my strengths was for an example, not to brag. The point of my post was simply to make people think about in what ways they shine.

[xpaperxcutx]

I won't categorize myself as a good catch because that is synonymous with me being a trophy.

 

I have traits that are desirable and some that are not. The important thing is that if a guy wants to date me, he has to accept all of them.

[northern_sky]

The reason that I wrote my strengths was for an example, not to brag.

 

----------------

Edited November 26, 2010 by northern_sky

[Eeyore79]

I think I'm a reasonable catch, which is why my singledom is all the more puzzling!

 

Me:

-No ex-husbands or kids

-Own my home

-No debt

-Well educated (PhD) and decent job

-Relatively young looking and stylish (31 but often assumed to be about 25)

-Nice figure (US size 6)

-Good in bed (or so I've been told)

-Don't do drugs or drink heavily

-Love animals

-Independent, have hobbies etc

-Good cook

-Kind and decent (I try my best anyway)

-Not into casual sex (looking for a relationship)

-Even tempered (not jealous or angry)

 

My faults are that I'm somewhat insecure and shy, but people rarely realise that until they get to know me. I really have no idea why no decent man wants to commit to me

[RecordProducer]

The point of my post was simply to make people think about in what ways they shine.

Even poop shines in the moonlight!

 

If people spent more time thinking about other people's qualities than about their own, many more folks would get and stay married. That includes myself and my ex husbands.

[thatsonlyme]

- I can barely make my ends meet

- I'm homeless at the moment, all my stuff is packed in my second car and I live at friends house rent-free

- I have two cars

- I've been jailed, twice, but it wasn't my fault

- I never went to college but I spent extra years in high school to make it up

- I do drugs occasionally

- I get ****faced sometimes and don't remember anything

- I smoke now but I will quit soon

- I'm not fat but I could lose another 10 lbs

- I work out once in a while

- I have 6" pecker but I know how to use it well

- I don't wanna have kids

- Marriage is just a stupid contract and means nothing IMO

- I'm lazy and my ultimate goal is finding a way to make money without lifting a finger

- I love animals but I think PETA is a bunch of fags

 

there is probably a lot more but I can't remember anything else because my memory is terrible!

 

Do you think I'm a great catch?

 

Seriously though, no wonder why people can't have meaningful relationships now days, life is not a f****n checklist!

Relax, enjoy your life and fall in love like you've never been hurt before, enjoy it while it lasts and move on if things are not working out!

Just because you think you're a great catch doesn't make it so, but it doesn't matter anyway. Be happy for yourself, why care what others think?

[Sarah1977]

Even poop shines in the moonlight!

 

If people spent more time thinking about other people's qualities than about their own, many more folks would get and stay married. That includes myself and my ex husbands.

 

 

Not if their self esteem is in the gutter.

 

The reason I thought about this is because I had a friend who always dated guys who treated her like garbage and dumped her. I asked her why she even bothered with these dudes in the first place since it was clear that they were jerks from the very beginning. She said it was because she was a loser and couldn't get better.

 

So I actually sat down with her and wrote one of these out about her. I wrote down all her good qualities and, for kicks, we also wrote about her bad. Then I said, "If you met a man with identical strengths and weaknesses to these ones, would you call him a loser?"

 

Of course not. Let's be logical here. I think sometimes people get into little funks and start thinking bad about themselves and lose sight of the FACT that they are good and decent people. I don't think there is any harm in reminding people that that isn't true at all.

 

I noticed a lot of people here seem to be in a similar 'funk.' I would write out a list for every one here if I knew you all in person!

Edited November 26, 2010 by Sarah1977

[Knittress]

YEP! (Haha) Although I'm not exactly compatible with a large percentage of the population. This doesn't bother me much.

[RecordProducer]

I really have no idea why no decent man wants to commit to me

I do! Cuz you don't sound like a fake bitch. Same with the original poster. I too wear my heart in my sleeve and seek justice. Only calculated, manipulative women catch the best guys - because men are soooooooo naive. Men like women who give them freedom and are too busy for them, because they present a challenge. Men don't realize that thee women just don't care about them. In fact, the less they care the more the men want them. If you want to catch ANY man, just act like you're a perfect woman, give him what he wants (fun, lovely company, great sex) and then take it away. Play the push-and-pull game and he'll be eating from your hands. I've never been able to do that because I was too open and honest, too passionate and clingy.

 

A man only wants what he thinks he can't have. They'll leave Ms. Perfect if she is tooavailable and fight to death with other male specimens over Ms. Average. They're stupid for doing it, but at least they can't help it because it's in their core nature. But what's our excuse for not using it?

[denise_xo]

 

Seriously though, no wonder why people can't have meaningful relationships now days, life is not a f****n checklist!

 

Quoted for truth.

[threebyfate]

I do! Cuz you don't sound like a fake bitch. Same with the original poster. I too wear my heart in my sleeve and seek justice. Only calculated, manipulative women catch the best guys - because men are soooooooo naive. Men like women who give them freedom and are too busy for them, because they present a challenge. Men don't realize that thee women just don't care about them. In fact, the less they care the more the men want them. If you want to catch ANY man, just act like you're a perfect woman, give him what he wants (fun, lovely company, great sex) and then take it away. Play the push-and-pull game and he'll be eating from your hands. I've never been able to do that because I was too open and honest, too passionate and clingy.

 

A man only wants what he thinks he can't have. They'll leave Ms. Perfect if she is tooavailable and fight to death with other male specimens over Ms. Average. They're stupid for doing it, but at least they can't help it because it's in their core nature. But what's our excuse for not using it?

Ahem. Untrue. Some of us actually found men who didn't play games, who came after us with consistent interest where we returned consistent interest. It's called a mature relationship that led in my case to marriage, since we were incredibly compatible.

 

And no, I'm not Ms. Average.

[Sarah1977]

-Good cook

 

I'd marry you just based on this one. I'd have to go gay, but I think it would be worth it for a good meal here and there.

 

Ah, if only I could find the male equivalent!

[RecordProducer]

Ahem. Untrue. Some of us actually found men who didn't play games, who came after us with consistent interest where we returned consistent interest. It's called a mature relationship that led in my case to marriage, since we were incredibly compatible.

 

And no, I'm not Ms. Average.

Folks like you make me realize that I'm bitter after two divorces. Thanks for the reminder. I mean, I still think most men are like the ones I described, but that for point out that there are some normal men out there. Because I can't play those games anyway.

[runner]

if i am a 'good catch' it is because when i find a potential partner with whom i am tremendously attracted to i approach the relationship thinking how i might be able to contribute into a mutually beneficial relationship (what i bring to the table, so to speak), and how i might make my partner just happy to be with me, or how i might enhance her life. and likewise, she'll have identified me (my qualities, etc) as a 'good catch'

 

saying that i might be, doesn't mean that i'm good for just anyone- and i prefer it that way