poorguy Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Together for 3 years broke up 6 months ago. She got a new boyfriend right away. They now live together. I stopped talking to her (total NC) for 3 months until the begining of October. Basically not really upset anymore. I never really chased after her anyway even after the breakup because I've done that in the past and know it gets you nowhere especially if they've moved on. So maybe not more than 4 or 5 days will go by and she'll contact me about something----Here's my question though. Yesterday morning she texted me this "I'm still in love with you" So what does that one mean??? I texted her back last night the same thing
Leandro Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 She said that when she has a bf? And why did you say it back?
Author poorguy Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 That's what she said......Like around 8 am. Then around 7 pm I texted back saying the same thing. Yes, it was a holiday and yes I had been drinking at my families lol..but I said it
PegNosePete Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Maybe her current BF is not that good, and she wants you as a backup plan. Don't be that guy.
Author poorguy Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 I'll add on Wednesday she sent me an email wishing me a happy Thanksgiving and then I P.S. "I had the most amazing sex dream about you last night and had to take care of myself when I woke up"..I was out of town so I actually just got that email today
Fufu Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Ignore her.. although if you want you can text her this. "I pity your bf" I have a good buddy, her bf broke up with her and had a new gf. After few years, this ex-bf actually texted my buddy that he misses her alot and he was still attached with the same gf he dumped me buddy for.
Author poorguy Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 Yeah I was just wondering why this??? Like does it mean anything?? I will say that I would love to be together with her eventually. I've just been quiet and patient and have waited. I'm not going to pretend that I haven't been seeing anyone because I have. She's a really beautiful girl but she's not my love and she knows that at this point
Fufu Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 It does not mean anything anymore because she chose to be OUT of the relationship. Now she says all this is just to mess with your heart and mind. Will you want someone who can ditch you and find a new partner instantly? What if she pulls the same stunt again? She's past. There are always far more deserving beautiful ladies so much worth to be loved.
Author poorguy Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 That's true-I know that. I know it's also true that after a breakup if you didn't turn into a complete idiot that people have a tendency to look back eventually.I've had 2 exes in the past do it but it was longer than 6 months...By the way I broke up with her and she was hurt when I did. It was one of those I don't want to do it-but I have to do it kinda things...So anyone else know what it means and how I should proceed with it
ARISthess Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Call me old fashioned if you like... but i'll never understand how people move in with each other after 4-5 months... I mean no wonder so many relationships end abruptly 'without reason'... you can't skip the steps and go straight to living with another person... Ok, now that I got that off my chest... I think all is open in your situation... He might be a rebound, being with him helped her forget you, but now she sees that the grass isn't greener. She might be looking for a confidence boost, women like to know that they are wanted. Maybe she just misses the sex.... Its up to you on how you play it. If your over her you could play along... if your not stick to nc cause you could push yourself back to stage 1 in no time.
AlisaMarie Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Yes, I agree... ego boost. She wants to make sure you have not forgotten her. Even though she moved on, you must have had a huge impact on her. I have done that before, but I was always the dumpee. So I really think you shouldn't have said anything back- unless it was cold, like well you chose to be out of my life, or like someone else mentioned, I feel bad for your dude. I just wish something would give for all of us so we wouldn't have to be on here! But thank God it's here!
Author poorguy Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 Very good perspective-thank you. I would say I'm 80% over it. Going back to stage one would not be possible at this point in time-just wouldn't happen.I would love to reconnect with her eventually. I of course haven't given her that impression. What I've done is basically mirror whatever she says...Also she drives up my street everyday on the way home from work which is out of her way. The reason I know that is because I can see her from where I work.....Any girls/guys out there who are involved with someone new but still actually in love with their ex...Haha I just thought of something-there probably are but they wouldn't be here in this forum
Author poorguy Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 Alisamarie I broke up with her and she took it very hard until the new guy came along....I just went NC after that and lived my life
AlisaMarie Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Very good perspective-thank you. I would say I'm 80% over it. Going back to stage one would not be possible at this point in time-just wouldn't happen.I would love to reconnect with her eventually. I of course haven't given her that impression. What I've done is basically mirror whatever she says...Also she drives up my street everyday on the way home from work which is out of her way. The reason I know that is because I can see her from where I work.....Any girls/guys out there who are involved with someone new but still actually in love with their ex...Haha I just thought of something-there probably are but they wouldn't be here in this forum Years ago, I was with my bf for a couple years on and off... and he just broke me any way he could. I met someone else and was with him for 3 years and we lived together. I missed the other guy everyday. We ended up getting back together... me thinking that he changed, but then it led to 5 more years of cheating, a planned wedding ruined, and me to re-heal. That ended 4 years ago this month and since then it has been one mistake relationship after another. I just don't know why I attract this certain type that thinks it's ok to be a slime. Just remember, sometimes we are given second chances, but do we want them?
Author poorguy Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 We were on and off for the 3 years but nothing devistating like some stories that are on here. She's just younger than me and got into partying all the time. That was fine with me to a degree but I wasn't sure when that stage was going to end. I couldn't wait another year I had already waited a year. I nkow what you mena about people moving in togther after 4 or 5 months. I've done that and it was a diaster eventually...I do love her very much. SOOOO just wondering why she would be at times telling me these things.I wouldn't say to someone "I'm still in love you" if I wasn't
AlisaMarie Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Alisamarie I broke up with her and she took it very hard until the new guy came along....I just went NC after that and lived my life Maybe you had another post that I didn't read... but why did you break up with her?
Author poorguy Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 She was hanging out with loosers and smoking pot nonstop-all of that stuff. Which is fine people grow I guess and learn. Just the I'm still in love with you stuff??
AlisaMarie Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 She was hanging out with loosers and smoking pot nonstop-all of that stuff. Which is fine people grow I guess and learn. Just the I'm still in love with you stuff?? Yeah... I understand, that wasn't your lifestyle so you weren't the douche in the situation. I told me ex last week that I still love him, but it was only 2 weeks after our last breakup, not months. So... I don't know where you should go from here. Did she say anything at all after you replied?
Author poorguy Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 Yeah she responded and wished my family and I a happy holiday <3...had to send a <3 in there she thought. She kept it sort of general because I'm sure she was with her guy lol
Wrenne Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 poorguy: why on earth would you still be in contact with someone who treats her current boyfriend this way? your ex is not a trustworthy person. it is completely inappropriate to tell your ex that you love him or that you had sex dreams about him when you are with someone else. even if she is still in love with you (and is not just getting an ego boost), how do you know that when things are tough she won't look for attention outside her relationship in the future? cut her off. i say this only because i went through a similar situation. my ex of 1.5 years got into a new relationship just 1 month after i moved (5 months ago). he told me that he still loved me, would send me cute emails and sentimental gifts in the mail, all while he had a new girlfriend. all of our mutual friends told me that he did not seem that into his new girlfriend and that she was clearly a rebound, so i (naively) assumed he was trying to work out things with me. i confronted him about it and told him that his attention, gifts, etc. were making it difficult for me to move on and that i thought it was disrespectful for him to be acting this way while he was in a relationship. i told him that i wanted an explanation or for him to leave me alone. he said that he was not trying to win me back, that he was happy in his relationship, and that he was just trying to be "my friend". i don't believe that anyone would consider what he was doing simply "friendly". i am convinced that he just wants to keep me on a string while he moves on and doesn't see this as a problem. i cut off contact since then, it's been almost a week now. it's been hard but i think it is the first step to moving on with my life, and i am grateful for that. even if your ex does not shut you down like mine did, someone who essentially emotionally cheats on her boyfriend is not someone that you want to be in a relationship with. period.
AlisaMarie Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 poorguy: why on earth would you still be in contact with someone who treats her current boyfriend this way? your ex is not a trustworthy person. it is completely inappropriate to tell your ex that you love him or that you had sex dreams about him when you are with someone else. even if she is still in love with you (and is not just getting an ego boost), how do you know that when things are tough she won't look for attention outside her relationship in the future? cut her off. i say this only because i went through a similar situation. my ex of 1.5 years got into a new relationship just 1 month after i moved (5 months ago). he told me that he still loved me, would send me cute emails and sentimental gifts in the mail, all while he had a new girlfriend. all of our mutual friends told me that he did not seem that into his new girlfriend and that she was clearly a rebound, so i (naively) assumed he was trying to work out things with me. i confronted him about it and told him that his attention, gifts, etc. were making it difficult for me to move on and that i thought it was disrespectful for him to be acting this way while he was in a relationship. i told him that i wanted an explanation or for him to leave me alone. he said that he was not trying to win me back, that he was happy in his relationship, and that he was just trying to be "my friend". i don't believe that anyone would consider what he was doing simply "friendly". i am convinced that he just wants to keep me on a string while he moves on and doesn't see this as a problem. i cut off contact since then, it's been almost a week now. it's been hard but i think it is the first step to moving on with my life, and i am grateful for that. even if your ex does not shut you down like mine did, someone who essentially emotionally cheats on her boyfriend is not someone that you want to be in a relationship with. period. Your story reminds me of mine a little. We broke up in July... but have been on and off. I think when it was on, it didn't work out with whoever. But this last time we got together this was another...but they were "friends." He was sending explicit texts and wanting things more than friends do. He also was lying to her about his where abouts when he was with me... so what makes me think anything other than he was lying to me about her? I am grossed out! This girl is gross and I have so much more to offer... but then again, men that act ilke this are gross and deserve what they end up with. I am going to keep my head held high and laugh. I have her number if I need it. Ahhh... sorry had to vent.
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