LostInTurn Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Day one of NC. NC from a friend who meant / means more to me than anyone will understand. I try and explain it to people and they just shut down in rational. I wouldn't expect anyone to understand. Life has a way of spinning situations. I've always been a pushover, gone along with the way things are. I didn't this time. This was the first time in my life, I allowed myself a voice in my friendship / relationship. I left, twice. I chose. For some reason, I'm regretful. Now I see what it's like to be on the other end. The end of the person who leaves someone, who makes irrational judgement calls just because things got a bit tricky. Well, if this is what it's like I know how people who have left my life may feel. It's a terrible feeling. I walk through days in a daze, knowing there's nothing I can do to mend any of this. He, and rightfully so, will never listen to me. I wouldn't listen to me either. I just wish I could tell him, and know he heard me... that I wish I never got on that plane. Of all the things I thought I would forever regret in life, I never thought it would be this, or something with him. Well, here I am and it is. I never should have gotten on that plane. I didn't think it through and I acted out of emotion. I'm sorry, M. I wish you knew.
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