Find myself still gravitating towards younger women

[irc333]

I'm 38 years old and well, still find myself attracted to younger women....not TOO young, but I think I'd probably have no problem dating any woman over 25....probably at least a woman in her late 20's (on the younger end of the scale.)

 

Reason I say this is....well.....

 

Me (let's leave age out of this): Single, never married, no kids

 

Younger women = single, never married, no kids (well a good majority)

 

Women around my age = Divorced once or twice, have multiple kids, (baby mamma drama) probably no time to date because they're single mothers, etc, etc.

 

I am wondering with me being in the "Single, never married, no kids" category, I'd be best off MORE compatible with such women, and I might have to leave age out of the mix, and rely more on finding women of the SAME status as me. (Single, never married and no kids)

 

My concern is, as I get older, I might STILL be attracted to younger women, LOL

 

Any GUYS here with the "Single, never married, no kids" status that find themselves more into women like that.

 

Of course there are few trickle of women here and there around MY age that have never been married, no kids, single....but I've noticed they're overly picky and critical of what they're looking for in a mate.

[utterer of lies]

Many women over 30 have lots of baggage, either psychological or (as you mentioned) kids, divorces...

 

So yes, I have to say that I prefer younger women too. My ideal range is 24-28, my current gf just had her 27th birthday last week.

[Surrealist]

Single, have been married, no kids here. I'm 40 years old, look after myself pretty well, train in the gym four to five days a week. I also look at younger women generally. Very few women my age who are compatible. If I had decided to 'settle' for the couple of women who were around my age recently trying to hit on me, I would of shot myself. Seriously if my self-esteem is that low I may as well as ended it. My ex wife is actually older than me but she never let herself go and has always looked after herself, our reasons for seperating pending divorce were for other reasons.

[welikeincrowds]

Many women over 30 have lots of baggage, either psychological or (as you mentioned) kids, divorces...

Christ, man.

 

• Implying that men in the same age group are automatically exempt from your supposed problems
  
• Implying that being over 30 is a red flag
  
• Implying that life experience = damaged goods
  

There's a difference between looking for people at similar life-stages and maturity to you, and straight-up hating on women.

[utterer of lies]

Implying that men in the same age group are automatically exempt from your supposed problems

 

No, I'm not. But as I am a heterosexual male, I don't much care for the baggage of other men

 

Implying that being over 30 is a red flag

 

Not a red flag, but I prefer younger. Because of my experiences with both. Am I not allowed to state my preferences?

 

Implying that life experience = damaged goods

 

Correlation != causation.

 

There's a difference between looking for people at similar life-stages and maturity to you, and straight-up hating on women.

 

Hate? What?

[welikeincrowds]

No, I'm not. But as I am a heterosexual male, I don't much care for the baggage of other men

 

Correction noted.

 

Not a red flag, but I prefer younger. Because of my experiences with both. Am I not allowed to state my preferences?

I didn't quote the sentence where you stated your preferences (state them all day). I quoted the sentence where you made a universal claim about the mental health of women over 30.

 

Correlation != causation.

I never even bothered with causation. Your correlation is the issue.

 

Hate? What?

"Hating on."

 

I am sure and hoping that you didn't mean anything negative by your statement. I'm just tired of seeing either gender being sucker punched on these boards. Imagine you had a sister over 30 with a child. How would she feel if she read what you just wrote -- her split-second reaction, before her superego came in to console her with reason about not caring what her brother thinks, or what people say on the internet, or that she's probably not one of the "many women," or whatever? Look, it doesn't take much to show respect. It's as easy as not being a hater.

[utterer of lies]

I didn't quote the sentence where you stated your preferences (state them all day). I quoted the sentence where you made a universal claim about the mental health of women over 30.

 

In the original post, I said 'many'. Not most, not all, just 'many'. It's not as universal as you might think.

 

I am sure and hoping that you didn't mean anything negative by your statement. I'm just tired of seeing either gender being sucker punched on these boards. Imagine you had a sister over 30 with a child. How would she feel if she read what you just wrote -- her split-second reaction, before her superego came in to console her with reason about not caring what her brother thinks, or what people say on the internet, or that she's probably not one of the "many women," or whatever? Look, it doesn't take much to show respect. It's as easy as not being a hater.

 

You imply hate where there is none. Just stating my experiences does not mean I'm sucker punching anyone.

 

Calm down a bit.

 

You might think that censoring my thoughts on the subject might be better, but I don't, and I resent your attempts to make me look bad just for speaking my mind.

[welikeincrowds]

In the original post, I said 'many'. Not most, not all, just 'many'. It's not as universal as you might think.

Yes, it is precisely as universal I might think. It's not about a specific person, and it's not about your preferences; it's a universal statement. I pointed this out in response to you saying "it's just my preferences" for some reason -- which you, in fact, keep doing, even though I'm not taking issue at all with your preferences.

 

What's clear is that a statement like that is not a problem to you. Many women over 30 have baggage -- to you, that does not sound disparaging. That's why you'll say something silly like "I'm trying to make you look bad." Or, sillier, "I'm trying to censor you." I don't see any black bars over your posts, do you?

[Andy_K]

It's only offensive if you choose to apply it to yourself or those close to you.

 

"Many men are selfish cheats"

 

"Many men only really want women for sex."

 

"Many men are either *******s or totally insecure."

 

All the above statements are true. I find none of them remotely offensive, because I know full well they don't apply to me or those I know well. So what if they apply to others? I don't feel the need to defend everyone of my gender. Or the opposite gender. Or anyone else I don't know. But I can still appreciate the truth.

[Tim The Enchanter]

The most important thing for me is chemistry, and that usually comes about when I'm dating someone who is fairly close to me in age. I'm 34 so that means anyone from about 30 to 38.

[Eeyore79]

I'm a 31yo woman and I experience similar issues. I've never been married and have no kids, so I want a similar partner. However, many 30-ish men are divorced with kids, and since men often tend to hit on slightly younger women, I often get hit on by guys in the 35-40 age range who are even more likely to have kids and ex-wives.

 

I wouldn't rule out dating a guy in the 30-40 age range if he was of a similar status to myself; i.e. never married, no kids. Such men aren't widely found though, so I find myself dating men in the 25-30 age range because they're less likely to have such baggage. What's important to me is that my partner and I are at the same life stage; it's irrelevant whether we're the same age.

 

As long as my status remains unchanged, I'll continue to be attracted to people of the same status, regardless of my age. However, the men I date aren't significantly younger - maybe 4-5 years at most - so they tend to be fairly accepting of the small age gap. If you're 38 and still dating people in their 20s, you're looking at a much larger age gap, and eventually you'll find that such people will see you as being too old and won't date you. So while you might not be attracted to older people with baggage, eventually you'll have no other options because the young people without baggage will see you as too old. You had probably better bag yourself a young baggage-free female while you still can

[Sarah1977]

Too bad most hot, young women aren't interested in guys old enough to be their fathers.

[irc333]

There is this woman around MY age, she's 37, she was dating a 25 year old guy...no joke.

 

I was wondering what was going through HIS head, because he was a fresh college engineer grad. who had access to tons of women HIS age without kids, just like him

 

But he decided to date a hot mom for a year (yes she was hot, had 2 kids, very slender/sexy build (big salsa dancer) and a nice set of juggs.

 

She was totally into him, and him into her, after about a year they broke up, and I asked her why, she said, "We were just at different stages in our lives"

 

And I thought (almost said), "I could've told ya that, lol"

 

I bet he was just glad he was with a hot older woman I suppose, and probably even knew it wouldn't get any further than just a dating relationship.

 

I saw HER sitting in his lap one time, hand feeding him food.

 

I just found it creepy to be a woman almost old enough to be his mom to be doing that. LOL

 

 

I'm a 31yo woman and I experience similar issues. I've never been married and have no kids, so I want a similar partner. However, many 30-ish men are divorced with kids, and since men often tend to hit on slightly younger women, I often get hit on by guys in the 35-40 age range who are even more likely to have kids and ex-wives.

 

I wouldn't rule out dating a guy in the 30-40 age range if he was of a similar status to myself; i.e. never married, no kids. Such men aren't widely found though, so I find myself dating men in the 25-30 age range because they're less likely to have such baggage. What's important to me is that my partner and I are at the same life stage; it's irrelevant whether we're the same age.

 

As long as my status remains unchanged, I'll continue to be attracted to people of the same status, regardless of my age. However, the men I date aren't significantly younger - maybe 4-5 years at most - so they tend to be fairly accepting of the small age gap. If you're 38 and still dating people in their 20s, you're looking at a much larger age gap, and eventually you'll find that such people will see you as being too old and won't date you. So while you might not be attracted to older people with baggage, eventually you'll have no other options because the young people without baggage will see you as too old. You had probably better bag yourself a young baggage-free female while you still can

[irc333]

That all depends, what is considered, "Old enough to be your father"?

 

There are some people with older fathers, while other have younger fathers.

 

Of course at 38, I'm not old enough to be someone's father if they are only 26 or 27. Just not possible.

 

 

Too bad most hot, young women aren't interested in guys old enough to be their fathers.

[Sarah1977]

That all depends, what is considered, "Old enough to be your father"?

 

 

I'd say a 15+ age difference would be enough to make a young chick feel nauseous at the thought of having sex with you.

 

Of course, in my experience, most young women think even a 10 year age difference is fairly gross. Unless, of course, the guy is in EXCELLENT shape. And when I say 'excellent,' I mean cut-glass-with-those-abs shape.

[Sharpie]

Have you asked out the hot 37 year old dancer? She might still be single...

 

...and younger...

[anne1707]

There is this woman around MY age, she's 37, she was dating a 25 year old guy...no joke.

 

I was wondering what was going through HIS head, because he was a fresh college engineer grad. who had access to tons of women HIS age without kids, just like him

 

But he decided to date a hot mom for a year (yes she was hot, had 2 kids, very slender/sexy build (big salsa dancer) and a nice set of juggs.

 

She was totally into him, and him into her, after about a year they broke up, and I asked her why, she said, "We were just at different stages in our lives"

 

And I thought (almost said), "I could've told ya that, lol"

 

I bet he was just glad he was with a hot older woman I suppose, and probably even knew it wouldn't get any further than just a dating relationship.

 

I saw HER sitting in his lap one time, hand feeding him food.

 

I just found it creepy to be a woman almost old enough to be his mom to be doing that. LOL

 

That all depends, what is considered, "Old enough to be your father"?

 

There are some people with older fathers, while other have younger fathers.

 

Of course at 38, I'm not old enough to be someone's father if they are only 26 or 27. Just not possible.

 

Same age difference in both cases yet you state a 37 year old woman is almost old enough to be the mother of a 25 year old but you at 38 are nowhere near old enough to be the father of a 26 year old. Seems like a contradiction to me

[irc333]

No, no contradiction, the only thing was she had kids...and I was wondering what HE (a man who had a pick of the litter of women HIS age without kids on campus and had no kids himself) saw in a woman with kids....typically most men THAT young would not be interested in single moms.

 

 

Same age difference in both cases yet you state a 37 year old woman is almost old enough to be the mother of a 25 year old but you at 38 are nowhere near old enough to be the father of a 26 year old. Seems like a contradiction to me

[Star Gazer]

Most women in their early- to mid-20's wouldn't touch a man who's 38 with a ten foot pole unless he brought A LOT to the table. And I mean, A LOT.

 

Yes, age really is just a number. Life experience and maturity are the determining factors of whether two people are compatible. And sure, the OP might have the same level of life experience at 38 as a woman does at 25, but a smart 25 year old woman would be pretty concerned that a 38 year old man didn't have MUCH more life experience than she does.

 

I'm also very surprised the OP is 38. Given the context of his threads and the questions he asks, I honestly thought he was about 20-22. Dead serious.

[irc333]

I'm also very surprised the OP is 38. Given the context of his threads and the questions he asks, I honestly thought he was about 20-22. Dead serious.

 

I'm not sure what you mean, how is it my threads seem to be that of a 20-22 year old?

 

but a smart 25 year old woman would be pretty concerned that a 38 year old man didn't have MUCH more life experience than she does.

 

 

Define "life experiences"? Divorced twice? Popping out a couple of kids? I wouldn't think it would be a 25 year olds concern to be quite honest.

[kiss_andmakeup]

I met my boyfriend when I was 20 and he was 31. He has never been married or had kids so it didn't feel weird and I certainly wasn't "grossed" out by him as suggested by other posters. And while he looks very good for his age (most people guess him at around 27-28), he is not even in "abs that cut glass" shape as Sarah1977 suggested. In fact, he's kinda on the chubby side! Our personalities just clicked unlike anything I've ever had with anyone else.

 

My point is just that it can work; today we are 23 & 34 and still very happy together. I think it's rare, though. I have to say, that most of the women I encounter (most, not all) in my age bracket are pretty immature and still have some serious growing up to do.

[Star Gazer]

Define "life experiences"? Divorced twice? Popping out a couple of kids? I wouldn't think it would be a 25 year olds concern to be quite honest.

 

No. Enough experience in life and relationships where they didn't even have to question every single nuance of every person of the opposite sex's behavior. Further, I'd expect a guy who's 38 to be firmly settled and successful in his career, own his own home, have traveled the world, have had significant relationship experience. I would not expect the same of a 25 year old person.

 

When was your last relationship, IRC? How long did it last? What's the longest relationship you've ever been in? What's the average?

 

What about you suggests that you're mentionally and emotionally compatible with an entire group of people who are 13 years younger than you?

[irc333]

Well, even though I haven't traveled the world, I do consider myself succesful in career, but I do not own a home (but, typically a bachelor wouldn't own a home - live in an apartment, and due to the recession, the economy, etc....well, all you have to do is turn on a TV or read a newspaper to know what's going on as of late)

 

I have been in the military (not stationed over seas)

 

Though, I am embarassed to say, I do admit it HAS been a while since I've been in a relationship, probably since my late 20's....so yes, it's been a while....I wish I could have found someone by now, but it wasn't in the stars I guess?

 

I'm guessing that it could be geographic location, I live in a somewhat rural area...where most people wind up starting families and getting married young (typically to the people they've dated in HS)

 

So maybe that has something to do with it. I had a friend refer to me as an "innocent" even.....but I"m not perfect either.

 

So, I don't know, Star Gazer....there are just some things I'm ashamed to admit, but I'll admit to it now. Perhaps it wasn't in the stars for me, I suppose?

 

 

 

 

No. Enough experience in life and relationships where they didn't even have to question every single nuance of every person of the opposite sex's behavior. Further, I'd expect a guy who's 38 to be firmly settled and successful in his career, own his own home, have traveled the world, have had significant relationship experience. I would not expect the same of a 25 year old person.

 

When was your last relationship, IRC? How long did it last? What's the longest relationship you've ever been in? What's the average?

 

What about you suggests that you're mentionally and emotionally compatible with an entire group of people who are 13 years younger than you?

[Star Gazer]

There's no shame here, IRC.

 

How long was that last relationship? What's the average length of the relationships you have had?

 

Have you ever considered moving out of your rural area?

[Sarah1977]

Further, I'd expect a guy who's 38 to be firmly settled and successful in his career, own his own home, have traveled the world, have had significant relationship experience. I would not expect the same of a 25 year old person.

 

 

Exactly. One of the guys I'm dating (Yes, I multi date....get the pitch forks!) is a microbiologist, owns his own home, has been married and divorced (No children though), and has had significant life experience already. I feel confident with him that he knows exactly what he wants out of a relationship and he respects true compatibility (and is not just looking for the next hot young girl to screw). He's 38.

 

The OP definitely seems more like....23ish.