how do I know when to give up

[sirweasles]

My wife seems un bothered by the seperation and wont really talk to me instead she just has my oldest daughter talk to me. has it gone to far is she ever goin to come back around

[goingstrong]

Dude, people need a lot more info.

[sirweasles]

ive given more info unfortunatly Im going insane I suffer from PTSD from fighting for my country and the end result is nobody fing cares my wife left me and I cant rely on my daughter becouse she does not deserve that sht but she is the only person in this world that will still talk to me I am trying to hold a good job but it has put me weeks away from seeking help and I cant stand life anymore the only person in this world that could bring me peace now thinks im a wast of time and i feel that though i finally was able to do somthing for myself and finally ble to try for help the world has decided to tell me to f off I want to know if there is a chance no not a chance anymore am I all alone has the only calming force in my life left me how does a person who says they love sombody just up and walk away like it means nothing and then treat them as though they never ment anything to me when i said my vows it ment till death do us part thick or thin sickness and health you fight and you never give up you give it your all and you except that there will be bad years but the good will always out way them I didnt ask to be depressed beyond the point of sanity and i cant change the fact that im human nobody that ive ever meet wants to except the fact that they are screwed up however when you finally do and you finally try to get help and you finally start fixing things why does life reach around and kick you square in the nuts why did my wife leave me my best friend my sanity during what i already knew was goin to be the hardest time in my life I hang on by a thread and am extremly suprized every morning i wake up that im still here I WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMBODY WHO IS LOYAL AND HONEST AND IS A TRUE FIGHTER WOULD THROUGH THAT PERSON THEY SWORE THE OATH OF FOREVER AFTER TO COULD BE SO COLD AND SO UNCARING why is my life filled with fight to loose It makes me sick and it has destroyed my resolve I have lost that human desire for selve preservation the pain I feel all the time is beyond what I ever thought bareable will I ever regain myself will the pain ever end does anybody even fing care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[goingstrong]

I care, but it is hard to read your posts without punctuation. One cannot tell where one thought ends and another begins.

[scatterd]

Have you told her what you have said here.If she wont talk write her.Alot of people have respect for you for fighting for our country but sometimes its hard to see past the pain.Ask her to go have dinner coffee or to movie

if she does be honest with her and let her see you the way she saw you in the beginning.I wish you luck and keep your chin up their is light at the end of the tunnel and that black cloud hanging over you will blow away with time.

[FreeNow]

The anxiety and depression of PTSD can be devastating to the sufferer. That sense of betrayal; alternating between feelings of others betraying you and feelings that you have betrayed yourself can lead to apathy; a sense of not caring. That drives a perception that nobody else cares.

 

You most certainly aren't going insane. Remind yourself of that. I'm about 9ish years out from onset of PTSD symptoms and I can wholeheartedly shout to you, "Seek treatment and don't give up... ever!"

 

Believe it or not, the situation with your wife can improve if you continue to seek treatment. If you don't get treatment, your life will likely be too unstable.

 

 

There IS hope, dear sirweasles. You cannot abandon the fight for recovery. Get in a program and give it everything you've got. When (notice WHEN, not if) you begin to recover, your daughter will see this and your wife will know. I wish you well and will post a few of some quotes that helped me over the years... perhaps they might help you a bit.

 

---------------------------

 

Never look back. Always look forward. I learned that lesson from my dad. I asked him, a Holocaust survivor, why he never complained about having lost his teenage years and his entire family. He replied, “The Nazis took five years from my life. I won’t give them one minute more. Martin, never look back; always look forward.” We’ve all had bad things happen to us, but my most successful clients do not wallow. They always ask themselves, “What’s the next positive little step I can take.” I can offer you no better advice.

http://www.martynemko.com/articles/never-look-back_id1511

 

---------------------------

 

“Even if my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will take me in.”

Psalm 27:10

---------------------------

 

I'd rather be a failure at something I love, then be a success at something I hate.

George Burns

 

---------------------------

Will of the Soul

 

One ship sails east, and another west

With the same winds that blow;

 

‘Tis the set of the sails and not the gales

That decides the way we go.

 

Like the winds of the sea

are the way of fate

 

As they voyage along through life;

‘Tis the will of the soul that decides its goals

And not the calm or the strife.

 

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

 

---------------------------

 

A fellow warrior, helmet off, standing on the edge of truth and looking down...

Regroup! Helmet on, shield up.. sword at the ready!

They who accuse, belittle, & emasculate you, hanging huge question marks over you, and over all you do and say;

..Are they Friend or Foe?

Love them or no, when you have fallen,

have they helped you up, or walked away?

What happened when you were trusting and relaxed your guard?

This is where those question marks belong, and should stay.

 

Please turn that sword on all those doubts and lies instead of on yourself, brave knight

[sirweasles]

I care, but it is hard to read your posts without punctuation. One cannot tell where one thought ends and another begins. "quote"

 

You see how my mind works I can not finish a thought most times before the next one has already over taken I do appaligize I know better than to get drunk but it is inviting and in my current situation its the best way to get out of my room and hang out around other people unfortunatly I always end up back in my room lol. I apreciate you all for responding and bein nice about it I was in one of my worse moments last night I wish that I could control them but i find it doesnt matter anymore drunk sober in between they have been more frequent and less controled I guess the good thing is that I have found an outlet maybe I should start putting my thoughts to a word pad where Im not being a raving lunitic for all to see.

 

and I have tried everything to get my wife to talk to listen to care If I write anything other than have a good day or respond to a question she ignors me or tells me to quit freaking out I and 13 hundred miles away from her at the moment and when I am done here I have to go back to my home office which is 7 hundred miles away from her it was a job move and my wife and kids were suppossed to be joining me at the end of the school year of which she has made very clear now that they are not doing.

 

Thank you for the support and let me ask how well can they help with PTSD symptoms is the rest of my life goin to be a rollercoaster.

[sjguy408]

honestly bro, my advice to you is to drop her man. just forget about her and move on with some one else... some one that deserves you. if she is going to quit on you during the hard times, why does she deserve you during the good times? go get a woman that will love you unconditionally, some one that honors a man that has fought for his country. this woman clearly does not deserve you, but when she finds out it might be too late. karma is a bitch bro.

[FreeNow]

I can not finish a thought most times before the next one has already over taken

 

That's the anxiety. The same thing was happening with me. It is causing all sorts of side effects with your body as well as your thoughts.

 

Thank you for the support and let me ask how well can they help with PTSD symptoms is the rest of my life goin to be a rollercoaster.

 

Yes, treatment for PTSD can work well even while your life is a roller coaster. Conversely, that roller coaster might get worse or not stop until treatment takes hold.

 

You may have to put some of the rest of your life on the back burner (i.e. your marriage) and focus on PTSD treatment. My life was devastated when I began treatment; wife was cheating like a mofo, lost my career, our house, etc. Things are doing really well now, but if I hadn't sought and kept at treatment, I'd probably be fertilizer long before now. If the PTSD effects on my body wouldn't have gotten me, self medicating and/or rash actions would have.

 

For me, getting PTSD under treatment was key to getting the rest of life properly under way; not the other way around. It was all pretty much gonna be screwed as long as the PTSD symptoms were present.

[sirweasles]

honestly bro, my advice to you is to drop her man. just forget about her and move on with some one else... some one that deserves you. if she is going to quit on you during the hard times, why does she deserve you during the good times? go get a woman that will love you unconditionally, some one that honors a man that has fought for his country. this woman clearly does not deserve you, but when she finds out it might be too late. karma is a bitch bro.

 

I apreciate the Idea however I cant shut my feelings for her off she is the most perfect and the most beautiful woman Ive ever met and as I have said previously I believe full heartedly in the vows I took the day she became my wife If she decides to end it then I will have to conceed until then Im a fighter I have fought tooth and nail for everything I have ever had and I have been fighting the very brink of nothingness for the last 2 years I will fight so that my kids dont have to visit daddy at some other home aith some other woman. I was told once the best way to gauge how you feel about sombody is to imagine them with sombody else or try too If the thought makes you so ill that you cant hold onto it then you are not ready to give up. I do believe however that if you hold onto someone that has already been with another while married to you and done this more than just one time then you will never have the trust or the beliefs to sustain the relation ship further becouse number one you can now imagine them with another and you arnt really that ill. My wife is a very loyal and honest person so that has not become any issue in my problems atleast lol

[sirweasles]

I have 2 more weeks until I am able to get into the V.A clinic my appt. is set and as I knew it would be this wait till then has been the hardest time of my life if everything is falling apart mentaly you can always count on worse to happen while you wait for the hopes of help. I believe it is trial by fire you will never escape unburned but you can escape and thats what I am fighting through now the emotional scars being scourched into me now may never fully heal but as long as they are only scars and the flame does not consume me life will go on.

[FreeNow]

You're on the right heading. Stay the course.

 

My heart goes out to you in your time of struggle and hardship. You've made it this far, you'll make it all the way.

[sirweasles]

thanks hey can anybody tell me how a person can make it look so easy to just stop loving its tough I guess I want to know how my wife can just go from careing to not careing just like that. or make it seem as such

[sirweasles]

I think I just ended it with my wife wish me luck over the next 2 weeks i think im gonna need it

[willowthewisp]

I think I just ended it with my wife wish me luck over the next 2 weeks i think im gonna need it

 

What happened?

[sirweasles]

O I called her at 4am this morning and accused her of cheating on me which she proffeses she hasnt but most of all becouse i have been going through an episode since last night and have only been able to doze for about an hour since I kept her awake till 2am and woke her up at 4am she was extremly pissed off at me but she is talking to me now so we will see what happens. My wifes father is a great man and my wife idolizes him so she strives to be the best she can be but she is human and makes mistakes I have fought against her continuos attempts to get myself help and so when I finally did go for help she left me 5 days later being seperated do to my job she was unaware that I had already started the process so she beleived that the only reason i started trying to get help was becouse she left me I hope that we can work things out I know she still loves me and I absolutly worship the grund she walks on so I keep my hopes and pray for the outcome i want.