AlwaYs257 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Me and my Girlfriend have known each other for years,and have been together about that time. Around about 3 months ago my girlfriend left me for a guy she met at camp,i know,it's kinda cliche. Long story short after a month of separation,she came back,after finding out that the guy only used her to get what he wanted and then ditched her,after alot of thinking,we decided to give it another go,because in each other's eyes it was worth another shot. Things have gone well so far untill recently,the guy who used her comes back outta the blue and is talking to her again,she claims it's innocent and all he wants to be is friends,but learning from another mutual friend who knows the guy,he says he has different intentions. So basically me and my gf have been arguing lately because of that,leading to a big arguement,and tiny spats here and there,she's always sad now,and it's coz of me,and i have no idea what else to do,should I give her space? and i'm afraid if I do,wont she drift closer to that guy? Can anyone give any suggestions on what I can do to save this,as we both agreed we want this to work,she just doesnt know wether it is atm. thanks
PegNosePete Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 She clearly still has feelings for this guy. If he used and abused her then she should have absolutely no interest is being friends with him. It is completely inappropriate for her to remain friends with a guy she left you for. She is totally disrespecting your feelings. She is not sad cos of you, she is sad cos of her own actions which have caused, and are still perpetuating, this situation. You need to tell her that if she has any hopes of working continuing a relationship with you, she needs to cut this guy out completely, starting right now. If she refuses then she obviously cares more about this guy than you, so cut her loose and find someone who will respect you.
Author AlwaYs257 Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 I already asked her that,and I know it's out of order,but she does love me,and it's only him who still has feelings for her,she genuinely just wants to be friends,but I can understand the guilt she must be having,and I can understand that even though she wont admit it,there's still something in there for that guy,else she wouldnt even be talking to him,but what matters is she's with me.
PegNosePete Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 (edited) Dude you seem to have not read what I wrote, or rather read it selectively and added some of her pathetic excuses in with it... If he used and abused her then she should have absolutely no interest is being friends with him. It is completely inappropriate for her to remain friends with a guy she left you for. If she has guilt then why is she not doing everything she possibly can to prove to you that what she says is true? As in, telling this guy to F*CK OFF? Seriously man. When a woman says one thing but does another, there is only one explanation. She is lying to you (and/or herself). It's ultimatum time, tell her NC with this guy is a non-negotiable condition of your continued relationship. Edited November 26, 2010 by PegNosePete
Am4Real Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 AlwaYs257, Read both of PEGNOSEPETE’s earlier posts to you over and over and over…best advice is being given to you that hopefully make good sense. Sorry to be blunt, however “PETE’s” words are well stated.
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