SumaraiRod Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 (edited) I met this woman 6 years ago and at the time she was in a relationship with one of my cousin's friend. They were engaged but something happened (unrelated to my affair with her), the wedding got cancelled and she broke it off with him. She seem to be the only woman understanding my problems on why I could never get a date during my high school years and my failure attemps when asking girls out. I was a changed man around her as the once extremely shy boy disappeared. During 1 whole year we would spend almost every day at her house and it was around this time I fell in love. I wanted her but she was engaged at the time. Though there were times she would informed me about leaving him. A couple months later the wedding got cancelled and that would be the last I would see her again. She kept saying she'll be back but never returned. Forward: I was at a bar 2 weeks ago with my friends and there she was again. One thing led to another and it starts happening again. We're talking more often now but seems she doesn't want to make this exclusive but is ok with FWB I have been waiting all these years. She was always on my mind and couldn't simply forget her. I couldn't have sex with other women because it wasn't her. I was going to eventually as my friends kept telling me to forget about her but I can't now that she's in my live again. Should I just forget her and pretend she never existed? Or keep this going on and hope she'll one day accept me as her boyfriend at least? Edited November 26, 2010 by SumaraiRod
Author SumaraiRod Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 (edited) I really can't get her out of my mind even after all this time slipped by. When we had sex again it brought back those years. I was then 21 years old. Will she ever be my girlfriend? Or is it me wasting time on a woman who doesn't want to commit to me? Edited November 26, 2010 by SumaraiRod
lkjh Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Im confused by your story. So you did you start hooking up with her while she was engaged? Next she broke it off with her fiance and then cuts you off? Next you see her out and nothing happens?
Author SumaraiRod Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 Im confused by your story. So you did you start hooking up with her while she was engaged? Next she broke it off with her fiance and then cuts you off? Next you see her out and nothing happens?Correct, I had an affair with her while she was engaged. After I saw her two weeks ago, we had sex again. We are now talking again and just did her a couple hours ago but seems she will not commit to me. She is ok with just FWB (friends with benefit).
Author SumaraiRod Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 So what should I do? I can't get her out of my mind? It seems unlikely she'll commit to me or should I still give it some time and just continue being with her in the FWB status?
PegNosePete Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 If she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you. If you want to carry on FWB then go for it. But do not have a serious relationship with this woman.
tesh87 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 As hard as it will be I really think you need to try and move on from this girl. You cant make a person love you no matter how much you love her. I think you should maybe go to councilling just to sort out your self esteem problems and learn to allow other women into your life. The right women could be right in front of you but your not allowing yourself to see because your still so hung up with this girl. You never know maybe one day she might decide you are the guy for her but until that day (that unlikely day by the sounds of it) you need to meet knew ppl. You could be missing out on so much!
lekker01234 Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 There are 2 things to think about. 1) She may just be sexually attrated to you and not emotionally. I have found that if you give the woman space and give her time and let her come to you it will be a lot more effective. Let her call you and just be there to listen to her. 2) If by now she isn't into having a reltionship with you then I doubt that one will ever transpire. As hard as it is to understand you have to remember that she was engaged once and then broke it off, this could mean that she has issues with committment. Give her time, don't change the routine. Let her feel you out. If she is having sex with you then your already ahead of the game. Time will tell and don't get yourself emotionally involved anymore. It could be she has this fantasy world that you are a part of and she knows when to switch it off and on. This you need to be able to do as well. If anything, at least your getting laid
Author SumaraiRod Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 lekker01234 how much time should I give her now? I'm already 27 years old and it seems she will not refer me as her boyfriend. I should have met more women during those years she cut off contact with me but in my mind, she was there the whole time. Why is it I'm so hang up to this woman? Is this because she is the only one I ever slept with (she knew about this the very first time we did it)?
Author SumaraiRod Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 You never know maybe one day she might decide you are the guy for her but until that day (that unlikely day by the sounds of it) you need to meet knew ppl. You could be missing out on so much!Believe me my friends have been trying introduce me to different women and I wasn't interest in none of them. I was depressed back then so no matter how attractive they were, it would be useless. I'm going to extend some time but if she doesn't decide, this mean I have to move on and meet a woman that's interest in a relationship. Though it will be hard letting her go.
tesh87 Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 I feel for you it would be hard to love someone so much and not have them love you back
shayan Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 dude you've spent way too long thinking about this girl... you realize that as long as she is in your life you'll be obsessed. The kind of love you have for her is unhealthy. Either you pull back and just see how things work out between you too or get your ass out and actually mourn this girl so you can let her go. Pick yourself up a bit to you sound like you've been feeling like a sad puppy since you were 21, come on man... and don't let this girl play with you like you're a mouse. what i'm saying is act like a man.
Author SumaraiRod Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 I feel for you it would be hard to love someone so much and not have them love you backIt is and I'm having one of the saddest moment again. I already dealt with not seeing her all these years but after finding her again, it feels as if I got rejected once again. dude you've spent way too long thinking about this girl... you realize that as long as she is in your life you'll be obsessed. The kind of love you have for her is unhealthy. Either you pull back and just see how things work out between you too or get your ass out and actually mourn this girl so you can let her go. Pick yourself up a bit to you sound like you've been feeling like a sad puppy since you were 21, come on man... and don't let this girl play with you like you're a mouse. what i'm saying is act like a man.Shayan she was my first (gave it away to her the day she cheated on her then fiance) so it's not easy for me to just forget it. I kept hoping my time would be spend with her and one day we would settle down. I was living in my own imaginary world. Tomorrow will be a new day for me though it won't be easy but I have to move on. You say it, I have been a sad puppy since I was 21.
shayan Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 I'm proud of you broski, take care and shoot me a message if you ever need advice getting through this time.
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