Neats Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 hi everyone, My name is Anita. I've never joined a forum before... Quick background - I've been in a long distance relationship with the love of my life for about a year.. It's hard but he's totally worth it. never done the LDR thing before tho - it has LOTS of unique challenges! We have been completing all these little challenges recently which was a fun thing to do together and bonding (like writing each other poems, and describing how we met).. what else helps?!
Grobyc Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 hi everyone, My name is Anita. I've never joined a forum before... Quick background - I've been in a long distance relationship with the love of my life for about a year.. It's hard but he's totally worth it. never done the LDR thing before tho - it has LOTS of unique challenges! We have been completing all these little challenges recently which was a fun thing to do together and bonding (like writing each other poems, and describing how we met).. what else helps?! We had the idea to send letters to each other, a letter is a letter. So I thought to make it interesting we would send an item to each other within each letter. Just something small it doesn't matter what it could be.
Gwendolyn Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I agree, sending little surprises now and then is a wonderful idea. I particularly loved it when my LDR sent me a t-shirt he had worn. It smelt like him and I must have wore it to bed for a week.
aerogurl87 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Welcome to LS. For me what helps is focusing on the future at this point. I'm in nesting mode sort of at the moment, lol. There's a chance my boyfriend and I may be living together alot sooner than we anticipated so I've been going out of my way to buy stuff for our apartment, mentally group things together in boxes, and things like that. It helps to get rid of the bad feelings associated with a LDR (ex. loneliness and sadness) and brings us closer together. Although I'm sure he's happy I finally got this one cookware set I've been going on about for the past week or so, lol. But yeah, talk about your visits alot and what your plans for the future are. And if you have no real plan, then maybe start talking about ways to get to a point where you can end the distance. Also, maybe send gifts like everyone else said. Or if that's really expensive and you can't do that frequently, maybe send each other cute e-cards declaring your love for one another or a heartfelt email.
folieadeux Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 Welcome aboard!! I agree with the posters above me. No matter what you decide to do, just make sure that you both are making your relationship priority and everything will eventually sort itself out. The biggest help to me is to plan visits and an eventual end to the distance.
Author Neats Posted November 27, 2010 Author Posted November 27, 2010 Thanks so much for the inspiration. We have planned visits yes, but we dont have the "light at the end of the tunnel" of an eventual end to our LDR. I think that is what frustrates me the most - that this could potentially go on FOREVER. and scares me too - one of us will eventually have to leave their family, friends, work, home, to live together. I worry about one of us being resentful and using it against each other in fights...
LittleTiger Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 Hi Anita, welcome to LS. You couldn't have picked a better place to help you through the rough times which, as you know, are bound to happen in LDRs. One thing I would recommend you do is forget about 'this could go on FOREVER'. It couldn't, it can't and it won't. At some point something will change whether by accident or design, that's the way of the world. My SO and I don't have a definite date for being together full time. It may be 5 years it may be 10 or maybe it will be sooner. Putting a 'forever' timescale on things will only make you feel worse so always focus on the positive. :laugh: Sorry, just had to laugh there at my own advice on staying positive! Just realised I don't always practise what I preach!
Author Neats Posted November 27, 2010 Author Posted November 27, 2010 thanks for keeping me focused on the positive! I know, in my head, that's what I should be doing, but sometimes I just get a bit bratty about it all. You're right tho - he offers me SO much that the distance is worth it. I know it. I just wish he were around at the end of a long day, or on a Sunday, or at weddings, to BE with me. I will stay positive. YOU TOO!
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