irc333 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 In lieu of a past message posted here.... .....they really don't want to be ANY kind of "Friend" to you at all, right? I've noticed this with some women, sometimes it's an actual outright lie. Once they friendzone with you, it's actually a code meaning. "I told you I want to be friends, but don't call, email, nor IM me anymore" Well, after being FZ'ed, I have noticed they stop returning calls or even occasional "What's up with you lately" emails. So it's not like they ever REALLY wanted to even be friends. Guys, ever notice this?
phineas Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I've never been traditionally freindzoned. I've hung out with women that said "let's just be friends" & I was able to just do that. Then they'd wind up wanting to date me. If I was dateing someone & they gave me the "let's just be friends" I tried being friends but they would just use me. So I'm no longer friends with ex's.
Author irc333 Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 Yeah, in my case, they tell you "I don't think of you in that way, I just want to be friends" and then don't return calls or emails. lol I think it's just a generic way of trying to get you to move on...and have no interaction with them whatsoever. I've never been traditionally freindzoned. I've hung out with women that said "let's just be friends" & I was able to just do that. Then they'd wind up wanting to date me. If I was dateing someone & they gave me the "let's just be friends" I tried being friends but they would just use me. So I'm no longer friends with ex's.
lee123 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Well last week, i got the 'friend thing' from my ex. I went along with it, never messages, calls anything. They don't really care, so i went for NC, she wanted me back, got with her, told her i don't feel the same, not i'v not heard from her in two days. Basically the friend thing is. I actually don't like you anymore, get out of my life
lovebitme Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Well last week, i got the 'friend thing' from my ex. I went along with it, never messages, calls anything. They don't really care, so i went for NC, she wanted me back, got with her, told her i don't feel the same, not i'v not heard from her in two days. Basically the friend thing is. I actually don't like you anymore, get out of my life Going through the same thing. Except I was the one to give the friend thing to her first. I saw that things weren't going so well so I beat her to it. I wonder if girls take it the same way guys do? "like get out of my life"?. Anyway, I told her I'd love to be friends and then went no contact. She contacted me a week later like nothing had happened and was very flirty with me. I gave her the friend thing in order to back off and not smother her. I know at this point any more effort on my part will be counter productive.
lee123 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 When you take a stand and go for nc, they come back to you because they know what they've lost. However i got back with her, it doesn't feel the same :/ . Now she's NC me for days, so i guess its over, god knows. Women expect us to be mind readers. Best thing to do is just move on mate, if she contacts you and your happy just being friends, tell her that Good luck
Author irc333 Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 I had a situation where a woman FZ'ed me because she thought I had the hots for her (which I did)...and I accepted that and lost touch myself, figured why pursue here, when I have other prospects. One night she calls me up and wanted to join me and her friend to go dancing at a nightclub, and I was like "Um, why?" I guess maybe to fend off club creeps or something I dunno. She was even flirty with me at times AFTER she FZ'ed me, why? Because I lost touch, she admittedly said she "Missed my attention" after I stopped giving it to her. So she wound up trying to get flirty with me to get me "back in her life" Then she got married, and then SHE lost touch. lol
lovebitme Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I had a situation where a woman FZ'ed me because she thought I had the hots for her (which I did)...and I accepted that and lost touch myself, figured why pursue here, when I have other prospects. One night she calls me up and wanted to join me and her friend to go dancing at a nightclub, and I was like "Um, why?" I guess maybe to fend off club creeps or something I dunno. She was even flirty with me at times AFTER she FZ'ed me, why? Because I lost touch, she admittedly said she "Missed my attention" after I stopped giving it to her. So she wound up trying to get flirty with me to get me "back in her life" Then she got married, and then SHE lost touch. lol Yeah that's the thing, these type of girls are unlikely to change. If my girl comes back around I'm sure it won't be long before she backs off on me again. I'd give it another shot but I won't go around three times. If we try again there are some things I would do different, so maybe that will make the difference.
sagetalk Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Yeah, in my case, they tell you "I don't think of you in that way, I just want to be friends" and then don't return calls or emails. lol I think it's just a generic way of trying to get you to move on...and have no interaction with them whatsoever. Somehow it makes them feel good about themselves, I have no idea why. If they just said, "I'm not attracted to you, sorry" I would like it way more. The friendzone thing is just too heartless and cruel.
shayan Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 don't ever be friends with someone you want to be with romantically. it's just common sense
Mad Max Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Those women want what they can't have. Go NC and ignore them, suddenly they want you. Give them a minimal amount of attention, then they back off.
lovebitme Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Those women want what they can't have. Go NC and ignore them, suddenly they want you. Give them a minimal amount of attention, then they back off. Yeah you got that right! I'm NC and just friends with a girl but my intentions are to get her back. So far she's starting to come around again but we'll see if anything develops. Normally I would just launch but she doesn't seem like the type of girl who plays games. Seems really honest actually, so I just want one more shot at it. I think I was too clingy and available the first time around so part of it could be my fault that I smothered slightly. We'll see.
phineas Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 (edited) Yeah, in my case, they tell you "I don't think of you in that way, I just want to be friends" and then don't return calls or emails. lol I think it's just a generic way of trying to get you to move on...and have no interaction with them whatsoever. Honestly, once I experienced a woman that totally wanted me & was attracted to me & couldn't wait to bed me I lost my desire to be with women that don't act that way towards me. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. But, if their a cool chick that won't cock block me or try to suck up my time & energy looking for attention I have no problem being friends. It's when they change their mind things seem to get screwed up. Edited November 26, 2010 by phineas
CLS63AMG Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Another utterly confused thread. If you have been dating for some time and she says that to you, its over, move along. If you are courting her and screw up, you'll also land in the friend zone and she may very well want to be friends but dont confuse the two because they are different. The other mass-confusion threads around here are "friends with benefits" Sorry, if you go on dates, kiss, hold hands in public and go on dates in between sex, you're in a relationship without a label. FWB dont touch or talk to each other unless its in the sack or setting up in-the-sack time.
Star Gazer Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 In lieu of a past message posted here.... .....they really don't want to be ANY kind of "Friend" to you at all, right? I've noticed this with some women, sometimes it's an actual outright lie. Once they friendzone with you, it's actually a code meaning. "I told you I want to be friends, but don't call, email, nor IM me anymore" I think you're misusing the term "friendzoned." Being friendzoned means that she puts you in the legitimate-friends category, not the potential-boyfriend category. This usually comes from a lack of physical spark but a great friendship-like connection. But unlike what you've been experiencing, when a gal friendzones you, she still DOES want to see you, hangout with you, etc. If you've been told that they just want to be friends, and they behave in a manner which tells you that they never want to hear from/see you ever again, you haven't been friendzoned. You've been...LAUNCHED. (Hate that word, but that's what it is.)
paleblue Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Guys, ever notice this? Yup, that's why I don't bother wasting my time anymore contacting people like this.
nice-easy-day Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I think you're misusing the term "friendzoned." Being friendzoned means that she puts you in the legitimate-friends category, not the potential-boyfriend category. This usually comes from a lack of physical spark but a great friendship-like connection. But unlike what you've been experiencing, when a gal friendzones you, she still DOES want to see you, hangout with you, etc. If you've been told that they just want to be friends, and they behave in a manner which tells you that they never want to hear from/see you ever again, you haven't been friendzoned. You've been...LAUNCHED. (Hate that word, but that's what it is.) That makes sense. Gosh, I recently was FZ'ed and it really sucks!!! I'm still working on getting back to the b/f category but I know it's usually a waste of time. It seems to me that being friend zoned is much more common in relationships that haven't had time to develop. I mean, guys, how common is it that after you had sex with a girl that she friend zones you versus launches you?
EasyHeart Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I think people generally can and do use different definitions of "friends" and "friendzone", hence the confusion. I think that generally if you start dating someone and she says "Let's just be friends" it's her way of being "nice" by not actually telling you she's not interested. The world would be a lot better place if people were just honest, but a lot of people prefer lying to telling the truth because it is easier on them, even if it's harder on you. But if you meet a person who happens to be a woman and you genuinely want to be friends (with neither of you harboring a secret desire for sexy-time), then the 'friendzone' is not a bad place to be.
Author irc333 Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 LOL...try BEFORE having sex....that she FZ'es ya That makes sense. Gosh, I recently was FZ'ed and it really sucks!!! I'm still working on getting back to the b/f category but I know it's usually a waste of time. It seems to me that being friend zoned is much more common in relationships that haven't had time to develop. I mean, guys, how common is it that after you had sex with a girl that she friend zones you versus launches you?
nice-easy-day Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 LOL...try BEFORE having sex....that she FZ'es ya Exactly. I never made out with this girl that FZ'ed me. That's why I'm thinking it might be worth being friends. We don't have any bad baggage with each other and I can honestly believe she does want to be friends versus...."she's just being nice but wants me to get lost".
reservoirdog1 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 In lieu of a past message posted here.... .....they really don't want to be ANY kind of "Friend" to you at all, right? I've noticed this with some women, sometimes it's an actual outright lie. Once they friendzone with you, it's actually a code meaning. "I told you I want to be friends, but don't call, email, nor IM me anymore" Well, after being FZ'ed, I have noticed they stop returning calls or even occasional "What's up with you lately" emails. So it's not like they ever REALLY wanted to even be friends. Guys, ever notice this? I think the above is usually true. But not always. About six years ago, I went on a coffee date with a woman I'd met online. Prior to that we'd talked on the phone and really hit it off. It just didn't translate into in-person, however. Long story short, we didn't go on a second date, but she said she'd like us to be friends. Sure, whatever, I thought. Anyway, a few days later, she called me on a Saturday morning to ask my opinion on something. We talked for two hours, met up for lunch, and hung out for most of the day. The result of that day was that we became really close friends for the next two years. We'd hang out, get together in groups, talk about who we were dating, everything. Nothing physical ever happened between us. After those two years we drifted apart quite a bit, but we're still FB friends and bump into each other occasionally.
dispatch3d Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I don't mind them the ones who flirt with you then decline invites.... Seriously want them to swim in a grease fire. l;aksjd;lkjasdf haha seriously tho, if your interested cool, if you're not cool, but stop ****ing with me. I feel like just not hitting on any girl who hits on me cause they piss me off.
Author irc333 Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 Get this, I talked to this woman on the phone from POF, we were flirting in chat, and we talked for an hour on the phone....later on, when I IM her, I ask her if she'd like to get together. And she said, "Well, after talking to you on the phone, I decided that I think we have nothing in common, but we can still be friends" I was kinda taken aback, but I thought we had some chemistry (maybe she got cold feet, I dunno) But wasn't so worked up about it I guess, but it did kind of have me miffed, because in my initial email she sent me I really long reply. In fact, well, at first, she sent me an email stating she'd email me later, and about 3 days later, she DID email me the long email. After thanksgiving, I emailed her asking how her thanksgiving was, and she goes, "Who is this?" I was like WTF? Don't you remember anymore? We talked on the phone for an hour! LOL" Anyhow, I gave FURTHER clarification on "Who I was" specifically, giving content of our previosu conversations , "This is <name> we met on POF, we talked to each other an hour over the phone and you sent me "this this and this picture"" Got no reply to that one after I clarified who I was....the b*tch snubbed me.
Author irc333 Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 What I like to do, as an experiment, is call a woman bluff that FZ'ed me.....if she says, "We can get together as friends." And I say, "Sure, how about we get together on Sat night at <whatever place>?" And right there they blow you off, then you continue to offer alternative dates...and they still blow it off. That means they never even wanted to be your friend...so it's all moot.
nice-easy-day Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 What I like to do, as an experiment, is call a woman bluff that FZ'ed me.....if she says, "We can get together as friends." And I say, "Sure, how about we get together on Sat night at <whatever place>?" And right there they blow you off, then you continue to offer alternative dates...and they still blow it off. That means they never even wanted to be your friend...so it's all moot. That would work unless she's been telling you that she is busy. That's the problem I have. She's always busy, but has the time to flirt with me in texts, phone and online. Pisses me off. So I went no contact. She found me on IM and was all flirty. I think with girls like this you need to back off and let them chase you for awhile. If they don't chase then they never were interested in the first place. And can you believe the girl who is doing this to me is 30? I expect it with girls in their early 20's but someone like her, if she does it to all the guys is going to end up alone someday.
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