Its.not.too.late Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 This is the new changes since my last and first post. I need some advice or thoughts.. Ok so we made amends and are back together. However things are different and unusual. I learned she left me because of pressuring from a certain guy. Well ever since she started to hang out with these people, she's quite literally become a cold-hearted bitch. She is rude, inconsiderate and crude. Despite us being together again, she still throws the guy she left me for. Idk why this is, but it is. Lastly, she has told other people that it was her mistake for choosing to leave, but with me, she still blames me for everything and "that you should be lucky to be back with me seeing how there are sooo many guys who wanna be with me!" I love this girl, but will she always be like this? I just hope that she cam see past egos, anger, money and materialistically desired items. She never was like this (other than her golddigger attitude about having money and goods) I want this to last. I faught so hard to reconcile our relationship and work through the hard things. I want her to feel treated right, but I fear abuse. Any thoughts, advice and/or suggestions.
Author Its.not.too.late Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 My spelling. I'm trying to type, cook, clean and make sure I don't ruin my iPhone or my turkey. So I apologize for the poor grammar and spelling.
Gt.ooh Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 Well, she may not always be like that; however, have u actually sat down and talked about what went wrong/is wrong...and what you 2 should do together to fix it...it has to be a team effort. Good luck, keep us posted.
Surfer203 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 Now this.. this I would not put up with, F*** her.. you do your best to accept her back and make things work and then she treats you like S***. Kick her to the curb.
SmileyGirl Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I agree. She is being completely disrespectful and you are allowing her to walk all over you. One of the hardest things in the world for me personally to understand is that people CHANGE. You deserve better. Kick her to the curb. Good Luck!
Perhaps Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 she's quite literally become a cold-hearted bitch. She is rude, inconsiderate and crude. Despite us being together again, she still throws the guy she left me for. Idk why this is, but it is. Lastly, she has told other people that it was her mistake for choosing to leave, but with me, she still blames me for everything and "that you should be lucky to be back with me seeing how there are sooo many guys who wanna be with me!" Any thoughts, advice and/or suggestions. Thoughts: i completely understand what it feels like to work so hard for something and then realize maybe it's not the best for you. but you can't back off because you you've put so much effort into the whole thing. in the field of finance, we call this a sunk cost. when making financial decisions, sunk costs aren't taken into account. what is taken into account is how much more it will take to get to where you want to be. at this point, you're willing to do anything to make this work. she can't even treat you right. who the hell wants to hear "you should be lucky to be back with me seeing how there are sooo many guys who wanna be with me!" from the person they would do anything for? Not me. not going to lie, a year ago, i would have done anything to get my ex's attention - staying up till 3 doing her assignments while she slept at 12, taking crap from her friends, her weed smoking, and her giving out her number to other guys. oh, and her talking to her ex. at some point, you have to realize that you can't change someone. at best, the person can try to change him/herself for you. but i wouldn't want that - ideally, we want someone who will change for themselves. Advice: you're not going to like it. next time when she says "you should be lucky to be back with me seeing how there are sooo many guys who wanna be with me!", you tell her to stop acting like a princess. you deserve AT LEAST the same respect and affection that you so liberally throw her way. i would just tell her to go find a better guy if she wants to - no one is stopping her. you don't need that kind of crap in your life. love is blind.
wicar1 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 dude, just dump her. Trust me on this she's gonna hurt you real bad if she's with you. She's not the last woman on earth.
commonlife Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 +1 to wicar1 It is hard but get out of there as fast as you can. Some of you know my story. I tried everything to make it right with her, she would come and go at will. What was the consequence? me hurting like hell while she was taking a blast having fun (always without me). So don't go on this path, don't make the same mistake I made, just go, you will hurt but it will pass, it always does. Don't wast your time, your energy and you sanity.
reknown29 Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 I'm in a similar situation though we havned gotten back officially yet. I can see it leading to what you are talking about. I really love this girl and just holding her seems to make all my internal pain go away but she is stubborn self centered and unwilling to take any responsibility for the failure of our realtionship. She has been reaching to blame things on me (eg bringing up things like washing dishes etc. petty things cause thats all she can come up with). As much as I want this girl and I literally would probably die for her under certain situations... but I dont think I want to have her as the mother of my child. Basically, we are both being mentally abused. Its hard to see cause were the guys... Dont get with the person. You may find yourself down the road with a divorce, abused children, and all your belognings gone. I hate to be negative but I see signs of this in what you are talking about and what I am going through. There may be some abuse in her own background...
PegNosePete Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 She will treat you like this as long as you let her. Grow a pair man.
Fufu Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 It's not love, it's addiction. You need to break away from her no matter how hard it is for you now. However, if you want to try if she is serious in getting back with you, talk to her, ask her directly if she is serious in this relationship. If she says, "No" or "I donno", do what you need to do, break away from this relationship. Do you want a woman who does not takes responsibility for the failed relationship? Do you want a woman who only push all the blame to you? Do you want a woman that don't show you respect? (Based on what you saidm I don't think she is showing you any respect)
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