murah989 Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 I've been on three wonderful dates with an extremely balanced and well adjusted women ( which is great seeing as i have the worst luck ). My only problem is that after most dates when all is said and done, I tend to rewind in my head the entire date and start over analyzing everything! My date has expressed interest and just when I think I've lost her she comes back to me...For example 1. If we can't meet up a certain day she offers alternatives 2. When asked if shes interested in me or not, she tells me to " you're coming on too strong, but calm down and stop worrying =P" 3. A few smooches here and there. Yet 2 or 3 insignificant things bother me like crazy!! How can I stop doing this to myself and just be happy that she likes me!?
youaretheone Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 Please never ask a woman if she is interested in you or not. First, it kills all the attraction and the nature of things. Second, it shows that you seek somebodys approval, which is a display of low value. My advise is, just act like you are having fun with a friend with some flirting, bantering and physical escalation added. If you are relaxed, the girl you are dating will get the vibe and she will also be comfortable around you.
shayan Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 (edited) the above is true, never seek approval. however, it's totally ok to ask someone how they feel about you? Just don't do it right away. In fact checking their actions and vibe is a much better indicator of how they feel about you. Listen, I'll tell youhow to stop worrying. Be your effing self and don't worry about how other women percieve you, the right one will enjoy you for what you are. Let them be responsible for how they percieve you. And let you be responsible for being yourself. That way when you are reviewing your dates you're not scrutinizing details and effing things up foryourself from the get go. it's that simple Edited November 26, 2010 by shayan
humanracer25 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 the above is true, never seek approval. however, it's totally ok to ask someone how they feel about you? Just don't do it right away. In fact checking their actions and vibe is a much better indicator of how they feel about you. Listen, I'll tell youhow to stop worrying. Be your effing self and don't worry about how other women percieve you, the right one will enjoy you for what you are. Let them be responsible for how they percieve you. And let you be responsible for being yourself. That way when you are reviewing your dates you're not scrutinizing details and effing things up foryourself from the get go. it's that simple Hi mate thanks for your advice, it is actually spot on. At the end of you the day you have to live with someone 24/7 in a relationship so they have to actually like you as you normally are. If a girl doesn't like you then move on and find another who does. I think a lot of energy is wasted in actually trying or forcing a relationship with girls who may not like you. It should be "if you like me great, if not your loss but good luck". It is good advice and worth remembering if a date does not go well. Cheers buddy.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 You can usually tell when a date went well when you don't have to analyse every little detail. There should be none of "why did she do that" or "why did she say that". You just have a great time and get wrapped up in each other.
Author murah989 Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 Hi mate thanks for your advice, it is actually spot on. At the end of you the day you have to live with someone 24/7 in a relationship so they have to actually like you as you normally are. If a girl doesn't like you then move on and find another who does. I think a lot of energy is wasted in actually trying or forcing a relationship with girls who may not like you. It should be "if you like me great, if not your loss but good luck". It is good advice and worth remembering if a date does not go well. Cheers buddy. On the first and second date I try to be on my best behavior ( no cursing, convos are light and fluffy). By the third date I feel more relaxed and open up a bit more of my personality. Although at this point I start silently freaking out that I'm acting like someone I'm not ( perhaps an overzealous dater). On my third date there was this point where I completely came undone and it was very nice, and she seemed to like it very much! There was no effort involved and things came naturally. I want to remember feelings like that and not the stupid " Oh my god why did she respond like this when I did that!?". It's quite frustrating. I hope everyone had a safe Thanksgiving!!!!
welikeincrowds Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 You know, one thing I wonder is whether these feelings correlate with dates during which one withholds a negative thought, a feeling, or a controversial difference in opinion.
Author murah989 Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 You know, one thing I wonder is whether these feelings correlate with dates during which one withholds a negative thought, a feeling, or a controversial difference in opinion. I would have to agree with you. I consider myself to have a good sense of confidence in myself when I'm around other people. I never think to myself that I'm less than the person i'm dating, and oppositely I'm not full of myself either. I know that what I'm bringing to the table will hopefully compliment that other persons life as well as my own. However, there are times when I get this little nagging voice that makes me feel so low. Like everything I'm saying and doing is turning the person off. I can hide it pretty well, but occasionally when it seeps out my mind explodes! I never say anything offensive...just stupid and not timed well stuff . I'm just giving you my take on what you just said, but I'd love to hear more of an explanation of this from you.
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