Bgirl Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 (edited) I have a quick question, just looking for some guidance regarding a date that a had last night. I will try to make it a short story, basically I met a guy over the summer and he is genuinely a nice guy. He was so into me, called me all the time, texted me and I accepted to go on a first date with him about 3 months ago. The date went well, he basically wanted to please every wish of mine, But I just wasn’t so into him plus I had just broken up with someone so I very politely told him that I wasn’t interested and that was that3 months later, we just recently bumped into each other twice at the train station since we live in the same area. So we started talking and I decided to just talk to him and go with the flow He has been texting me bits here and there and we went out for dinner last night. The date went great, we have good convos etc. BUT here is the deal….. he asked me if I was seeing someone and I said not at the moment so his response was “ I have been seeing people lately and I just went out on a second date with a girl so lets see where that goes" WTF? I didn’t say anything, but later he insisted in seeing me again and sent me a text to let me know that he enjoys my company. Also he flirts a lot with me! Now my question is whether I should decline any further invitations because he is already seeing someone else…I just found that to be so confusing! Edited November 25, 2010 by Bgirl
TaraMaiden Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 Tell him you're looking for exclusivity. If he can't give you that, then you don't see any point in continuing to see him because it's obvious you want different things. He's a bit of a player, but that's not a criticism. That's just where he's at. And you're not..... In a nutshell, you think you now need look no further. He is not of the same opinion.
hopesndreams Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 he asked me if I was seeing someone and I said not at the moment so his response was “ I have been seeing people lately and I just went out on a second date with a girl so lets see where that goes" Next time he texts, text back with "take a hike!", that's what I'd do. But then again, I would have told him that to his face.
reservoirdog1 Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 he asked me if I was seeing someone and I said not at the moment so his response was “ I have been seeing people lately and I just went out on a second date with a girl so lets see where that goes" Next time he texts, text back with "take a hike!", that's what I'd do. But then again, I would have told him that to his face. IMHO, that's unwarranted. First of all, you went out for dinner with him after a chance encounter, which happened after 3 months of not seeing him at all. You call it a "date"; are you sure that's what it was? Or just dinner? Did you BOTH think it was a date? Who invited whom? Who paid? Secondly, you made it very clear three months ago that you weren't interested. Sure, perhaps the fact that you went for dinner together made him think you changed your mind, or perhaps he figured you were cool and he liked talking to you, so why not go for dinner. He's single, you're single. You're both free to date other people. He's also free to flirt with you if he wants. If you're interested in seeing him in a romantic context, you need to make that a bit clearer. If you're only interested in dating him if he's NOT dating other women, you need to make that a bit clearer too. Definitely not enough here to warrant telling him to go piss up a rope. Not yet, anyway.
Author Bgirl Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 Well let me clarify that after we bumped into each other we texted a bit and then he kept inviting out for dinner but I was busy with work so we finally coordinated to go out yesterday. He payed, he insisted, and on his way home he bought me a bag of my fav candies and took me to a pool bar, where he also payed. Even though I wanted to share the cost. I'm the type of person taht even if I am dating someone to get to know them I like exclusivity, Im not at that point in time anymore. I want something more serious. I know we are both single and we can do whatever we want, even if he wants to date someone else, but then his behaviour is contradictive when he flirts with me and asks me out etc. If he likes me then fine lets date get to know each other but just the fact that he mentioned trying something with someone else... I dont know it seems weird. If he wanted to get to know me and was interested , maybe he wouldnt have mentioned that. I dont know.
Hopeful30 Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I think he said that as a little bit of revenge. He wants you to chase after him since you let him go so easily after. Since he keeps inviting you out and calling and texting you, he obviously is investing his time in YOU and not that other chick (that he probably doesn't even care about). Go with the flow and see where things go. I don't see why not.
Recommended Posts