irc333 Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 ....okay, not sure if should JUDGE this person, this incident happened a while ago, but it still made me wonder, you know? lol Anyhow, friend of mine who WAS single (is now recently married) who used to hang with me with other friends at events such as wine tastings/pairings, movie night etc....well, he got married recently and kind of toned it down there.....(speaking of my last thread right) Well, actually he was one of those 1/10th that went "OUT" regardless of marriage.....he doesn't know though. Anyhow, he calls me up and he tells me him, his ex-wife and her friend are joining him to join our friends at a get together about an hour away. His NEW wife works shift work, the night shift....so it's a Sat night, and he calls me to see if I intend on going to the event (we didn't go together in the same car, we went in seperate cars) I guess he wanted to somehow introduce me to his single friends Fortunately he gets along with his ex-wife pretty well....well, they have to , they live within a few miles of each other, and of course share custody of the children. He shows up with his lady friends (notice I mentioned he didn't bring his wife.....because ...well...she's working) And I get to talkign to them....now the town that we come from is a remote town...if you really want to do "Singles" related activities, you have to commute to a larger city about an hour away. I live in a rather fishbowl community where people in their 40's are still hangin' out with their Highschool friends. lol People tend to not venture beyond the borders of the "Fishbowl", some like this are still single, (suprisnigly they don't seek OUT beyond the borders for more human contact) Anyhow, this is their first time hittin' the "Big City" in a while, so they're kind of acting like wall flowers...but I get to talking to them,and we're cutting up and having a good time, joking around. I asked if they're going to mingle around and oneof them said, "Nah, we're not much for making NEW friends" I was thinking, hm, that's strange. I didn't want to talk to them all night, because some of my other friends arrived at the block event, and I excused myself to mingle with others. My friend that showed up was mingling around, too.....short time after....they're gone. And I thought, "Wow, that was quick" When I got home, I got to chatting with him online and asked them where they bolted off too. He said they were bored and wanted to go dancing.....I was like Oh, okay......(and I was wondering why they didn't think to bring me along, or at least ask...) I did ask him this, and he said, "Well.....they didn't want to give you the 'wrong idea'" And I said, "Oh, so they prefer going out dancing with an already married man? Your wife know about this?" And he got defensive and said, "That's not really any of your concern" And I said, "Well....excuse me....sorry man...I just find it funny that you, being not only a married man but a NEWLY wed man....that you would find time to hang out with single women all by yourself, without her around" So, in that case, was he wrong to be hanging out with single women like he did as a married man? I also found it totally backwards that single women would have any interest in hanging with him. (a married man)...very strange friends he has, lol
Stung Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 The whole situation does sound odd, although of course we're seeing it through your lens. My husband does occasionally hang out with women friends, some single, including his (recently divorced) exgf with whom he shares a daughter, but they are usually just catching up over lunch or coffee, or else it's some kind of work- or school-related event. On the rare occasions they're hanging out at an event like a gallery opening or a show, I am usually there too. His relationship with his ex is usually amicable but it's an effort to keep it that way and they are mostly in contact regarding my stepdaughter--definitely aren't going barhopping and clubbing together at night and without me. Yes, that would be weird, and would become a point of contention if it was a regular thing or if it was something he was being secretive about.
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