I was recognized out from my online profile

[daphne]

Something I had read about and was dreading. I figured no one will know it's me unless they already know me. Au contraire. A guy walked past me and backed up and started with a guessing game. There went my cover.

 

Good things: he told me I was the best thing on that website. Apologized for being a flake. Talked my ear off for an hour about how great I am (I mean come on, anyone can say anything in a profile?)

 

Bad things: guy was drunk. Guy assumed a high level of intimacy and interest on both parts (not the case.) Guy told me it was my turn to call him. Guy became obsessive. Guy started to get in my face a little, in an aggressive way. Guy then tried to physically get too close in a romantic way. Very, very odd. Guy wouldn't leave and kept coming back.

 

So my adventures in dating continue. I am convinced that there is a higher incidence level of crazy in online dating. Perhaps I'm best left to harrass, beg and threaten my normal yuppy friends for dates.

Edited November 25, 2010 by daphne

[BobSacamento]

I have dreaded this myself. The only difference is that I recognized the person. Needless to say I played it cool and pretended I didn't recognize them because I assumed they dreaded the same thing and also I wasn't interested.

 

The big thing I dread is that someone from work will recognize me.

[daphne]

The big thing I dread is that someone from work will recognize me.

 

Yeah, I have that dread also.

 

I think women are less prone to approach if they feel shot down than guys. It was flattering at first, but I realized quickly that we were not compatible. There's nothing less attractive than someone who comes on too strong and/or pleading.

[Star Gazer]

I've been recognized by strangers several times - gas station attendants, Nordtrom salesmen, a court clerk, a dude at the airport. I've never recognized them in return. Admittedly, it's kinda freaked me out, because they don't say at first where they know me from. It's like:

 

Them: "I know you from somewhere."

Me: "Hmm. Well, I don't recognize you, but I'm bad with faces." (Not true at all, I just don't want to make them feel bad.)

Them: "You're on XYZ site, aren't you."

Me (deflecting): "Yeah, isn't everyone? ;)"

 

I also saw a guy I work with had "viewed me." A guy from lawschool who's now opposing counsel sent me a joke through the website, mocking the fact that we're both there. Three guys from a charitable organization I'm involved in have viewed and/or winked at me.

 

I figure... heh, my intentions are known. I'm available to date with the possibility of a relationship. Big whop.

[daphne]

lol. I guess you're right. It was more taboo in my generation than it currently is but if someone sees me they're on there too. I think if it had happened as often as it's happened to you I'd freak out a little too though. I'm a fairly private person.

 

I'm thinking about calling it a day with online, but am not sure if I'm giving it a fair shot. I've just met too many guys that are a little off. But then again, if I don't use online, I'm stuck with the 20 year olds again.

 

I just talked myself into staying online for a while longer and see how it goes.

[Tim The Enchanter]

I've not yet been recognised, but I did find someone I knew from uni on a dating site once. I didn't realise who it was until I'd viewed her profile, and I felt quite embarrassed about it. I also inadvertantly went on a date with a friend's ex!

[sagetalk]

I am convinced that there is a higher incidence level of crazy in online dating.

 

You are sadly mistaken.

[irc333]

LOL....yeah some women get wierded out from being recogized in public from a dating site.

 

In MY Case......let's see.....

 

You know how you get those "once a week" YOUR MATCHES in your email newsletter from Match.com or other dating sites?

 

They send you a list of "your matches" once a week....well, I sometimes browse through their profiles and see who is "My match"

 

One day , a friend of mine (in the real world) invites me and a group of her friends out to a movie / restaurant night.

 

Well, she introduces me to her friends, and ONE of them IS one of "My matches" LOL

 

We introduced each other and talked a bit, and I mingled with others and I watched the movie. I did not say anything then though.

 

Well, the friend that invited us OUT to the movies was on Facebook (on my friends list)

 

And I happened to see the woman she introduced me to "MY Match.com match" on her friends list.

 

I messaged her on there saying it was nice to meet her at the get together. She replied as well, and we added each other to our friends lists....we were talking back and forth...and that's when I brought up her Match.com profile.

 

I said, "I didn't want to say anything earlier, but I couldn't help but notice, are you on Match.com?"

 

And she says, "Yeah, but I dropped my subscription already, was too pricey"

 

And I said, "Oh, so are you seeing anyone?"

 

And she gets all pissy with me and says, "My love life is none of your concern!! It's none of our business"

 

I think I didn't reply just yet to that email, but soon after, she deleted me from her friends list.

 

Total flake, no wonder she's single.

 

It's like "Oh my gosh, someone saw me on Match.com! AAAAAAH!"

 

I have heard of others that spotted people they knew through groups of friends, home parties, like BBQ's, get togethers, through friends of friernds that happened to see them at BOTH places...it's becoming QUITE common to see people in BOTH areas nowdays.

 

So I don't know what the panic is all about.

 

 

 

 

 

Something I had read about and was dreading. I figured no one will know it's me unless they already know me. Au contraire. A guy walked past me and backed up and started with a guessing game. There went my cover.

 

Good things: he told me I was the best thing on that website. Apologized for being a flake. Talked my ear off for an hour about how great I am (I mean come on, anyone can say anything in a profile?)

 

Bad things: guy was drunk. Guy assumed a high level of intimacy and interest on both parts (not the case.) Guy told me it was my turn to call him. Guy became obsessive. Guy started to get in my face a little, in an aggressive way. Guy then tried to physically get too close in a romantic way. Very, very odd. Guy wouldn't leave and kept coming back.

 

So my adventures in dating continue. I am convinced that there is a higher incidence level of crazy in online dating. Perhaps I'm best left to harrass, beg and threaten my normal yuppy friends for dates.

[irc333]

Yeah, I had a friend of mine tell me that women are "image conscious"

 

LOL....sounds like you listed almost any possible venue a woman could get hit on/approached/asked out/asked for #/engage in conversation with a man.

 

Why is it women seem to limit their options in such a manner I have no idea.

 

I knew of a woman that would not date someone that went to the same COLLEGE she went to. Apparently it was a smaller college compared to other Universities.....and she didn't like the idea of people "knowing each other" too easily....whatever that means.

 

She was socially inept I guess....that was also a motivator for her to transfer to a bigger college, too.

 

People on campus knew her too well. She was "anti-Cheers-like" environment. She prefered NOT to be known.

 

 

 

Funny, I've seen the SAME face/woman(s).

 

Like I've seen "Susie" on FB, MySpace, Match.com, American Singles, POF, <insert more dating sites she's on for free, but doesn't pay for a subscription)...and other social networking sites.

 

My advice to the single ladies out there....Get over it!! lol

 

It's getting to the point where we've REACHED a finite amount of the SAME SINGLE people in the same geographic area.

 

They dont want anyone hitting on them when they are out running errands, at work, at the gym, etc. A lot of women seem to segregate aspects of their social interactions into separate compartments.

 

^^^^ This

 

Yeah, they won't let a guy hit on them in a grocery line, but it's okay if you do it online where she can run home, locked the door and browse the dating site instead.

 

Why talk to someone? A woman is helpless because there's no "delete" or "block" button at a grocery store line or a coffee shop.

Theres been plenty of women on this forum, that state how they separate their "dating time" from the rest of their life.

 

They dont want anyone hitting on them when they are out running errands, at work, at the gym, etc. A lot of women seem to segregate aspects of their social interactions into separate compartments.

 

There is also the embarrassment factor. A lot of women feel mortified, almost naked when someone spots them in public from the site, they feel as if they have no barriers, and are unable to ease into the water, compared to jumping right in.

 

I've seen 1 woman in public from the dating site, I have no idea if she recognized me, I just walked right past like nothing happened.

Edited November 25, 2010 by irc333

[irc333]

Yeah, there is this female friend that brought a NEW female friend, apparently they work together, but are also good friends outside of work.

 

Funny how I have never seen her before.

 

SHE claims she ONLY goes out to events like this IF she has someone with her....otherwise she'd stay at home ALL Sat night if no one would go with her.

 

No joke. lol

 

People can be a mess, man...a 38 year old woman has to have her hand held. lol

 

 

Because they need to physiologically, and physically ready themselves, by putting their mind into the "approach me" state.

 

I think it stems from insecurity issues.

 

My hair isnt done, I have a ball cap on, I dont have my wing man with me, dont approach me.

 

When she's "out on the town" after readying herself in the mirror, and putting on her "game face" facade, now shes ready to be approached.

 

Its easier for a woman to analyze you from afar, than face to face. They like sitting back picking you apart, judging you, instead of letting you talk to her and show who you really are, instead of the image she thinks in her mind.

[daphne]

You are sadly mistaken.

 

Leave me with my illusions. It makes me happier to think that.

[daphne]

I've not yet been recognised, but I did find someone I knew from uni on a dating site once. I didn't realise who it was until I'd viewed her profile, and I felt quite embarrassed about it. I also inadvertantly went on a date with a friend's ex!

 

Ert oh...

 

(characters)

[daphne]

And I said, "Oh, so are you seeing anyone?"

 

And she gets all pissy with me and says, "My love life is none of your concern!! It's none of our business"

 

I think I didn't reply just yet to that email, but soon after, she deleted me from her friends list.

 

If that's the full story then she seems a bit prickly. Even if I don't like someone's line of questioning (maybe it's invasive or what not), unless it's rude there's no reason to be a jerk.

[daphne]

They dont want anyone hitting on them when they are out running errands, at work, at the gym, etc. A lot of women seem to segregate aspects of their social interactions into separate compartments.

 

There is also the embarrassment factor. A lot of women feel mortified, almost naked when someone spots them in public from the site, they feel as if they have no barriers, and are unable to ease into the water, compared to jumping right in.

 

I've seen 1 woman in public from the dating site, I have no idea if she recognized me, I just walked right past like nothing happened.

 

I'm ok if someone wants to hit on me randomly. As long as they know that if I'm not interested and being evasive to let it go. I did get a little embarrassed though. I would have prefered if he had, like IRC, kept it private til a later time.

[irc333]

If that's the full story then she seems a bit prickly. Even if I don't like someone's line of questioning (maybe it's invasive or what not), unless it's rude there's no reason to be a jerk.

 

Well, I think it was being polite to make sure she was unattached before I would ask her out....it's a way of transitioning to that point.

 

But, she never gave me a chance to ask her out, so she chose to be rude.

 

LOL

 

A lot of women are image conscious or something about this....some women it doesn't bother (which are the keepers, lol)

[daphne]

Well, I think it was being polite to make sure she was unattached before I would ask her out....it's a way of transitioning to that point.

 

But, she never gave me a chance to ask her out, so she chose to be rude.

 

LOL

 

A lot of women are image conscious or something about this....some women it doesn't bother (which are the keepers, lol)

 

My guess is that she was young and hasn't learned humility yet. Young women recognize early on that when they're too nice, they get treated poorly by guys. That they get treated much better when they act like "the prize." They don't realize that that doesn't include being a complete diva douchebag unless the guy merits it.

 

I would say it's girls like that that keep me in business.

[GuySimple]

Funny, I met someone on line, organized a coffee date to meet in person a few days in the future. About 2 hours after making the date online I ran into her in a store. I debated saying anything to her but thought she might think it was rude if she noticed me.

 

Even funnier, I got outed on here by my exwife. That made for some interesting LS posts. I wonder sometimes if she comes back on here just to see if I'm here, which is why I'm not much.

 

Just in case....love you dear XOX. Hope your enjoying the house, car, investments, oh and the table saw. Thank you for leaving me my testicles.

[irc333]

Actually she was my age. lol

 

My guess is that she was young and hasn't learned humility yet. Young women recognize early on that when they're too nice, they get treated poorly by guys. That they get treated much better when they act like "the prize." They don't realize that that doesn't include being a complete diva douchebag unless the guy merits it.

 

I would say it's girls like that that keep me in business.

[daphne]

Funny, I met someone on line, organized a coffee date to meet in person a few days in the future. About 2 hours after making the date online I ran into her in a store. I debated saying anything to her but thought she might think it was rude if she noticed me.

 

Even funnier, I got outed on here by my exwife. That made for some interesting LS posts. I wonder sometimes if she comes back on here just to see if I'm here, which is why I'm not much.

 

Just in case....love you dear XOX. Hope your enjoying the house, car, investments, oh and the table saw. Thank you for leaving me my testicles.

 

I'm not laughing at your misfortune, but your ability to make light of what was probably a rough situation. I do not understand why women feel the need to take a guy for everything he's got when you split. Unless you shacked up with a young porn star or something. Then everything is fair game.

 

How in the world did she recognize it was you on here? That spooks me more than being seen out. I have written some very private things on here.

[daphne]

Actually she was my age. lol

 

Well, if you're in your 20's then I think it's the norm. If you're older than that, then she's got a lot of growing up to do...

[GuySimple]

I'm not laughing at your misfortune, but your ability to make light of what was probably a rough situation. I do not understand why women feel the need to take a guy for everything he's got when you split. Unless you shacked up with a young porn star or something. Then everything is fair game.

 

How in the world did she recognize it was you on here? That spooks me more than being seen out. I have written some very private things on here.

 

She's actually a good person and we have a great "business" relationship now. I chalk it up to the emotions at the time.

 

It is because of that, that I don't tell people about me being on this site. You're right there are some personal thoughts on here that I wouldn't want anyone who knew me to read. I don't expect they would understand the context in which they were written, nor do I want them to know these things.

 

What bothers me about online dating are ex-dates or relationships that have free access to you profile and can see when you are online. It lends itself too much to stalking. I was on a date the other night and the woman was telling me that two times an ex had made dummy profiles, arranged a date and stood her up just to punish her in some freaky way.

[daphne]

She's actually a good person and we have a great "business" relationship now. I chalk it up to the emotions at the time.

 

It is because of that, that I don't tell people about me being on this site. You're right there are some personal thoughts on here that I wouldn't want anyone who knew me to read. I don't expect they would understand the context in which they were written, nor do I want them to know these things.

 

What bothers me about online dating are ex-dates or relationships that have free access to you profile and can see when you are online. It lends itself too much to stalking. I was on a date the other night and the woman was telling me that two times an ex had made dummy profiles, arranged a date and stood her up just to punish her in some freaky way.

 

Well if she were truly a good person, she'd probably give you some of your stuff back... I don't believe in the adage "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine."

 

And yes, context is particularly something you don't want to share. I hear you.

 

The woman's ex has some issues. I wonder if the last guy I was interested in would do that kind of thing. It wouldn't matter, however, since I don't really care until I meet someone and get to know them. No investment before you meet. You have no idea if the person is even who they posted on the profile.

 

How did she know they were dummy profiles? I have a sketchy one right now.

[D-Lish]

That's funny!

 

It's happened to me a few times. I remember a dude walked past me at an outdoor patio and started calling out "hey, plenty of fish"...over and over in his drunken stupor. I've also recognized guys as well. It's a small world!

[Seamless74]

Yeah ive seen alot of people offline that i recognize from their profile online.. Youd think it would be kind of like an in or something you know some common ground and also youd know that they were single.. But overall mentioning it seems to betray some kind of code and oftentimes would just come off as creepy..

[daphne]

I remember a dude walked past me at an outdoor patio and started calling out "hey, plenty of fish"...over and over in his drunken stupor.

 

A wonder that you didn't snap that one up.