Just broke up

[aroll32]

So me and my girlfriend of 5 months decided to break it off for good this time (we had two speed bumps before this). Now, this was my first relationship, first girl I actually fell in love with. It's too bad it had to happen at a crappy time.

 

LS always has had the best relationship advice, so I ask you all for help one more time.

 

Since this was my first time caring about a girl, I was able to learn what a relationship SHOULD be like and what I can do to make it work. It's definitely not what I had in mind. That's my major accomplishment of this break up. Now onto the rougher patch.

 

This girl and I had a pretty great relationship, it was just a little too much for her at a horrible time. Sometimes it was weird and shaky, but overall, I had a great time with this girl and don't regret anything.

 

We had a few reasons to break it off:

1. She couldn't even handle school, much less her twin sister/roomate, work, and myself. (oh, we're both in college).

2. Our relationship was in an unhealthy cycle, we tried a couple things to fix it, but none of them worked. Obviously breaking up was our best option.

3. We both want our single life back, not meaning we don't love each other, but meaning we lost touch with a lot of friends. I talked to about 5 of her friends last night about it, and every one of them said they haven't talked to her in about 5 months. I felt like such an a-hole. I know it's not my fault, but I don't want her friends to think that she doesn't care about them. I told them all to call her, she needs to hang out with them.

 

Sorry, kind of lost track. So I think that this is for the best. I told her that I see this as just the beginning of our relationship. I don't know if we will feel the same after this time apart, but if we do, there's nothing wrong with trying it out again. And if we don't, I will be there for her as a friend, because she is my best friend, and I'm not losing her over some mess that we brought upon ourselves.

 

Now, the one issue that keeps coming up with other people. Hooking up with other people during the breakup. We didn't even talk about it, because neither of us were even thinking about that. A lot of people say, "OH dude, she's prob banging some other dude RIGHT NOW!!!" That's an esteem booster.

 

I think that neither of us are going to hook up with anyone else for quite some time. I've gone months without hooking up before, and the reason I've done it is so I can find someone like her and keep her. Anyways, what do you all think? Thanks in advance!

[kdark]

So are you two broken up for good, or is this just a break? Do you two intend to get back together?

 

And what is this unhealthy cycle you speak of?

 

To me, it seems like you two just don't have enough time to devote to each other as you both would like to. If something is important enough to you, you will make the time for it. Neither of you seem to want to do that. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. You two might just not be right for each other.

[aroll32]

Honestly, I'm not sure. I'm saying it's for good, because I want to separate all the emotional baggage that turned our relationship into a mess. Granted, I know that my feelings will most likely not change, but I do want to try to move on before I consider dating her or someone else again.

 

The cycle isn't anything too crazy. We just weren't getting anywhere in our relationship. Every 3 weeks-a month we would end up having the same problems that led to us fighting, not getting anywhere, weird feelings and in this case, breaking up.

 

Actually, the problem was we spent TOO MUCH time together. We spent every moment together for the first 3 months we were dating. It didn't change that much either, we still devoted all of our free time to each other. And we both definitely wanted to be with each other. This relationship just wasn't working. Some of them don't, so I'm trying not to get too upset about it. Although it is hard losing someone you love