LuckyClover Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I continue to think this is going to get easier in time. But everytime my xw comes to get the kids, it's just a constant reminder that i've been replaced and my kids are headed out to have fun with their family without me... their dad. This sucks.... honestly I hate life, I put on a face hoping if I fake it, ill make it.. Life's not fair and can't wait to just move on... I'm not saying I'd do anything to hurt myself, but God I wish things would either get better or over. I know so sad, shut up, suck it up, and stop feeling sorry for myself. I can't control it, work on bettering me, etc... etc.. etc... But it hurts and I don't know what else to do except take deep breaths and make believe this is what I want. F' me.
murphomatic Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I continue to think this is going to get easier in time. But everytime my xw comes to get the kids, it's just a constant reminder that i've been replaced and my kids are headed out to have fun with their family without me... their dad. This sucks.... honestly I hate life, I put on a face hoping if I fake it, ill make it.. Life's not fair and can't wait to just move on... I'm not saying I'd do anything to hurt myself, but God I wish things would either get better or over. I know so sad, shut up, suck it up, and stop feeling sorry for myself. I can't control it, work on bettering me, etc... etc.. etc... But it hurts and I don't know what else to do except take deep breaths and make believe this is what I want. F' me. Sorry you're feeling down man.. I'm in the doldrums myself ... but hey - chin up, buddy - here's the thing ... you're correct, life is NOT fair .. but you're wrong about one thing ... you CAN control it. Life may not be fair, but it is also what you make of it. If you look and see sadness and desolation - then that is what it will be. If you look and see opportunity and potential - that is what you'll find. ...it's all that new-age crap, power of positive thinking, blah, blah, blah. It's all so cliche - I know .. believe me. But hey - who cares how cliche it is if it works?! And it really, really does! You just have to have the mental fortitude to see through the layers of crap to the good stuff that lies beneath. If you've got some free time - go hunt down a specific book. It's a good story and a quick read (and if you like airplanes, or are a pilot - you'll enjoy it all that much more). The book is titled "Illusions" and is written by Richard Bach. It's a great story and may lend you some perspective. Perspective...use it or lose it! Keep checking in here - this forum is full of great people with tons of support.
ShatteredReality Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 You need to find a way to take care of yourself. A friend of mine went through a terrible divorce about 3yrs ago and for the first year was horribly depressed...watched her Ex start dating and did the battle over who gets the kids when...about a year after she started taking a kinda dance class thing, she started having time for herself and with her friends...at first it was to distract herself, but then it was because she was enjoying it. Now, though she still hates when the kids spend time with him (as is the nature of the ex), she knows she does the best she can when she is with them. She also knows they appreciate that she's happier now. it takes time and hard work. I'd tell you to take up cake decorating or dancing, but you're a guy - so....maybe take a mechanics course?? LOL...I don't know - whatever you're interested in, go for it. Start swimming, start working out...get the endorphins going. Life sucks - it's not fair - and we all have plenty to be depressed about...but we keep on living it, so might as well TRY to enjoy it. And yes...take deep breaths and suck it up! (kidding - totally a joke - I just realized how peppy my little speech is here and you're probably rolling your eyes saying - this isn't what I was reaching out for!) Unfortunately - no one can make it better for you...and you're right, ultimately, over time it will get better. It'll always hurt, but that hurt will change and morph into something more tolerable in time. Sorry - I suck at advice, hopefully something made sense though.
murphomatic Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 Oh and hey - it DOES get better. Unfortunately, time moves at a steady rate with a stead-fast rule: That rate is fast when you want it slow, and slow when you want it fast....but ultimately ALWAYS forward. Hang in there -
lee123 Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 Hey I know you'll feel like it will never get better, but it will . I'v never being married, but i know what if feels like to lose someone. Remember you may of lost the battle, but you will win the war all in good time, Good luck
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