Andymack Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I have been split up with my ex for about 4 months now and she still has loads of my stuff at her place. I have texted her about once a week to try and get her to sort it out and she says that she will but never does. She always says she's busy and she never been the most organised of people but she has arranged to meet a couple of times and then canceled with pretty flimsy excuses. She has started a new college course and works as well but it would take half hour max to do this so i was just wondering whether she is doing it on purpose to stop me moving on?
coltsfan1 Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 my ex did this as well, its an excuse to either 1. talk to you or 2. string you along. Just forget about it (long as it can be replaced). don't txt or call about it anymore then she how she reacts. it will be a good indication of how she truly feels!!
Author Andymack Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 I would do but its LOADS of stuff. I was basically living there and there's pretty much my entire dvd collection plus loads of other things like expensive clothes and stuff like that. I've been trying to go round when she's out and just her sister's in to go and get it and see how she reacts as like you said, i need to keep in touch with her. Therefore I can't go nc properly and she can't miss me if she knows that I'm always gonna call to get it. I was just wondering why she hasn't done it yet if she wanted me completely out of her life
mmiller5373 Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 Sounds like a selfishness thing to me. She probably doesn't want to deal with it. So, yeah, in a way it sounds like she is preventing you from moving on. She wants to do what she wants to do right now. She wants to live her life without letting go. That's fear. Somewhere in the back of her mind she probably thinks it could work out one day. Some people just can't end things. Is the stuff at her house of real importance to you? If you've been doing alright without it for 4 months now I think you're probably just creating an excuse to meet up with her.
Author Andymack Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 Certain stuff is like presents from people. Other stuff I don't care so much about. For a while it was an excuse to contact but now I know that that won't work so just want to get it to let her know that I've got it. After that there's no reason to call her any more and want to show her that I'm trying to move on with my life. So i guess it's more about what it represents than the actual stuff itself which is why I'm gonna try and get when she's not there.
mmiller5373 Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 You're best bet may be to try and go by her house when you think she's not there. Or try and get in touch with the sister. Honestly, you need to get your stuff and then leave it be. Go NC and let her be the one initiating contact. My ex and I had three major breakups. I remember the second time I told her I wanted my stuff back. I had been begging her to meet up with me, but she wouldn't. So I figured asking her for my stuff back would be the best bet to meet up with her. She told me to come by her house. When I got there, I was greeted by her mother, whom had all of my stuff in a box. She handed it to me, hugged me, and told me good luck. It was an awkward moment and when I finally looked in the box I realized I didn't even care about the stuff inside of it. It was just an excuse for me to see her and I didn't even get to see her.
Author Andymack Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 There was a bit of that to begin with but I know that it probably won't work, even tho when i gave her her stuff back we got on better than we had in ages and thought i was in with a chance (that was ages ago tho) I tried ringing her to ask her out for a date but she didn't take my call and when i texted "can i call you tomorrow" she made some bs excuse on the day why she couldn't. I said i could come round when she wasn't there if it was easier for her and she said it wasn't a problem and she would drop everything off in the next couple of days. That was nearly 3 weeks ago.
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