windows Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I'm an 18 year old guy so I know I'm young so I want to learn what your philosophies on love are. I've only known unrequited love and infatuation in my life so far. A short while ago I asked a girl out and she told me, "You're a great guy but, you're... umm... not my type, or something..." Now that I think about it, we are incompatible and the best thing to happen was for her to reject me. Is it just luck to find someone who has mutual attraction to you? Is there a trick to develop mutual attraction to someone? I see horrible Q&A forums like Yahoo! Answers and it's swarmed by teenagers asking "This person does this and this... does he/she like me?" but I want to ask deeper than that. To those with experience, what was the catalyst for those long-term relationships?
welikeincrowds Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Philosophies of love? Well Plato has a ****ing great one. People misunderstand "Platonic love"; they take it to mean "intimacy without sex," which is what the term has come to mean, but that's not what he meant by it all. In fact, for Plato, sex is an act that would be conducive to love, since for him, souls inhabit bodies, and so a connecting of bodies is a good method to encourage the connection of souls. Plato describes this love to be when your soul can see the soul of your lover, and so is reminded of the beauty it knew while it was still in heaven. The way he unfolds it... it's just one of the most beautiful ideas ever given to the world. But I guess that's not what you're asking, is it? You want to know if you'll find love. Yes. If you look for it, you will find it. There are no tricks -- although there are little techniques or shortcuts that can minimize trouble, as in anything one sets out to do (but you'll pick those up as you go). Just keep lurking these boards and you'll see how different people interface with the ~wonderful world of dating~. And just keep putting yourself in unfamiliar situations and you will turn out just fine.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I've only known unrequited love and infatuation in my life so far. A short while ago I asked a girl out and she told me, "You're a great guy but, you're... umm... not my type, or something..." Here's a tip: get used to rejection like that. Is it just luck to find someone who has mutual attraction to you? Yes and no. There is definitely a random element to finding love, but you can increase the odds in your favour by being in the right place, at the right time. At your age that means going out with your friends to clubs, bars, parties, plus getting involved in as many sports, clubs and activities as you can manage. The wider your social circle and the most socially active you are, the better your chances of finding someone you click with.
Andy_K Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 There are a couple of important things I would mention: 1) Deserve what you want Improving yourself as a person will have a massive impact on your dating & relationship success. You can always develop your compassion, confidence, sense of humour, good temper, physique, and any number of other characteristics. You won't get what you don't deserve. You can be yourself, but always be looking to improve that self. 2) Take responsibility for any bad luck which comes your way If you get cheated on, it means you need to become a better judge of character, or attract a different type of woman. If you're not getting any dates, it means you need to put yourself out there more. If you're constantly in arguments, look at what you're doing to cause them. Just because something isn't your fault, doesn't mean it's not your responsibility - this is your life, and there's nobody else to blame. Even if there was, blame changes nothing.
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