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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind


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Posted

Sorry for the vague title but it kinda sums up what I really hope for and seemed as good as any.

 

I've posted here before, same topic, years ago, still here still same topic.

 

I just can't live this way anymore. Apart from bottle it up and have an occasional vent online (anon of course) I've never actually taken any positive action about this, but I really feel like I need to now or it will either kill me or ruin the rest of my life, it's not going to go away on it's own.

 

I have loved the same man for 13 years, love, obsess, adore all that sort of gagmaking stuff. Which would be fine if it wasn't for the fact we broke up 8 years ago.

 

I have never ever gotten over him in the slightest. It's not something that wanes and brought back by a song or mention of him. I love him and it's never gone away. I've learnt to live with it, it's like an amputated limb that aches but I've grown to cope with. I married to forget him, I had a child to forget him, I had another child to forget him...I'm a good wife, an excellent mother, I have everything I ever wanted apart from him.

 

Of course in retrospect as much as I could never wish my children away I should never have married or had them, at least then I wouldn't be involving them in this, But I was young and thought the love of them and time would heal old wounds.

 

So instead of love them and love him and most of the time do ok, I think of him daily but I could cope with it ( mainly because I moved 3000kms away from him to try and cut all ties)

 

I saw him the other week, and it's horrific. I have trouble sleeping, eating, concentrating. Nothing that gives me joy matters any more. I am over this, I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life, I don't want to be 70 and looking back on a full beautiful life and only seeing his absence.

 

I'm not depressed as such but should I see a GP? A counseller?

Posted
Sorry for the vague title but it kinda sums up what I really hope for and seemed as good as any.

 

I've posted here before, same topic, years ago, still here still same topic.

 

I just can't live this way anymore. Apart from bottle it up and have an occasional vent online (anon of course) I've never actually taken any positive action about this, but I really feel like I need to now or it will either kill me or ruin the rest of my life, it's not going to go away on it's own.

 

I have loved the same man for 13 years, love, obsess, adore all that sort of gagmaking stuff. Which would be fine if it wasn't for the fact we broke up 8 years ago.

 

I have never ever gotten over him in the slightest. It's not something that wanes and brought back by a song or mention of him. I love him and it's never gone away. I've learnt to live with it, it's like an amputated limb that aches but I've grown to cope with. I married to forget him, I had a child to forget him, I had another child to forget him...I'm a good wife, an excellent mother, I have everything I ever wanted apart from him.

 

Of course in retrospect as much as I could never wish my children away I should never have married or had them, at least then I wouldn't be involving them in this, But I was young and thought the love of them and time would heal old wounds.

 

So instead of love them and love him and most of the time do ok, I think of him daily but I could cope with it ( mainly because I moved 3000kms away from him to try and cut all ties)

 

I saw him the other week, and it's horrific. I have trouble sleeping, eating, concentrating. Nothing that gives me joy matters any more. I am over this, I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life, I don't want to be 70 and looking back on a full beautiful life and only seeing his absence.

 

I'm not depressed as such but should I see a GP? A counseller?

Omg! I Loved that movie. I feel your pain Ive been going through something like this for 8+ years. And now I see a therapist!! So I can learn to get past this pain and heart ache. Have you ever thought of seeing a therapist really? Call today, look into it. It may be just what you need. Good luck..We can do this..
Posted

Do whatever it takes to make yourself feel the best :)

 

It's a positive statement that you are thinking of seeking counseller..

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