Ilovehim Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I am growing apart from one of my best friends. I feel so guilty because she isn't a bad friend but for some reason I have been feeling like this for so long with her. I can't really pin-point when this happened. Talking to her ruins my mood, it's like she gets under my skin and she doesn't have to do much really. I do care for her but being around her just annoys me and after every talk, all I can think about is how I want to be distant from her. Then I feel so guilty, but I can't help it. Sometimes she says things that really get to me, like she'll make me see the negative side of things which in some cases could be true in some not. Like (silly example) say for instance if I were to fall in front of people, instead of trying to pick you up, she'll say things like "Omg! That is so embarrasing. Your night is ruined. I'm so glad that wasn't me." Behh..in some cases her negativity is correct but I still can't stand it. I want her in my life, but distant. I could be very wrong but I feel what I feel and I can't help it if I feel that she brings me down. I brought this up to her and she thought I was crazy that she NEVER EVER tries to do that and Im one of the most important people to her. I still want my distant because she makes me unhappy and is unreliable. What do I do? And am I being a complete b****?
tlind Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 No, you are not being a b***h. The bottom line is you have to do what is best for YOU. If you feel like she's bringing you down, then she is. She may not be doing anything wrong or bad, but if you want to feel more positive and she makes you feel negative, there is absolutely nothing wrong with distancing yourself from her. You already expressed your concerns to your friend and she thought you were crazy. You're not. No one can tell you how or what to feel, your feelings are yours and yours alone... trust them... believe in them.
whichwayisup Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Just do it. Make yourself abit more unavailable to her. The friendship doesn't have end badly, it can just happen naturally so she isn't in your daily life. All i know is, as I get older I want people in my life who make me laugh, make me feel good, love and support me during difficult times, not friends who make me feel bad, make me feel insecure or doubt myself. That is toxic and unhealthy. She doesn't think what she's done is wrong (she does know, deep down, but doesn't care because seeing you be embarressed, gives her an ego boost, makes her feel good, feel like she's better than you), so next time she asks waht is wrong, be honest and tell her how you feel when she says the stuff she does.
shayan Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 in relationships it always best to follow your intuition. If your higher self is telling you it dislikes her and needs space, do it.
Maya25 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Maybe your friend is an energet vampire and her presence drains you out of lively energy. You are not a B***** at all! You have just grown apart and its not because you have been friends for past 3 years that you will need to go on another 10. Sometime its better to let go, than to let her sink you
Idalis Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 All i know is, as I get older I want people in my life who make me laugh, make me feel good, love and support me during difficult times, not friends who make me feel bad, make me feel insecure or doubt myself. That is toxic and unhealthy. I completely agree with this!!! About six months ago I cut a friend out of my life. We'd been friends since we were 10!! And I'm so sad to say that I don't even miss her. She sounds a lot like your friend. I tried distancing myself but even the once every two months that I saw her was too much. She literally drained me of positive energy. So I cut my losses and cut her off, I explained to her why and she denied it. I gave it once last chance and we met for dinner. Needless to say she couldn't help herself. She made several negative comments and I asked for the check and left, never looked back. She tried contacting me for a while but last month it stopped. I just hope she learned from our friendship and will not make anyone else feel the way she made me feel. You should talk to your friend and at the next sign of trouble just let the friendship go. Sometimes its for the best, unfortunately.
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