irc333 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I've seen some women, (mostly women, don't know about men) who have this ZERO Tolerance for lying. Wether it be the person lied about needing money for food, when he really spent it on drugs/booze. VS....lying about something inane, like an opinion on someone's creativity, wardrobe,etc It seems either way, it seems one it throwing the baby out with the bathwater when seeking a mate. Funny, I know people who are currently married that lie to each other occasionally, even in marriage. (white lies from time to time) But why the 0 TOlerance? Most EVERYONE lies eventually.
Crazy Magnet Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 "No honey your butt looks great in those jeans." <---Ungood. I don't want that guy! Honestly, I rather have a guy who will tell me, "Dude, those are bad for your butt, try these instead, they look better." We all need someone in our lives who can be brutally honest with us and keep us from leaving the house dressed like an idiot, whom we can trust to be completely vulnerable to us and to whom we can be vulnerable in return. If I can't get that in my mate, than what's the point of having him?
Titania22 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 ZERO Tolerance for lying I used to be like this myself, until one day I accepted guys (people) lie, stop expecting something different. Now (meaning the last couple of weeks) I am trying lying from the other side. I am not sure how I feel about it, and what is going to befall me for doing it. But I want to understand it from the other side. So far it's far harder then the open honesty I have always lived by. But it's kind of exciting too ("will I get caught out and how long will it take?"). Of course ultimately I would like to understand the appeal. Also I want to understand myself better from the perspective that I have been known to say "I value truth" and "I value illusion", which seems completely contradictory, and I wonder what I value more. I can come up with tons of examples of where I don't mind being lied to and tons where I do, and the decision to mind seems completely arbitrary. Maybe the ultimate decider about whether a lie is ok or not, is the intent behind the person lying.
OldSkool Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Maybe the ultimate decider about whether a lie is ok or not, is the intent behind the person lying. In my opinion, there are two types of lies. 1. Lies of diplomacy (I call these truncated truths, because the truth can generally be slipped right behind the lie). 2. Lies for personal gain. Example #1 Do I look fat in these jeans? No, honey you look great (to me, because I love you, but in fact you have been picking up a bit of weight lately) #2 is pretty self explanatory. I have zero tolerance for dishonesty, which is a behavioral pattern. Peace
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