rebeccajones Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 He agreed we would hang out again and we had a few good days together this past weekend. I have not heard from him these last couple of days and I'm feeling weird and unsure about it all. Part of me believes it will all be ok, part of me is desperate, part of me is good. I am a girl and I hate to be the aggressor calling or asking him out. He used to do all that and he is not now. Do I just wait it out?
IfiKnewThen Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 wait it out AND whatever you do dont repeat history. if there was something bugging him about you, dont go back to that behavior. also, try to find out if there is a female involved. dont accuse him but ask him outright. but dont go acting all jealous. just say he seems on and off and you want to know if theres a reason. dont cry and beg ever again. discuss things calmly with with a time limit at an agreed time and then get back to fun. go slow. write things down so you can get to the point and stay on point. men are so darn linear. dont go all sexual at this time. get him engaged in YOU. the person you are and can be. try ( i know this is hard ) to be fun and up beat when youre together. dont call him. let him pursue you. and let him know you'd appreciate more consistancy. going for days without calling and talking after being together is odd? when a guy cares a lot...he cares about your welfare too. i know he broke up with you so you cant ram these things down his throat. youre trying to win him back. but issues do have to be worked on to make it possible and successful
Author rebeccajones Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 Yea I've been reading things can't go back to as they were exactly before. I just feel crappy and I want to feel better. Maybe he does not care at all ugh. Maybe he got hurt, I cut him out of my life for the last few months. We are good when we are together, we have a good time. In my opinion. I love him, but maybe he wants to move on and felt sorry for me. **** I have a tendency to want my ex back, but usually they really screw me over worse and are not interested at all. I thought we actually had a chance and that he might really want to also. At this point I do not know. Mainly I want to feel better! :|
Author rebeccajones Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 I'm just kind of pissed I threw my heart out there. Now I feel like I should forget about him. Maybe it was too much for him. I just thought we could work it out. I'm pissed and feel crappy!
hART Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I held on for dear life to my ex of ten years and it didn't work out. I begged him to stay after cheating on me and he ended up leaving me for her. I was happy when we finally both moved on. Yeah, I do the same thing, but if someone wants to go, it is best to just let them.
Author rebeccajones Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 YEA I guess so I need to move on myself I was pretty happy and I know I can be, I just thought our love was good and our relationship was pretty good too. I was focusing too much on marriage and there were other things I didn't like either, but we did love each other. I'm just letting it all out here feels a little better!!! AHHH!!!!
hART Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 It does feel good to get it all out. Having a good relationship is positive and will pass on to other relationships. You'll find someone good to marry, there is no need to rush it.
IfiKnewThen Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 you cant force a man to marry you and nag him about it. i pressured my guy to move constantly..we were long distance. i really hate myself for what i did to us. i pray God has mercy on me for how i treated him. i wish he were still my real friend even. i am so sad. i know i was giving...i am better at giving it (for real) then how i manage things myself. sorry for going on here...anyway back to you. if and when you see him again. yell him you see things differently and dont want to rush things like marriage. but you want to rekindle the connection and all the goodness you had in your relationship and work from there. give him kudos for all the good he does and shows you and ..when he is not making you happy..let him know you see good in and that disappointments dont = high maintenance. you have it in prespective and you just want him to be fair. also, it sounds like hes really hurt and doesnt trust you since you broke it off or stayed away from him for so long. even guys can feel confused and like yo yo's. not saying you did this. wait till he calls you first...then get together in person...have fun and have a little talk but dont overwhelm him all at once. if you feel hes really worth it..try again. but go on living in the meantime. its so sad to realize what we want after the fact and try to regain it again and they are not real receptive to you. get him to open up let him do the talking. thats all i have here
IfiKnewThen Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 i know i was giving...i am better at giving it (for real) then how i manage things myself. yikes typo. i meant to say..... i know i was giving YOU advise and i digressed and started talking about myself. sorry about that. and i also meant to say that i am better at giving advise than how i managed my own situation with my ex, before he finally broke it off.
IfiKnewThen Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 good lord there are so many typo mistakes in my reply post up there. LOL i seriously need some sleep. and i need my ex back so i can think straight again
Author rebeccajones Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 Thank you much for your advice. I tried letting him know some of things you mentioned. My stomach is in knots and I'm thinking that this relationship or getting back will fail. I just feel insecure and im thinking it's a sign of doom similar to past experiences. I'm glad to have some time off work! If it's not doomed I'll be shocked. I gave him too much power he doesn't really deserve and like anyone w/o the same feelings will do, he will move on.
Author rebeccajones Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 I do want to rekindle and I do think he may not trust me. It's difficult wanting and waiting for things to be how they once were. Like you said I have to go on with my life, and it is so difficult for me to focus and concentrate. I do have alot to look forward to on one hand and on the other I feel like my life is a mess!! On top of it all I don't have him. He really may not be worth all of this, who really is? I love him dearly and I'll see if in time he will open up a little and see if we can rekindle the relationship.
Author rebeccajones Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 (edited) One minute I think he does love me and the next I feel he wants to move on. Then I think maybe he feels he is not good enough for me or he wants to be single. Edited November 25, 2010 by rebeccajones
lee123 Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 I'm sorta in the same boat. My ex, left me. Wanted me back, so we got back together but i also was feeling really insecure, felt like she was just using me as a back up, so i decided to end it(which for me was a difficult choice). I'm heart broken, hurt. That will hopefully pass in time, i couldn't live life feeling like that everyday. It would of drove her away eventually anyway :/ Ethier way you'll get hurt, but you have to do whats best for you. Maybe thats to move on
Author rebeccajones Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 I'm gonna keep moving on. I still want a chance, but need to move on. If that makes sense! Ugh. I'm sure I'll be venting here for a while!! Maybe you weren't ready to get back? Maybe she hurt you so much. But when are we ready anyway. UGH. Hope you feel better soon.
Author rebeccajones Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 F IT maybe I'm not that into him!! I'm over it!! On to the next! I still have it goin on!!! F IT! MAtch.com here I come!
Author rebeccajones Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 I need it! My mind says f it. At times I feel a whole in my heart, the emptiness. But I'm going to get better!
lee123 Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 Good until you find someone that you deserve. Be with your family and friends, find a new hobby to take your mind off it. someone will come along when you least expect it Good luck
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