Fieldsofgold Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I didn't know what forum to post this in, but I wanted to share a laugh with my friends Young @ Heart by Pam Young As Thanksgiving dances closer, I thought you'd like to read about my first Thanksgiving dinner as a young wife and mother. Just for fun, I made this true story into a poem. Turkey Stuffing Pamela Young copyright 2004 My mom always fixed the Thanksgiving feast The meal? A traditional winner I know she rose before the sun was up 'cause she told us that all through dinner As a young mother I decided one year That I should take over the job Mom was very impressed that I Would volunteer to host the mob For our family had grown to sixteen With cousins and uncles and aunts The meal involved some traditions A recipe that came in the pants Of an ancestor who crossed over On the Mayflower moons before The Young family Sausage Stuffing With ingredients more than four The sausage must come from a pig that'd eaten Only the best of slop The place to get that fabulous meat Was at Gristle's Butcher shop The crumbs I must use in the stuffing? Made from Young Family Sour Dough Bread Mom gave me starter as a wedding gift By my first anniversary of course it was dead It was Thanksgiving morning when I finally looked At her plasticized recipe card With its seventeen special ingredients I winced at the inclusion of lard I had none of the stuff to put into The 25 pound bird in my face Gristle's was closed for the holiday No bread crumbs, no fresh cloves, no mace I'd looked in the red-checkered cookbook For directions to roast the fowl He needed to get in the oven soon I wasn't about to throw in the towel The clock was ticking To stuff was my goal So I shoved a Cornish game hen In the turkey's hole As my secret roasted I turned my table Into a veritable treasure trove I couldn't wait for Mom to see I'd managed to cook two birds with one stove At the table that memorable evening My husband proceeded to try To remove the little bird from the big one And I really can't tell you why But the infant refused to budge from there All eyes were narrowed on me I gave my husband some scissors He performed an episiotomy Like a National Geographic special That little bird was born A Thanksgiving to remember The next year I chose to bring corn Have a Happy Thanksgiving! Love, Pam
quankanne Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 HAAAAAAA HAHAHAHA ... oh, this one's making the email rounds, kiddo! thanks for sharing!
Hazyhead Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 My sister's vegetarian mother-in-law (that sounds much further removed from me when I type it) cooked similarly the Christmas before (we Brits have our turkey then) and this poem really reminded me of the occasion, as the extended-and-then-some family crammed her house to witness the drama. But then Christmas dinner wouldn't be the same without it Thanks for sharing Fields
Author Fieldsofgold Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 HAAAAAAA HAHAHAHA ... oh, this one's making the email rounds, kiddo! thanks for sharing! Glad you enjoyed it. Pam Young has a website, Sidetracked Home Executives (yeah, NOW I'm telling ALL my secrets - forget affairs, this is the real dirty and down low LOL) She has several books and dvd's out. While being helpful, she's a real scream, too. Her stuff is worth reading just for the humor, even if you're a very organized person.
Author Fieldsofgold Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 My sister's vegetarian mother-in-law (that sounds much further removed from me when I type it) cooked similarly the Christmas before (we Brits have our turkey then) and this poem really reminded me of the occasion, as the extended-and-then-some family crammed her house to witness the drama. But then Christmas dinner wouldn't be the same without it Thanks for sharing Fields glad you enjoyed it. We can all use the occasional chuckle. I can imagine your vegetarian MIL cooking a turkey! I bet that WAS an event!
Author Fieldsofgold Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 While this thread is not about the "turkey" you're in love with, it might be fun to have a little holiday levity. How to thaw a turkey - "My story is from a friend - she didn't have enough time to defrost her turkey....so she put it in the jacuzzi (still in the plastic packaging)....it rolled all over the tub as the jets tumbled it around, she said it took only half the usual defrost time!" Or, how NOT to thaw a turkey - "SHE's should not try to force the gravy packet out of the still half frozen turkey. Because the gravy packet, which is mostly thawed liquid by this time, will POP from the pressure and spray gravy EVERYWHERE! We kept finding gravy spots for weeks!" And make sure it's the turkey - "SHE shouldn't pull the turkey out of the freezer and without actually looking in the large frozen bag, set it out in the other fridge to thaw, only to pull it out the morning of the feast, look in and discover that she had pulled out a bag of pork fat waiting to be rendered!!! Not a turkey at all!!!" (Copied from S.H.E. Shouldn'ts http://www.flylady.net/pages/HolidayCruising5.asp)
Author Fieldsofgold Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 I love flylady! Yes! I love Flylady and Pam. They are just great! And Pam is sooooo funny!
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