irc333 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I was on an online date with this woman, she was rather cute (pleasantly suprised) But she seemed kind of "short" with me...she did mention to me she was indeed the shy type....so the conversation didn't flow as I hoped....but it did flow "somewhat" We first went mini-golfing. (she just seemed nervous the whole time, I could pick up on that) And the date seemed to go almost too quickly. We went to have dinner afterwards, we did talk some more , get to know each other...and after we got done, she almost walked straight in front of me as if she was in a hurry to get to her car. I went to hug her good night, and I think she didn't even want to hug me, just gave me a quick shoulder to soulder hug, and she got in the car. I felt like it was a "Benny Hill" date...or "express date" And she didn't even thank me for the dinner either. I don't mean to sound like I was expecting anything, but I felt like I blew 45 bucks for nothing. Figuring that she was just nervous, and perhaps a person would need more than 1 date to warm up to someone, I asked her out again. She said that she felt no spark, and wished me luck. I was like "oh okay, no biggie" but she did seem a bit socially inept. This could be a TWO part post about how sometimes, I think the NERVOUSNESS of online dating, in general, interferes with how people behave in a regular date. If they're seriously nervous, they might think that there was no chemistry or they were just actually too nervous and thus this affected or put a monkey wrench in the whole evening. And I bet this happens a lot, right?
utterer of lies Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 If they're seriously nervous, they might think that there was no chemistry or they were just actually too nervous and thus this affected or put a monkey wrench in the whole evening. There was no spark because she wasn't attracted to you, and not because she was too nervous.
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Agreed with uttereroflies... She wasn't nervous, she just realised she didn't like you romantically early on so she acted cold and didn't make an effort.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 People get nervous before dates, period. Whether they met that person online or otherwise is irrelevant. What's happened here is that she wasn't interested in you.
NoLongerSad Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 She didn't say thank you because she's a biotch. Just because she's not romantically attracted to you is no excuse for being rude.
Author irc333 Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 yeah, but kind of rude though for what she did.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 yeah, but kind of rude though for what she did. Well you haven't missed out on anything, in that case.
Author irc333 Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Well you haven't missed out on anything, in that case. Yeah, I guess so, I was chalking it up to her having no personality.
U1987-2 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I was on an online date with this woman, she was rather cute (pleasantly suprised) But she seemed kind of "short" with me...she did mention to me she was indeed the shy type....so the conversation didn't flow as I hoped....but it did flow "somewhat" We first went mini-golfing. (she just seemed nervous the whole time, I could pick up on that) And the date seemed to go almost too quickly. We went to have dinner afterwards, we did talk some more , get to know each other...and after we got done, she almost walked straight in front of me as if she was in a hurry to get to her car. I went to hug her good night, and I think she didn't even want to hug me, just gave me a quick shoulder to soulder hug, and she got in the car. I felt like it was a "Benny Hill" date...or "express date" And she didn't even thank me for the dinner either. I don't mean to sound like I was expecting anything, but I felt like I blew 45 bucks for nothing. Figuring that she was just nervous, and perhaps a person would need more than 1 date to warm up to someone, I asked her out again. She said that she felt no spark, and wished me luck. I was like "oh okay, no biggie" but she did seem a bit socially inept. This could be a TWO part post about how sometimes, I think the NERVOUSNESS of online dating, in general, interferes with how people behave in a regular date. If they're seriously nervous, they might think that there was no chemistry or they were just actually too nervous and thus this affected or put a monkey wrench in the whole evening. And I bet this happens a lot, right? How did you manage to get a girl to go out from online dating?
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 And she didn't even thank me for the dinner either. I don't mean to sound like I was expecting anything, but I felt like I blew 45 bucks for nothing. Figuring that she was just nervous, and perhaps a person would need more than 1 date to warm up to someone, I asked her out again. She said that she felt no spark, and wished me luck. That's why it's a good idea to meet online dating prospects for a coffee, a walk or something low key and not $$ before going on an actual "date." It's not just money; it's a time investment that is better spent with somebody with whom there's mutual interest.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Well you haven't missed out on anything, in that case. That isn't necessarily the case. She was probably just an A$$ to him because she wasn't attracted, but a nice girl overall.
Author irc333 Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 That isn't necessarily the case. She was probably just an A$$ to him because she wasn't attracted, but a nice girl overall. Then that's an oxymoron. A person who is genuinely nice (overall) would not act like an A$$. (I heard women tell stories like this, who think it's cute to, if they don't like what they see, or just don't care for the guy, they'll be deliberately rude to turn the guy off so much, that "maybe he won't bother asking me out for a 2nd date") It didn't happen in MY case, but I've heard of extreme cases though. With her, she was just kind of stand-offish and cold....didn't say too much.... I mean, we talked about movies and otherh hobbies, but I was trying to pull most of the info out of her. (forced conversation).
Author irc333 Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 How did you manage to get a girl to go out from online dating? Not sure I follow, I did what everyone else pretty much does to get a woman to out with me from online dating. We talked online here and there, talked on the phone, then I asked to get together in public. Which is how most online dating encounters occur. (Ditto, meet for coffee, cheaper that way, lol)
Feelin Frisky Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 (edited) That's why it's a good idea to meet online dating prospects for a coffee, a walk or something low key and not $$ before going on an actual "date." It's not just money; it's a time investment that is better spent with somebody with whom there's mutual interest. Mme, Chaucer--Ding, ding, ding. Winner of the common sense award. OPer, I don't see the need to add insult to injury by saying "she wasn't into you" or so forth. Maybe there was no spark because she has no adult social skills and expects the guy to do everything "correct" in the "correctest" order so she doesn't have to risk anything that might make her feel something other than entitled to be treated like a queen. We can't tell from here how either one of you behaved. But what Mme. Chauser suggests makes a great deal of sense. Why even risk blowing good money on not only a lousy date but a rejection you have to second guess yourself with there after. if it's possible, go for something less formal and less committal to see if it's happening. This girl seemed to shut you down pretty coldly and quickly, well if those are the rules, someone can do that over a Dunkin Donut instead of medalions of tender-loin. Is she has a comment, just tell her this is in lieu of a date so that if both sides are amenable it's more likely to turn out well. Edited November 23, 2010 by Feelin Frisky
Star Gazer Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 It's pretty obvious to me that she just wasn't interested from the moment she got there. Who knows why she didn't thank you for dinner. Could be any number of reasons. Maybe she's impolite. More likely though, the natural inclination to thank you for a nice time didn't occur to her because, well, she didn't have one.
Author irc333 Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 It's pretty obvious to me that she just wasn't interested from the moment she got there. Who knows why she didn't thank you for dinner. Could be any number of reasons. Maybe she's impolite. More likely though, the natural inclination to thank you for a nice time didn't occur to her because, well, she didn't have one. Didn't expect her to thank me for a nice time...just the dinner and mini-golf.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Didn't expect her to thank me for a nice time...just the dinner and mini-golf. Clearly it's Ok for a woman to not say thanks. She is entitled to your attention. You are required to pay for her time and entertainment. She doesn't have to make an effort to make sure the date is enjoyable, simply because your paying for it. Your expected to pay... so why should give two squirts of piss? Let me guess... your like me... living in the U.S.?
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Oh, come on, UF. There was no victim in that story. Nobody made the OP pay for a date on a first meet-up with an online contact. There is a good chance that the conversation being stilted was a two way street. That's what happens when people are not "clicking." Not saying "thank you"? Very impolite. Just FYI, I have lived in other countries and there were plenty of rude people in every one of them, even Japan.
veggirl Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 She should have thanked you for spending that $$ on her, whether she had a good time or not. Talk about inexcusably rude!! In fact, if she knew right off the bat she wasn't interested, she should have paid for her share!
welikeincrowds Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I have lived in other countries and there were plenty of rude people in every one of them, even Japan. What?! That's impossible!
dispatch3d Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I wouldn't have taken her to dinner and wouldn't have asked her out again. God you'd have to endure that whole experience twice (painful!).
fishtaco Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 The man is courting the woman as much as the woman is courting the man. If she doesn't make the date interesting, there shouldn't be a second date. It's not like it's solely the man's job to be entertaining. You were willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and try again, she wasn't. No big deal. I've had dates with magic sparks shooting out of both of our ears that faded to nothing. All part of the fun. Keep cranking. Although kudos for getting a date from an online site. That's the hard way of getting dates, for men at least. She should have thanked you for spending that $$ on her, whether she had a good time or not. Talk about inexcusably rude!! In fact, if she knew right off the bat she wasn't interested, she should have paid for her share! Thank you veggirl. I don't expect women to behave this way, but when they do, they have my respect. Unfortunately women like you are in the minority.
Els Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Most ethical women will insist on paying for their share if they're not interested in the guy and know it won't go anywhere. Sorry she wasn't one.
AverageJoe Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I I don't mean to sound like I was expecting anything, but I felt like I blew 45 bucks for nothing. You did. Why would you possibly do this? Oh, come on, UF. There was no victim in that story Sounds good to me. Hand me over 45 bucks if you dont mind.
CLS63AMG Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 You didnt show this girl old doctored photo's of yourself and "exaggerate" a few things about you that became apparent once she saw you, did you? Nothing like an online "date" that looks nothing like her/his pics and was a complete actor/actress on the phone. Ive been on the receiving end of a few of those and I totally clammed up and just prayed for the date to end. Saying "thank-you" was the last thing on my mind. Hell, one was so bad I diverted from dinner and sat in the car with her at a coffee shop for an hour before just driving back to her place and dropping her off. If you're not honest, dont expect the other person to be if you betrayed them. may not be your case but I am just saying...
Recommended Posts