JDOP Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Hi. To keep a long story short. I got back together with this girl I had been seeing the year before. Back then I ended the relationship, and she was hesitant to start over with me. We are (or were) dating now more than 2 months. We had quite a few arguments over the fact that she couldn't come to my PhD defense, which is a huge deal for me. She said she had to work, and she also couldn't make it afterwards because she didn't want to cancel her class. To me, it felt like she didn't care enough for me, to cancel her plans for one evening only. On the other hand, she did manage to go abroad on a workshop for 10 days. I didn't hear much from her during this time, then suddenly 3 days before my defense (when she is still abroad) she texts me that she has 'a bad feeling' because she feels that she is too much under pressure. I answer "do you want to end the relationship"? She responds, "I need some space, I don't want to hurt you but I feel exhausted". In my opinion this can mean many things: "yes I do want to end because I feel exhausted" or "no I don't, but I need space because I feel exhausted". Anyway, I respond that I understand etc, and that if she wants to talk, she should let me know, but not before my PhD defense because this is of a higher priority for me now. It has been one week now before her last text, and I still haven't heard from her. On the one hand I am pissed off, because she obviously treats me with little respect (she could have at least wished me good luck or something), on the other hand, I am hoping that things are still fixable. What do I do now? Wait another week? contact her myself to say I'm picking up my stuff? Contact her to talk it over? I don't know what's the matter with her. I think it is a pretty childish thing to do: send a text like that from abroad, and then pretend like I don't exist. anyway, please let me know your opinion, it's driving me crazy
lovebird72 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I think that was her way of telling you she wanted out of the relationship. Especially since she didn't respond after your final question. However, I'm a big proponent of "do what you want". Second guessing will only prolong your misery..so if you want to talk to her, you should text her and ask if you can call to clarify the situation. If she has stuff that belongs to you, that would be a good way to at least open the door to communication. If she doesn't respond to your request, then you'll know for sure. Good luck!
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